Yet, just like my brother, I struggled to find my place. My standing as a female kraken shifter hadn’t garnered me any great respect amongst the Council, and while I was a respected member of the rebellion, I wrestled to discover my usefulness amid powerful mythologicals and cunning animal shifters. Despite my creature’s size and power, being a kraken—especially a female kraken—wasn’t considered much of a strength. If anything, being a sea creature on land felt like being a fish out of water. Literally. There was little I could do this far into the Alaskan mountains.
Unhappy with my assessment, my Kraken hissed in my head, but we both knew my depiction was accurate. She was significantly smaller than my brother’s Kraken, though she would quickly disprove anyone who thought to tell us we were weak. Like Theo, my Kraken could lend me physical strength, and both water and ice manipulation came easily to us, but anyone who needed such powers deferred to my brother rather than me. My only other ability allowed me to speak to sea creatures, and the need for that this far away from any body of water made it a futile skill.
It seemed I didn’t fit anywhere, and I was left feeling bereft. Theo never meant to do it, but I felt like I lived my life in his shadow. Never measuring up. Never being enough on my own.
Even the Gala had been a perfect example. Despite how excited I’d been, I knew some of the bids had been strategically made, not to get to me but due to Theo. His own place as Nix’s guardian and potential mate had increased our status in the eyes of several shifters, and many hoped to get in on the ground floor, so to speak, desiring to catch the favor of the Phoenix and the male who’d ‘rule’ her.
I scoffed, even as a sick feeling took up residence in the pit of my stomach. The Council’s view on women was just one of the antiquated ideas I couldn’t wait for the shifter world to move past. How we’d devolved so far that women were seen for nothing more than the status of their wombs—lower-ranked women wanted for their ability to breed shifter children that would hold the father’s traits, and higher-ranked women coveted for the strength and power they could breed into their children—was sickening. While higher mythological women had more choice in who they took as lovers or mates, they were still bargaining chips to be directed by the old, selfish men of their families, their wombs an exchange of wealth and favor.
Thankfully, Theo had a good sense of what bids had been calculatingly made and had turned them away, sparing me from having to deal with shady men only looking to exploit my relationship with Nix. I knew if Nix ever found out about any of it, she’d be fuming. It was just one more reason I loved her like a sister. Theo had turned away the more lecherous males who had attempted to bid as well, not like that was any surprise from my overprotective big brother. The way their eyes had slid over me had made it clear I was less than nothing in their minds—just a means to an end, a body that could bear children who would take on their own shifter traits. Theo’s words had nearly dripped with ice when he turned them away, but I had still felt their gazes on me. However, I knew fate could never be so cruel as to deem one of those evil men my mate. By the end of the Gala, I’d had a handful of bids with real potential, and I was lucky that some of them had been members of the rebellion who had joined the mass exodus with me.
All except for Joshua, but I had to remind myself he wasn’t mine despite how I cared for him. He was a good man, one I’d formed a connection with, but that was before I knew he wasn’t a possibility. While I’d desperately hoped the Basilisk would have bid on me at the Gala, I didn’t know at that time he was one of Nix’s true mates. As disappointed as I was, I could never be mad at her—or Joshua—for following their hearts. They were true mates, after all, and I’d never stand in the way of fate.
That didn’t mean I wasn’t jealous though. Nix had managed to find six true mates despite only being among the shifters for a few months. Rini had managed to find four, three of whom she’d known since she was a child. So far, I hadn’t even found one.
A few of the males who had placed bids on me had been sweet and kind, but I hadn’t felt that soul-deep connection with anyone—though if I was being honest, I had greatly enjoyed the attention, not to mention the gifts. Ren and Hawthorne, both of whom had defected with me, were the only ones who stood apart from the group, and while the time I’d spent with them hadn’t been bad, I highly doubted they were my true mates. Then I had come across Cedric and something inside of me had lit up. I’d wanted to shriek my fury at Nix when they had gone on their dates together. Even though I logically knew nothing was going on between them and it was all for show, my Kraken still hadn’t liked it. When he began to spend time with me, I was even more sure he was meant to be mine.
Luckily, everything was different now. I hadn’t been looking forward to begging the Council to allow him to be my mate—if he agreed to take me as one, that was. Away from the Council, the dating and mating rules were different. No longer did I need to seek permission for whom I took as a mate. If both parties agreed to make the commitment to each other, we were free to love and bond as we saw fit. It was liberating, if not a little nerve-racking, that the choice was completely in my hands.
There was no need for bids or sanctioned dates or chaperones—much to Theo’s chagrin. I had made the mistake of mentioning the possibility of Cedric being my mate to Theo in a huff when he’d chased Cedric away from a heated make out session. It was odd to see my tan brother turn a sickly shade of green—though that might also have had something to do with the fact that he’d seen Cedric’s hand up my shirt. Since then, Theo had been doing everything in his power to keep Cedric busy and away from me. If he didn’t stop soon, I was going to go directly to Nix, knowing she’d take him in hand—and it’d cause less drama than me kicking him in the balls or attempting to drown him.
Besides, it wasn’t like Cedric was chomping at the bit to tie me down in a mating. So far, regardless of my hints and a few heated moments between us, he’d yet to speak of a lifetime commitment despite the way his eyes would heat and soften when he’d stroke a hand down my cheek. I knew it was selfish, but I couldn’t help wanting time with just him—someplace we couldn’t be interrupted. I needed to know what he felt about me before I figured out if he was a true mate or not. The last thing I wanted was for a man to feel tied to me out of obligation rather than feelings, and Cedric’s hesitation had been hard to read. Was he turned off because of my age? Seventeen was old enough to mate in the shifter world, so I doubted that was it. My looks? From the way he’d responded during our kisses, I kind of doubted that was it. All I could assume, then, was that it was due to my Kraken.
She shrieked in my head, hating that idea as much as I did. I brushed the tears away, breathing deeply and evenly as I firmed my jaw. Well, I was not going to wait forever. If he wasn’t sure about mating with me, then I’d just have to find a way to prove myself. I’d show him exactly what a Kraken was capable of.
That werewolf better watch out, this Kraken was officially unleashed.
One
Joshua
If I had to watch one more disgusting display of the Council lording their power over lower mythologicals and animal shifters, I was going to be fucking sick. My stomach churned as I observed Councilmen Stepanov and Maldonado paw at the women they’d called to entertain them after dinner, cowing them into compliance as they pulled them into their laps and teased them with dry, morbid humor that served to terrify rather than seduce.