I take a sip and try wrapping my mind around all the events of today, but I can’t find my way through the hopelessness that eats away at me.
Footsteps come down the stairs; it’s Gavi. Looking at the expression on his dark-featured face, I sense his confusion. He stops at that bottom stair and holds the banister with long fingers. Then, he steps down and joins us in the living room.
After my brother settles on the floor next to Anika, I describe what happened to the Steins. Recalling the devastating scene in my mind, I can’t help feelings of disappointment in Henry. Although I know his interference would surely have meant his demise, I still wish he could’ve saved Mae’s father’s life. I know there’s nothing I could’ve done myself, but I’m defeated. I’m useless.
Grabbing one another’s hands, my family takes me from the memories of today. We bow our heads together and pray for Mae and her family. We pray for our people and what is to become of us. We pray for peace.
Chapter 5 – Ferrin
“Thank God, it’s Saturday,” I say, rubbing my hand over Otis’ back. “Because we stayed up way too late last night.” I couldn’t put Estherly’s diary down. Every time I thought that I could stop reading, some other horrible event happened to the poor girl. When I read that Mae’s father was shot, I lost it and bawled. Tears rained down my cheeks while I tried to keep them from landing on the brittle pages of the diary. By the time I got to the part where Estherly went home to her family, I was emotionally drained. I also had to take time dealing with the shock of learning Estherly’s love was a Nazi soldier. How did I miss that from the first diary entry? How could something like that possibly happen? How could a Jewish girl love her enemy? I can’t wait to dive into more of their story and discover all these answers. I’m glad I read ahead of Sam because I’d hate to experience that range of emotions in front of him.
Knowing I owe Sam a reading of the diary, I crawl out of bed and head for my bathroom to freshen up before I go over to his house. After brushing my teeth and my hair, I throw my locks up into a messy bun. It’s not one of those I-cleaned-the-house-and-my-hair-looks-like-a-rat’s-nest messy buns. It’s more like a, “Wow, Ferrin, you didn’t have to get dressed up to bring the diary by,” kind of bun. Plumping my lips, I apply gloss. “Sure, Sam, sure. I wake up like this,” I say to the mirror.
I breathe into the palm of my hand, checking my breath for freshness. Not the best it’s ever smelled. I don’t want to knock Sam out, so I do a deeper cleaning.
Walking back into the bedroom, I get dressed with my eyes on the diary and my thoughts on Estherly.
Even though throughout my life I’ve seen horrific photographs of the Holocaust and read historical accounts of it, reading about the moment when Mae’s father was shot really shook me to my core. And to think of Estherly witnessing it at seventeen years old causes the blood in my veins to turn cold.
Grabbing the diary and making my way over to Sam’s, my muscles tense. Standing in front of Sam’s door, I raise my hand, but fear stops me from knocking. I suck in a deep breath and remember two nights ago, when Sam spent most of the night at my house, reading Estherly’s diary. I try to summon the connection I felt between us and to evoke the courage I need to go through with my plan of crashing Sam’s Saturday morning… and hopefully his afternoon, too.
It works, and I finally knock.
I wait.
I knock again.
The door opens, and angels sing when I find Sam, his hair disheveled, wearing low-hanging, black pajama bottoms. My eyes trace the lines of his abs and the small line of hair leading to his pelvis. The sight turns my insides to Jell-O.
My jaw drops and all that comes out is, “Oh… hum… hum, ahh ha, hum.”
“Hey, ah, what time is it?”
“Ah ha hum,” I mumble.
My gaze shoots to his crotch, and my cheeks warm. Trying to force myself to look into Sam’s eyes, I imagine I look like I may have lost my mind.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
“Umm, ahhh, yeah, ahh.”
“Oh, you have the diary.” His lips curl into a knowing smile.
“Diary. Yes. The diary.” Something about the word “diary” pulls me from focusing on his body, and I look up into his tired, green eyes. “Sam!” I snap out of it. “I know who Henry is!”
“Would you like to come in?”
I nod, probably a bit too anxiously.
Sam swings open the screen door and I step into his craftsman-style home. The first thing I notice is the smell. It’s all Sam. It’s a mixture of fresh-cut wood and his cologne. The house is historic like mine, but Sam has updated the inside. The hardwood floors gleam and it’s not overcrowded with furniture. Enough for a single guy. A couch, a coffee table, an easy chair, and a small entertainment center decorate the living room. His place is void of a woman’s touch, which sends a river of emotions flooding through me. There’s not one trace of a lady in Sam’s life. I already guessed in the past that he was single because I haven’t seen him with any women.
I stop gawking at his home and turn with a smile on my face. “Thanks for inviting me in.”
I missed it before, but from the looks of him, I’m pretty sure I woke him up. Feeling terrible, I ask, “Did I wake you?” while wincing.
“Yeah, but it’s okay. I have to go bid a job today anyway.”
While I’ve lived next to Sam for a couple years, I know very little about him. He owns a contracting business, but his company has done so well that he only goes out on bids and runs the rest of the business from home. I know he stays up late because sometimes when I wake up to use the restroom in the middle of the night, his bedroom window is lit up. Sam doesn’t own a pet, but I’m not sure if that’s because he doesn’t like them or if maybe he’s allergic. Perhaps, he’s too busy with his business to have a pet. I know I wish I could spend more time with Otis.
As Sam ushers me to sit on his couch, I glance around for more clues about his life.
“Would you like coffee? I can put some on.”
“Oh, yeah, I’d love coffee,” I say. I’m sure my eyes got as wide as saucers because coffee is my life juice. If it weren’t for the bitter, heavenly liquid, I’m sure I would’ve been put away after one day of working at TelCom Digital Systems.
“Relax, I’ll go put some on. Be right back.”
As he walks away, I can’t help but admire the fine form of his perfectly shaped butt. My body warms and a little tickle grows in my throat.
I’ve never been one of those women who is confident around men, but Sam sends my awkwardness so far through the roof, it’s like I’m wearing nothing but granny panties around him. I panic a little when I really think about the fact that we seem to be becoming friends… all thanks to Estherly.
My mind wavers from Sam’s butt and recalls what I read last night, and once again I’m over-the-moon with wanting to tell Sam all about it.
“Do you take cream and sugar?” Sam yells from the kitchen.
“Yes, please.”
“Flavored or regular cream?”
If you have it in Sam flavor, I’ll take that.