Again, everyone cheered, and Eric Bacon continued his victory dance.
“How did you get so many?” Mrs. Jewls asked him.
Eric B. stopped dancing. “I went door-to-door, asking my neighbors,” he said.
Everyone laughed.
Leslie had sold wrapping paper door-to-door, but she couldn’t imagine asking people for their toenails!
“It’s easier than asking for money,” said Eric. “Everyone was happy to donate.”
He erased the number 71 and put 349 in its place. Then he did the math.
2717
+ 349
3066
“Almost a million!” Stephen called out.
“Not even close,” muttered Allison.
Mrs. Jewls told Eric Bacon to take a Tootsie Roll Pop from her coffee can.
He took one. Then, when she wasn’t looking, he took another.
“Anyone else?” asked Mrs. Jewls.
Eric Ovens sat glumly at his desk.
“Raise your hand,” urged Kathy.
“Why bother?” he muttered.
Kathy got up from her seat and stood next to him. She grabbed Eric’s arm and raised it for him. “Eric Ovens brought a whole lot!” she announced.
“Bring them on up,” said Mrs. Jewls.
He had no choice. “It’s just eighty-three,” he said, and then emptied his bag into the nail bucket.
“That’s the second most ever!” shouted Kathy. She started clapping.
Amazingly, everyone else clapped too.
They were still clapping as he did the math on the board.
3066
+ 83
3149
“That’s closer to a million!” exclaimed Stephen.
Everyone cheered.
Even Allison couldn’t argue with that.
6
Oppositosis
Eric Ovens wasn’t the only one who had noticed that Kathy had become nice. Others, too, began to notice her odd behavior.
“I like your picture,” Kathy told Bebe.
“What’s wrong with it?” Bebe asked.
“Nothing,” said Kathy. “It’s perfect. You are very talented.”
It took Bebe a moment to realize that Kathy hadn’t insulted her.
Mrs. Jewls also noticed the change. “Kathy, will you come here, please?” she asked.
Kathy approached her teacher’s desk. “Yes, Mrs. Jewls?” she asked.
Mrs. Jewls smiled. “You have been doing very well, Kathy,” she said. “I’ve noticed a real improvement in your work, and in your attitude.”
“That must be because you’re such a good teacher,” said Kathy.
“Well, thank you,” said Mrs. Jewls. “But there’s a tiny little problem. I’m having a hard time reading your homework.”
“What do you mean?”
“Look at it,” said Mrs. Jewls, showing Kathy her most recent homework assignment.
“What’s wrong with it?” asked Kathy.
“First thing we learned in psychiatrist school,” Dr. Pickle said as he patted D.J. on the head.
“My hiccups are all gone!” D.J. told Kathy.
“Who cares,” Kathy grumpled.
“Would you mind stepping inside my office, young lady?” asked Dr. Pickle.
“But he’s the sicko!” said Kathy, pointing at D.J.
“Please,” said Dr. Pickle.
She entered the counselor’s office. “That beard is really ugly. I guess your face must be even worse, huh?”
Dr. Pickle didn’t get angry. He just stroked his beard and said, “Very interesting.”
Kathy sniffed. “Smells like pickles,” she commented.
“Very interesting, indeed,” the counselor said, and then asked her to sit down.
Kathy sat on the couch. “Lumpy,” she complained.
“I’m going to try a little experiment,” said Dr. Pickle. “I’m going to say a word, and then I want you to say the first word that pops into your head.”
“Stupid!” said Kathy.
“I haven’t started yet,” said Dr. Pickle.
“Sloppy!” said Kathy.
Dr. Pickle realized he had better hurry up and get started. “Cold,” he began.
“Hot,” Kathy replied.
“Hard.”
“Soft.”
“Skinny.”
“Fat.”
“This is kind of fun, isn’t it, Kathy?” asked Dr. Pickle.
“No, it’s boring,” said Kathy.
“Worse than I thought,” said Dr. Pickle. “I studied your condition in psychiatrist school. “I’m afraid you have a bad case of oppositosis.”
“No, I don’t. You do!”
Dr. Pickle stroked his beard.
Unfortunately, there was no known cure for oppositosis. Other psychiatrists had tried to help their patients learn to be kind and think positively.
Dr. Pickle knew that would never work on Kathy. He had his own theory, however. He could try to turn her opposites into double opposites.
He opened his desk drawer and took out his pickle-stone and chain.
Kathy watched the green stone as it gently swung back and forth. She fell asleep on the count of five.
“Can you hear me, Kathy?” he asked.
“And I can smell you too,” she replied.
“You are looking into a mirror,” he told her.
“I’m looking into a mirror,” Kathy repeated, eyes closed.
“Tell me what you see.”
“I see a beautiful girl with black hair,” she said. “And I see a funny-looking man with a pointy beard.”
“Very good,” said Dr. Pickle. “Now I want you to reach out and touch the mirror.”
Kathy slowly moved her arm.
“But as you try to touch it,” said Dr. Pickle, “you’ll discover the mirror isn’t solid. Your hand will go right through it.”
Kathy stuck her hand out farther. “That’s weird,” she said.
“Now stand up, and walk through the mirror.”
Kathy stood up. She took one step, then another. She hesitated for a moment, and then took one last step.
“Amazing!” she exclaimed.
“You are on the other side of the mirror,” said Dr. Pickle. “What do you see?”
Kathy looked around. “Nice office,” she said. She sniffed. “Smells nice too.”
“I’m glad you like it,” said Dr. Pickle. “Would you like to sit on the couch?”
Kathy sat back down. “Very comfortable,” she noted.
“When I count to three, you will wake up. But you will still be on the other side of the mirror. One . . . two . . . three.”
Kathy opened her eyes.
“How do you feel?” he asked her.
“Fine, thanks,” said Kathy. “How are you?”
“Very well, thank you,” said Dr. Pickle. “Do you mind if we continue with our little experiment?”
“Sounds like fun,” said Kathy.
“Happy,” said Dr. Pickle.
“Smile,” said Kathy.
“Smart,” said Dr. Pickle.
“Mrs. Jewls,” said Kathy.
“Friend,” said Dr. Pickle.
“D.J.,” said Kathy.
Dr. Pickle led her to the door.