If I wanted to keep my position as princess inherit, then I had to perform.
I jumped up from the settee, grabbing up Owen and Cosmo's hands, finding Aric's narrow stare.
"I—please…" I swallowed hard, and Aric's head tipped as he watched me. "Would the three of you please retire to my bedroom with me?"
It shouldn't have been a question. It shouldn't even have been a statement. I should've stripped them bare and taken them on the couch like any other woman in the queen's line. But I didn't think I could stand to fake the Hunger in front of an audience so big.
Cosmo and Owen followed readily, but Aric's hands clenched around the arms of the chair he remained in and his head jerked in the briefest movement.
"Aric, you can't refuse," Cosmo whispered. "Especially not in front of the others."
The older man's jaw ticked, and he rose slowly from the chair, eyes fierce and full of anger on me. My own expression was tight as I tried to bury the panic in my own chest, and he blinked and made to follow. Owen cut our path smoothly through the sycophantic Chosen, and I hurried close at his back, grateful for the height and breadth of him giving me something to hide behind.
"Princess, please allow me—"
"You should have a prince with you to gentle their coarse habits—"
"Your water, Your Highness—"
"Your fruit, Your Grace—"
"I would drink from your apex like a dying man—"
I ignored them all, my eyes on the slight stain of Owen's coarse shirt. At the door, we found Prince Thao and Wendell Pope, who made identical and elegant bows to us.
"May we join you, Princess Bryony?" Thao asked in soft and accented Kimmerian.
The damn pair were blocking my escape. "Yes, fine. In, please," I bit out.
Wendell was quick with the door, and the voices followed close at our heels as we stepped into my dark bedchamber. There were candles lit on the mantle, but no fire and my balcony doors were open over the garden, the room fresh with the scent of orchids and gardenias and roses and peonies.
Owen turned and looked over my head. "A little faster, Aric, or you'll let the whole lot in," he said, smiling.
Behind me, a gentle pair of hands took my waist, drawing me back to a warm chest as the door clicked shut behind us. I nearly jumped out of my own skin as lips brushed over my shoulder, breath chuckling as Cosmo nuzzled my bare skin. He smelled nice, a little sweet and pleasantly fresh, and also a bit like plaster, but I couldn't force myself to relax. Instead, I reached for Owen's wrinkled shirt, pulling him to a bend. I made the mistake of stopping to look into his eyes, my own terrified and pained expression reflecting back at me, before I took his face in my hands, stubble scratching my palms, and brought his mouth to mine.
It was not my first kiss. One of Camellia's Chosen had tried to kiss me a year ago, his mouth bruising against mine before I'd wrestled him away. This was my first kiss I'd given freely, although I felt numb at the connection.
Was I doing it right, should I try to press my tongue in as Igor had with me? Owen's hands mirrored my own, gentle and scratching with callouses on my cheeks as he pulled at my lips softly with his, pressing and holding. It was tender and sweet, but my head refused to quiet. Cosmo's hands were petting softly around my waist and hips, a murmur of the others' voices over our shoulders. It didn't feel bad, or painful, but there was a knot of panic my throat couldn't swallow, and my stomach was queasy.
"You look pale, princess," Aric said. I pulled away from Owen's mouth, and he moved his kisses to my cheek and jaw. Aric was leaning against the bottom corner poster of my bed, arms crossed over his chest as he watched us. "Perhaps she is too warm, gentleman. Undress her."
"Should you really be the one making orders?" Prince Thao asked, raising a noble chin and glaring at Aric. The prince and Wendell were behind us, still near the door, and Wendell already had his hands raised to his throat, loosening the tie of his collar.
Aric shrugged, and his eyes never left mine. "If she doesn't like it, she can tell me what to do with my mouth."
Cosmo seemed happy enough to follow Aric's orders, his hands moving to my back to undo the laces of my gown. He pulled a few free, and I gasped as one of his hands reached down the collar of my gown to gently knead at my breast, a startling and vulnerable sensation.
Owen hummed into my cheek, stubble scratching as he nipped at my earlobe, his hands smoothing down my arms before reaching to gather up my skirts.
My heart trembled in my chest until I thought it might take flight. I stumbled out from between the two men with a moan, my hands wrestling myself free of them before moving to cradle my stomach as I hurried quickly to the other side of the room.
"You were too rough with her," Thao said.
I panted, pacing between my fainting couch and the door that would take me to my own sitting room, trying to ignore the shadows of the men by the bed.
"Your Highness?" Owen called.
I can't. I can't do it. I'm broken. I don't have the Hunger.
I will lose the crown and the kingdom. I will fail my family and my people.
"We'd better send for the others," Aric muttered.
"No!"
They stared at me as I spun to face them. It was there on their faces, the confusion, the obvious understanding that in some way, I was wrong. I was not what I ought to have been.
Only Aric's expression was clear. I marched back to him, my chin raised, and he remained still and relaxed at the tall pillar of my massive and unsoiled bed. He saw right through me, I realized. Any orders given were only tests to see if I could withstand them.
"Take control," I whispered to him, the warmth of his side radiating against me. Perhaps he could make something of this night when I could not.
Aric raised a pale eyebrow. "And force you?"
"Aric," Owen snapped as Wendell gasped.
I raised my hand to quiet them. "Yes," I said to Aric. And then I pretended we were alone and there was no one else to hear the words that followed in a whisper. "I can't do it myself."
Aric straightened. I only came to his chin, and he was broad right down to his hips—not as much as Owen, but there was something even more menacing about the man in front of me. He was not noble at all as I'd imagined him like a book character. There was steel in him, but it was more likely to cut me than protect me.
He reached to pinch my jaw between strong thick fingers, eyes flicking back and forth over mine as his head lowered. I braced myself. I didn't imagine he would be as gentle as Owen or Cosmo. I hoped he wouldn't because if he was tentative, I might find it possible to run away again. I hoped he was fast and efficient, and when he was done, I would be able to stomach the others too.
Aric's forehead rested against me and his lips skimmed mine, and I let out a shuddering sigh as I understood what he would say next.
"I will not." I whimpered and squeezed my eyes shut as he continued, "Neither will any of the others. And if you have it in mind to try your luck with the men outside, we'll bar the door."
Then I've failed, I thought, and the sobs came shattering out of my chest, cutting their way up my throat like shards of glass.