It’d always disturbed me that I would need to be on call to heal so many workers and clients that were being fairly treated. Blood donation shouldn’t weaken even a mortal body if it wasn’t taken to excess. But tonight had not been the first time I’d pulled someone back from death. Or the first time I’d felt like my job was to keep meat from spoiling. The logic of my limited memory told me that this was all the inevitable risk of business, but my intuition had never swallowed it with ease.
Maybe if I remembered more, I would never have allowed it at all.
“It’s what you’re doing that he asked you to stop.” I lifted my fists slowly. “Back off. You’ve had too much blood.” He didn’t seem off balance, but he never did. He could have been riding a silver high, or just the rawness of his hunger, and it’d all look the same from him.
He snarled, hands coming free and knees bending. “No. Why don’t you go do your whimpering somewhere not in my way? I’ve had it with your shit, Ari. I don’t mind putting you in your fucking place.”
The crowd had sunken into stillness, countless glassy eyes attuned to the violence arcing between me and Kadzuhikhan. I ran my gaze over him; the bandages had fallen around his wrists, hands whole and clean. And his sword was nowhere in sight. I could take him. Especially if he was fucked up on silver.
My stance settled into one ready for battle. And I did not break eye contact. “I’m right here, then.”
Fuck him. Fuck him and Umber and the mist, this whole twisted, blood-scented night. Fuck their underhanded reassurance, all the intoxication and confusion. How could I trust any of them? How could I even trust my own senses? Kadzuhikhan stood there, distinctly inhuman in his perfect lack of motion, as if we were sharpening our wills on each other.
Just then, Hei did something else unexpected. The warmth of his fingers slid around my waist. And he held on to me, as if I were the only thing keeping him from being torn away. His breathing was slow and even.
Something in me calmed. I didn’t care what it meant or how sane it made me. I slipped one hand down and took his. And squeezed.
Intention rolled off Kadzuhikhan. But in the next second, the only movement that registered was of his eyes. Glinting down to catch where Hei’s fingers were grasped in mine.
A syrupy smile dripped over his face. The quality of his glare became almost conspiratorial, approving. In the next instant, his posture relaxed.
“All right.” He coughed up another laugh, this one heavy with amusement rather than disdain. “If you’re so dedicated, you can have this one. O passionate youth who will not be denied.”
As if he’d pulled a string, that evoked a ripple of giggles and sneers from the onlookers. But already their attention was breaking away; the charge was fading. Kadzuhikhan winked slyly and shifted back, shadows overtaking him. The disappearance of his scent told me he had cat-stepped away.
And Hei kept holding on to me.
Chapter Three
The scuffle had infused me with energy. My mental fog had cleared, the perfume of sweat and bodies sharp on the air. The space around me seemed more real, more intense. My heart pounded like a drum.
I turned, using my wings to block the now thinning crowd from being able to look directly on Hei. I tried to make my voice as soft as possible. “Are you all right?”
He didn’t look all right. His hand had not disentangled from mine. Gone was the serene, smiling boy I’d met on the Rock, the impossibly still being who’d come to me out of nowhere. So was the angry Hei who’d tried to defend himself. His expression was neither one of fear nor relief. Instead, he radiated a quiet sort of heartbreak. Watching me, lips parted. As if I’d just done something he’d long believed impossible. A faint tear track striped his cheek.
Oh, god. It all came back. The desperation, the theories, the hollow of need in my chest. I was...falling for him. Or infatuated, or maybe just that desperately lonely. Maybe he was lonely too.
He shook his head, shaking slightly. “Why did you do that?”
I swallowed hard. “Well. The same reason I caught you, I suppose. I don’t actually believe it’s a good thing for people to be hurt.” My eyes flicked to the side. “I may be in the minority on that.”
Hei seemed to be breathing heavily. “How did you know where to find me?”
He’d gone from sunny and calm to raw, vulnerable, so quickly that I had no idea how to take it. “I didn’t. Coincidence. I know that guy.” I paused while struggling for something more meaningful to say. “He should not have done that to you.”
I looked back to find his eyes, shimmering and wide. But he wasn’t crying any more than he had. He only stared, helplessly. As if this all meant more to him than I had the ability to see.
The rush of clarity was starting to dull; maybe Hei’s reaction was just more confusing than I was equipped for. I coughed and, slowly, let go of his hand. “Is there somewhere I can escort you to? Somewhere you feel safe?”
It seemed a ridiculous question now.
Hei studied the hand I’d released, fingers slightly curled. He drew a deep breath. “No. But...can you stay with me for a while? Please?”
A weight was settling in my belly, but it brought with it an alien warmth. I couldn’t decide whether it was welcome or not. “Of course. Let’s find some place quieter. I’ll keep an eye out for you, and you can relax.”
So I led him away from the revelers, one wing stretched over him like a shade. It was the least I could do. The absolute fucking least.
As we marked a path into the comforts of darkness, disgust and elation battled within me. The exhilaration lingered—but bitterness was discoloring all my thoughts. Hadn’t I delivered dozens of bright-eyed youths just like Hei to Kadzuhikhan, to Umber, to face exactly what Hei had—with no one to step in and help them? Hadn’t I peacefully drunk down my ignorance, all while Kadzuhikhan was doing this right over my shoulder? Surely, even with all the parts of the world that no longer seemed to matter to me, I had a responsibility to penetrate deception better than this.
How had I let myself not see for so long that the only person in the city I considered a friend was a fucking rapist?
Hei stayed close, as if afraid to step out from the cover of my wing. He had shone so brightly, with bravura and joy, when he’d jumped. I had only known him a day, if I could be said to know him at all. But seeing him so naked and frightened made my guts churn.
I led him, slowly, to one of the darker back streets, where activity was practically nonexistent. It would probably be too difficult to take him higher up in the city for the moment, and he needed a spot to rest. And everyone would be drawn like insects to the drugged aurora of the revelry. We should be able to hide here for a while.