Even Mrs. Jewls laughs at Dana’s funny faces. “But you need to be careful, Dana,” she warned. “You don’t want your face to get stuck that way.”
Dana wasn’t worried about that. No matter how weirdly she stretched it, her face always bounced back.
But that was before the Cloud of Doom settled over the school. It had been there a week now, even as other clouds drifted past. Each day, it seemed to grow a little bit larger.
Dana and Leslie were on the playground, waiting for Jenny. It was recess, and Jenny went to get “Patches” from Louis.
“Patches” was the ball that Louis had blown up, in more ways than one.
Louis never found all the pieces, and had to cut up an old yellow raincoat to fill in the gaps. Jenny, Leslie, and Dana liked Patches the best, because it was impossible to predict which way it would bounce.
“Hey, Dana, there’s a giant worm on your foot!” said John.
Dana looked down at her sneaker.
“Made you look!” John exclaimed. He and Joe laughed.
“So she looked at her foot?” asked Leslie. “What’s wrong with that?”
“There wasn’t even a worm!” explained Joe.
Dana felt like a big doofus. Why did she always fall for John’s tricks?
She made her Doofus Face.
She closed her right eye, raised her left eyebrow, puffed out her right cheek, and stuck out her tongue.
When John looked at it, he suddenly felt like a big doofus. “Sorry,” he muttered. “It was just a dumb joke.”
He hung his head and walked away. Joe followed.
Dana felt sad for John. She hadn’t meant to call him a doofus. She had just wanted to make him laugh. She liked it when John teased her.
Jenny returned with Patches.
“You missed it!” said Leslie. “Dana got back at John good!”
Jenny turned to Dana. “Why are you calling me a doofus?” she asked.
Dana didn’t realize she was still wearing her Doofus Face. She tried to pull her tongue back in but it wouldn’t budge. Her cheek wouldn’t unpuff. Her right eye remained shut, and her left eyebrow stayed up.
“That’s not nice,” said Jenny.
“Uhhhhh . . .” said Dana.
“Oh my gosh!” exclaimed Leslie. “Is your face stuck?”
Dana nodded. Her Doofus Face moved up and down.
“So you’re not doing it on purpose?” asked Jenny.
Her Doofus Face turned right, then left.
“It’s the Cloud of Doom!” exclaimed Jenny.
Leslie covered her mouth with her hand.
The three girls looked up at the dark and swirling cloud.
“I’ll get Louis,” Leslie said, and hurried away.
She returned with the yard teacher a short while later.
Louis laughed when he saw Dana.
“It’s her Doofus Face,” said Jenny.
“It’s a good one,” said Louis. “I think I like it even better than your Goofball Face.”
“But now her face is stuck that way!” said Leslie.
Louis thought a moment, and then blew his whistle real loud. Jenny and Leslie covered their ears.
Dana’s face remained stuck.
Louis didn’t really expect it to work. He just liked blowing his whistle.
Kids from all over the playground came running at the sound of it.
“What’s up, Louis?” asked Todd.
“Dana’s face is stuck,” Jenny explained.
“Really?” asked Todd. He poked Dana’s puffed-out cheek. It was like poking a rock.
Mr. Kidswatter also heard the whistle. “Out of my way, let me through,” he ordered as he made his way to Louis and Dana. “What’s going on here?” he demanded.
He looked at Dana.
Dana looked back at Mr. Kidswatter.
Their eyes locked.
It became a staring contest. Everyone wondered who would blink first.
But Dana couldn’t blink.
Finally, Mr. Kidswatter turned away. “Cute kid,” he said, and patted Dana on the head. He headed back to the building.
Dana’s face instantly popped back into place.
“Your face is fixed!” exclaimed Jenny.
Dana smiled, but then she made her face return to just plain normal. She didn’t want her smile to get stuck. Even that could be unpleasant. As long as they were under the Cloud of Doom, she would have to be very careful with her facial expressions.
Mr. Kidswatter walked quickly back to his office. He shut the door behind him.
He was sticking out his tongue. His left eye was shut tight, his right eyebrow was raised, and his left cheek was all puffed out.
11
What’s the Point?
In some classrooms, teachers choose the weekly spelling words. Not so in Mrs. Jewls’s class. She lets her students pick.
Nearly everyone had a hand raised. Mrs. Jewls called on Rondi.
“Pistachios,” said Rondi.
This is why other teachers don’t let their students choose the words. Mrs. Jewls couldn’t spell pistachios.
So she did what every teacher everywhere does in such situations. “That’s an excellent word, Rondi,” she said. “Would you like to come up and write it on the board?”
Rondi came to the front of the room. Mrs. Jewls paid close attention as Rondi wrote pistachios on the blackboard.
“I love pistachios,” said Kathy when Rondi returned to her seat.
“Me too,” said Allison. “They’re my third-favorite nut.”
Mrs. Jewls called on D.J.
“Grumple,” he said.
“I don’t think ‘grumple’ is a word,” Mrs. Jewls pointed out.
“So?” asked D.J. “We should still know how to spell it.”
“It might become a word someday,” Kathy agreed.
Mrs. Jewls wrote grumple under pistachios.
Joy raised her hand. “A,” she suggested.
“A what?” asked Mrs. Jewls.
“Just a,” said Joy.
“Don’t you think that’s a little too easy?” said Mrs. Jewls.
“It’s a very common word,” said Kathy. “It’s important that we all know how to spell it.”
Mrs. Jewls couldn’t argue with that. She added a to the list.
Myron had his hand raised.
“Yes, Myron,” said Mrs. Jewls.
“What’s the point?” Myron asked.
“That’s three words,” said Mrs. Jewls.
“And all good ones too,” chirped Kathy.
“The Cloud of Doom is getting bigger every day!” Myron exclaimed. “What does it matter if we can spell?”
“So we can read and write,” Mrs. Jewls replied.
“What’s the point of reading?” asked Leslie.
“What’s the point of writing?” asked Jason.
“What the point of arithmetic?” asked Benjamin.
“There is no point!” Myron grumpled. He slammed his pencil down hard on his desk. The point broke off of it.
“I understand you’re scared and upset,” said Mrs. Jewls. “But what’s the point of quitting? We can all just sit around and grumple, or we can try to do our best, cloud or no cloud.
“And it hasn’t been all bad,” Mrs. Jewls continued. “We’ve been getting a whole lot more nail clippings.”