“But he couldn’t have known there was a Paladin at the citadel … could he? How could he have created a plan to come here and steal Inara’s power if all of Vamala believed the Paladin to be gone?” Sachiel pointed out.
Inara’s fingers were entangled in her dress, so tight I feared it might rip. I hesitantly reached over and put my hand on top of hers. She flinched at the unexpected contact, but quickly turned her hand over to thread her fingers through mine, clutching me as tightly as she had the fabric. And with that grip, her shoulders sagged infinitesimally, as though my touch were enough of a balm for her to release her guard, ever so slightly, the concealed truth of her suffering pressing down on her.
“My uncle—Barloc—the jakla—” Halvor stumbled over the words, his uncertainty and confusion evident in his every tone, the way his gaze moved from person to Paladin to person in the room, fear coating his skin like sweat. “He was connected to anyone in Vamala who had ever expressed an interest in the Paladin. Those who venerated them and wished they hadn’t gone, and those who feared and hated them. Both groups had theories of their continued existence, hiding in the shadows. He spoke to me of rumors … stories whispered about a town at the base of the supposedly abandoned citadel, how the villagers spoke of Paladin living there, hiding there behind the hedge. That was part of why he’d wanted to come, why he asked me to fund our expedition. I thought it was to learn more about them, to possibly meet and help them, if they truly did live here. I never thought … I never would have…” He swallowed hard and broke off, his eyes dropping to where I clutched Inara’s hand, our fingers interlaced, knuckles white. “I’m so sorry.”
There was a long pause, before my father said, “We know you had nothing to do with his actions. You need not fear us.”
Halvor looked up at him, a sheen on his hazel eyes—a reflection of firelight or tears, I couldn’t say.
“Which brings us back to the question of what do we do now?” Loukas asked.
Halvor sagged back into his chair at the turn in conversation, the focus drawing away from him.
“I think we stay close to the citadel, run patrols, take watches, and wait and see. He’ll show his hand before too long.” My father looked to Sachiel, the other Paladin general in the room, and she nodded in agreement.
“We’ll be safer in numbers, so I think staying close together—and to the gateway—is for the best. At least for now. Though he won’t be an expert at utilizing his newly gained power, he will have sheer will and strength on his side until the power settles.”
“We’ll divide into pairs, then, and take shifts. The rest of you try to get some rest.” My father’s pronouncement signaled an end to the meal—for the few who had managed to eat anything—and within moments, they were all pushing their chairs back and standing. I avoided looking at Sami, afraid she’d be upset by how little of the food she’d painstakingly prepared had been consumed.
“I’ll take the first shift,” Sachiel volunteered.
“I’ll go with her,” the other unknown Paladin, a female who looked Mother’s age, added.
“Thank you, Lorina.” My father nodded toward her and she inclined her head. “I’ll take the next shift, then, in a few hours.”
“I’ll do it with you,” Raidyn immediately spoke up and my father nodded.
My throat tightened at the thought of both of them out there, during the night, waiting and watching … not knowing if or when an attack might come. Barloc’s eyes and veins pulsing blue—my sister’s blood on his mouth and chin—flashed, a lightning strike of memory. A sudden pressure in my chest stole my ability to breathe.
“Inara … may I walk you to your room?” Halvor’s hesitant question startled my sister, her fingers flexing against mine. But then she released my hand and stood with an attempt at a smile.
“Thank you,” she murmured, but paused to glance back at me. I nodded for her to go. If she wished to be with him—if it would bring her any joy or comfort—she should go.
My father walked out the door behind Inara and Halvor, deep in conversation with Sachiel. My mother shadowed his every step as though afraid he might disappear into the darkness once more, his return nothing more than a phantom of her imagination.
It was impossible to believe this had all happened today. That this morning I’d been in Visimperum, standing by the luxem magnam with my grandfather, saying goodbye to the breathtaking room full of light that was the birthplace of the Paladin and their power. And tonight, his lifeless body lay in the citadel where I’d been born and raised in seclusion. A cold wave crashed over me, despite the waves of heat from the fire engulfing the stack of wood nearby. I shivered as Sami finished gathering the leftover food onto her tray, and the other Paladin divided up the night and next day into shifts. It was a burble of sound and activity that washed over me without piercing the pounding of blood in my ears. My body flashed cold then hot, my breath came faster and faster—
Someone touched my arm, and I jerked with a half-swallowed gasp.
“Zuhra, are you all right?” Raidyn’s voice was a low murmur.
I blinked, shocked to realize everyone had gone, save for Loukas hovering by the door with Sharmaine at his side—both of them watching me.
And Raidyn. He’d stayed. His fingers still lingered on my skin; only the slightest pressure, but it was enough to bring me back to my senses, to interrupt the unaccountable panic that had seized me.
“I … I’m sorry,” I finally responded.
“For what?”
I looked up into his glowing, blue-fire eyes, and lifted my shoulders slightly. I wasn’t even sure; I didn’t know what else to say after all that had occurred—knowing they were now trapped here with us.
After a beat, he said, “It’s been a very long day. I think it might be best if you lie down, try to get some rest.” His fingers curled around my arm, and he tugged, gently pulling me into motion, to my feet first, and then toward the door.
“I can’t lie down. Not yet.” A knot lodged in my lungs, trapping my breath at the mere thought of facing my empty room alone with the panic still simmering within me.
“I was going to check on the gryphons in the stables. Could you show me the way?” Sharmaine asked. “Then you can go finish healing this lout before he undoes everything you already did,” she added, jerking a thumb toward Loukas.
“Did you just call me a lout?” Loukas’s eyebrows lifted.
“Yes, I’ll go with you,” I immediately agreed. Anything to avoid my room—and the solitude that awaited me there.
“Great, it’s settled.” Sharmaine smiled at me, that same genuine smile I’d come to know in Visimperum.
Whatever was going on between her and Raidyn—or me and Raidyn—she continued to treat me like a friend. It made the jealousy I struggled to subdue all the hotter in my chest. It would have been so much easier if she were rude or unkind. I could have hated her and felt justified in hoping to win Raidyn’s affections—taking them from her.
I averted my eyes from his searching gaze as I followed her out of the room, my cheeks and neck hot. My arm still tingled where he’d touched me as we left the boys behind us and silently began to walk through the shadowed hallway. Sharmaine paused after a moment and turned to me. “This place is … something else.”