She was close. So close. The scent of jasmine wrapped around me, testing me, tempting me, teasing me. Ever since the first time I'd met her, she had been trying to destroy me. It was the only explanation for her behavior. She was always there, demanding a smile, trying to make me laugh. And when I didn't, she would pout. I remembered the first time I saw her. I'd been struck dumb. Completely frozen in place when Toby's little sister had bounded out of the car. It had been a parent's weekend. Mum hadn't been able to come because she'd had to work, and obviously, my father wasn't coming, so I planned to just hang out with my mates. Toby's mum had come, along with Emma. The first time I'd seen her, Toby and I were thirteen, she was ten. She'd straight up asked me where my parents were. And that had stung. It was like she could see straight to the loneliness that was eating me alive.
When I told her to mind her business, it was like I could see her digging in her heels, determined to spread sunshine my way. By the end of the twenty-four-hour visit, she’d made all of us friendship bracelets with these intricate, woven designs that I didn't even know were possible. The ones that kids at school did were always some simple concoctions. But no, not Emma Varma, because God forbid, she wasn't going to do anything halfway. Her mum said she'd stayed up half the night making them. Mine was the biggest of them all. She said it was because I needed more friendship than the rest.
God, I hated her. I hated that she saw me so clearly. I hated that she knew what I needed. At the same time, that little girl had chewed me up on the inside. I'd kept that damn bracelet.
My little sliver of sunshine. But that girl was now this woman, teasing me, tempting me, grinding her hips against me, trying to make me break. Why was she always trying to break me? I'd never done anything to her. I'd only ever been minding my own bloody business. And yet there she was, finding ways to demand that I give her some of my time, my attention, my soul. Well, I had no interest in giving my soul.
And also, you told Toby you'd protect her.
And in that moment, the things that I wanted to do with her had nothing to do with protection. She was in my house. Up to no good. Demanding that we read her in on the Middleton situation.
Eleven years ago, our mate, Toby, her brother, had died in our secret society initiation. For ten years we'd thought it had been an accident. Something unavoidable. And then we'd found out that it wasn't an accident. That it had been preventable. The brothers on duty had deliberately not helped him. They'd let him die. We'd taken down two of them, and there was just one left to deal with. And we were hell-bent on bringing down the final one. The Elite had made a lot of mistakes over the years. We had the opportunity to change it, or we could burn it down. We were leaning toward changing it, but burning it down was still an option too.
But Emma… Emma couldn’t be part of it. We'd all agreed to keep her away. We'd learned the hard way just how dangerous our so-called brothers were. What they'd been up to, what they were willing to do in order to hold onto their power. We could handle the fallout, but I'd be damned if we’d let Emma get caught in the crosshairs. Try as I might though, I couldn't get her to listen. I couldn't get her to agree to walk away.
Six weeks ago, I'd sent her away. I'd gotten her a dream job with an advertising firm working in their crisis management department. I called in a few favors. Her mum was originally from New York and had family there. And Pamma Auntie had been looking for a change. I think the anniversary of Toby's death really did her in. So I'd arranged for her to be taken care of. She had a sister in in New York and one in Toronto So we set her up in New York, and she could build a life there while going to Toronto as often as she wanted. The last I’d heard, she'd gone back to school and was even dating again. The idea of Pamma Auntie dating made me want to laugh. Although, she had that same sunshiny aura about her that her daughter did.
Her sunshine doesn't bother you though. Only Emma's.
"You look like you want to eat me alive, Bridge. Do you?"
Fuck me. "Why do you do this?"
"Do what?" She angled her chin at me defiantly.
"You're trying to push me to my breaking point."
"And you're close. I can tell. Just let go. You'll feel better."
She rocked her hips in a small figure eight again, and I had to clamp my teeth down hard. I slid my hands up her back and then to her hair, then wound her ponytail around my wrist. "Do you understand that you are not ready for this?"
"Oh, on the contrary, Bridge. I think you're the one who’s not ready. Go on, have a taste. I know you want to."
I swallowed hard. I was always right on the edge of control with her. Always just desperate enough to give in. This was her fault. I didn't do things like this. Sure, I liked women. And since Mina had proven herself to be such a conniving bitch, I was availing myself of all the available, and not so available, women in London. And there were many. I could do mindless and easy. It was like a workout. And fuck, I liked sex. I liked it raw and dirty. Fun and playful. Any way I could get it. I didn't realize that Mina had kept me on this tether for years, doing my father's bidding. Jesus Christ. I blinked rapidly and shoved Emma away from me. "Enough. You can have the room down the hall to the right."
She glowered at me. "Why do you do that? Pretend you don't want me."
"I'm not pretending Emma. I don't want you."
Liar.
I could feel my inner self doing a double-take so hard I almost spun myself around.
"You don't want me? Fine. It's bullshit, but fine. You know I could fuck anyone, right?"
The fuck she would. It was better not to tell her that though. It would just make her run out and fuck the first guy she saw. Not that she'd actually get that far because I would stop her and lock her in this house until she saw reason.
Oh yeah, that sounds completely rational.
She rolled her eyes. "God, you're so fucking uptight. Would you relax? I didn't come here to steal your ever-present virtue. I want Middleton's head on a spike. And I'm pretty sure Nyla would have shot me if she had caught me at East’s. And well, you know Olivia and Ben. I would have gotten an eyeful of something I didn't want to see. So that left you. And Drew… Well, Drew is sort of a prick."
"Drew is not a prick.” Okay, sometimes Drew was a prick, and something was up with his wife, so she was smart to avoid that ticking bomb. “I love hearing that I'm the last resort."
"Yeah, pretty much. You think I would voluntarily come and talk to you? I don't know what the hell I ever did to you that makes you always act like such a twat. You made a deal with me. You made me a promise."
"I did no such thing. Ben made you a promise. I told him to keep you out of it. He has reconsidered now."
"Not my problem. If you're upset about it, that's too bad. Jesus, are you really not going to help me?"
"No, I'm not. You're going to get yourself killed. I want no part of that."
"Then help me."
"God, you're so fucking obstinate. You won't listen to anyone. You think you're the only one who misses Toby?"
"I'm his goddamn sister, aren't I?"
I ground my teeth and tugged her back. "Get in the fucking bedroom."