No, that was tears.
Ollan escorted the mark-maker out, and when he turned back to look at me, I couldn’t contain them.
“You’ve been so kind to me,” I managed as he hovered over me.
“My lady,” Ollan said. “It is nothing. You deserve all the kindness I could possibly give. You are my lord’s beloved.”
I wanted to laugh at that, because I wasn’t. He didn’t know, but I wasn’t Kassian’s beloved. Kassian didn’t even want to be married to me. He was gone because of me.
“It’s a shock, this transition,” Ollan said. “I know it is. You’re bound to feel all kinds of things.”
“Y-yes.” I drew a deep breath. “It’s a shock. That’s right.”
“One day, you’re a Chosen, with no idea what your future might hold, and the next, practically a princess.” Ollan made a grand gesture with his arms. His mouth tipped upward, coaxing me to smile at my good fortune.
Was that what he thought? That I was overwhelmed because of the finery? Because I never expected to be so lucky?
I offered him a weak smile.
“Not everyone likes me,” I said. “Lots of people were angered by the way I…”
Ollan made a dismissive sound in the back of his throat. “And how many people do you think dislike Lord Vixor? You’ll never please everyone, and those who act decisively and with courage and conviction will make enemies, always. You cannot judge yourself based on that. Lord Vixor certainly has his enemies, but he’s never let that stop him. You shouldn’t let it stop you, either.”
“I’m usually stronger than this,” I said with a low laugh. “I’ve stabbed treecrawlers through the heart. I defeated Kryf.”
“You did,” Ollan said with a measure of pride in his voice. “You are clever, and strong, and resourceful, and bold. A perfect match for Lord Vixor. I’m proud to call you my lady.”
His words soothed and humbled me. “Thank you, Ollan. For everything. You’ve been truly kind to me.”
Ollan squeezed my hand, and for the blink of an eye, I almost forgot he was the servant and I the mistress.
“Now,” he said, “rest. You have a few hours before anything else happens. I’ll have lunch sent up.”
But after he was gone, I was too restless to do anything but pace.
I needed to know more about this place than just Vixor Rae’s suite.
I needed to explore the rest of the house.
Now was as good a time as any, I supposed.
When the hallway outside was silent, I opened the door and slipped out.
CHAPTER EIGHT
THE VAST HOUSE of the Silver Wolf contained dozens of floors, all of them paved with glittering black marble and lined with windows that gave jaw-dropping views of the capital city and its famed vertical forests. The furniture was dark and lush, all velvets and furs, and the walls were stripped stone and steel. Windows let in floods of light in the outer rooms, and the inner rooms had the feel of caves, dark and secretive. Everything was spotlessly clean.
I felt like a ghost as I moved alone through the corridors. My footsteps were whisper-silent on the staircases as I ascended spiral upon spiral, and with each revolution of the steps, the knot in my stomach twisted tighter, as if I were a strand of rope winding tight and tighter around a finger. Through slitted windows, I caught glimpses of the forested city.
Many of the doors that lined the long corridors were locked. I tried the knobs shamelessly, for I needed to know the lay of this strange place. I learn to know every exit, every staircase, every way to slip to freedom. The memories of my imprisonment in Mother Shade’s house clung to me like a dark cloak, spurring my feet to move faster as I explored.
I rounded a corner and almost collided with a young man dressed in plain brown clothes.
A servant, by the looks of him.
“Oh,” I gasped, tripping over his boot and stumbling into his chest.
The young man’s arms automatically closed around me, and I found myself staring into a handsome, friendly face with large brown eyes and thick, expressive eyebrows.
“Sorry,” I gasped, trying to disentangle myself.
He didn’t immediately let go, as if he feared I might fall again. His hands were on my waist. He was warm and solid against me.
“Are you all right?” the young man asked. He peered down at me with concern. “I didn’t see you—”
“I didn’t see you—” I said at the same time.
We both stopped. Looked at each other again.
“Please let me go,” I said.
He laughed and released me. When he smiled, he looked wholesome and trustworthy, like he’d just walked inside from a farm. Something inside me tugged with relief as I stepped back.
“I’m so sorry, miss,” he said, turning pink to his ears. “I did not mean to embrace you so, ah, familiarly. I was trying to keep you from stumbling again.” He smiled wider, and something in me bloomed with hope.
A friendly face in this wilderness of shadows and whispers.
The effect was like the sun breaking through storm clouds and shining on my upturned face.
“I’m Jeremiah,” he said. “Again, let me apologize for our collision. I wasn’t expecting a pretty girl to come flying around the corner in this forgotten part of the house.”
Of course, he had no idea who I was. I was still dressed in a servant’s day-off clothing.
“I’m Red,” I offered when one of his brows lifted in expectation of a name following his own introduction.
“Red,” he repeated, and his lips tugged upward. “Let me guess. Short for Scarlet?”
I shook my head.
“Rose?”
“Meredith,” I supplied, smiling.
Jeremiah snapped his fingers. “That was my next guess, of course. Hello, Red-Short-For-Meredith. What brings you to the dullest and most remote corner of Vixor Rae’s ghastly house?”
The corners of my mouth tugged upward against my will. Something about his smile compelled me to return it. “I’m new here. I was exploring. I didn’t mean to disturb you.”
“Lost?” he asked, and glanced around us at the slitted windows and gleaming steel walls that stretched high above us. “I’ll admit, it’s happened to me before too. This place is a cavernous, soulless monument to ego and excess. Like a maze designed to ensnare the helpless.” He lowered his voice. “My personal theory? Rae likes it because it reminds him of his mask.” He grinned.
Bold words for a servant to utter about his master’s home. My heart skipped a beat for his sake. He had no idea that he was speaking to the lady of the house.
This conversation was the first interaction to make me feel ordinary and human in months. I found I was desperate to prolong it.
Jeremiah seemed to notice my hesitation to leave.
“I can show you the way back, or give you a tour of this wing.” He gave me a conspiratorial wink. “Will you be scolded if you don’t attend to your duties for another fifteen minutes?”
“No one will miss me for a while,” I replied. Vague enough that I wasn’t lying to him, strictly speaking.
“Are you certain?” He studied my face. “I don’t want to be responsible for you getting a beating.”