“Do you know why they tried to take you?”
I shake my head.
“No.” I look to my father. His head is in his hands, and his body is shaking. It looks like he’s crying.“Daddy?”
“Look at me, Jaxon, not your father,” the man orders.
I shuffle forward on my chair.
“But he’s upset,” I respond.
“No, it’s relief because he can finally stop running and enjoy eternity with your mother.”
“Huh?” I look at the man likes he’s stupid. This man speaks in riddles, and I don’t really understand very much of what he’s saying.
“Your mama and daddy fell in love when they shouldn’t have. There are rules to follow in our way of life. Your mama should have married someone else, but she ran away with your father instead, and they had you. The circumstances of your birth have made you a target. There are those who fear the power you could wield in the mafia world if you learned the full story of your ancestors.”
“Me?” I point at myself. “I’m ten years old. I’ve got no strength or power to wield in any worlds. I can’t even make myself dinner.”
The man laughs. “Maybe not now, but you could do. You could wield a power so great many will seek to extinguish it. It’s why you have to come and live with me now. I’m the only one able to protect you.”
“What about my mama and daddy?”
It’s the man’s turn to lower his head, and he steps aside for my father to come to me.
“I need to return to the place of my birth, Jaxon, and take your mama’s bod… and take your mama with me. I’ve pledged your future to the Yi Shu. You’ll be one of them for life and will have no claim to any allegiances elsewhere. It’s the only way for you to stay alive and protected. It will prevent bad men chasing you to the ends of the earth until you’re dead.”
“I-I don’t want to die,” I stammer out, scared by everyone talking about me dying.
“If you stay here with Gaozu, you’ll be safe. He’s a good man, Jaxon. I know all this must seem so scary, at the moment, but I promise he’ll look after you as his own. You’re special to him not just to me and your mama. Will you do this for us, Jaxon, stay here and learn?”
I look to where the man, my father keeps calling Gaozu, is standing. My father is right—everything does seem terrifying, but there’s something within me telling me I need to stay here. My parents are doing this to protect me, to save me from something dangerous. I feel tears pricking in my eyes. Until this moment, I was a boy, but the question I’m about to ask makes me a man. My future will be mapped out for eternity…a life owed.
“Is my mama dead?” My voice is timid in the room. It cracks and breaks.
My father tries to keep his face void of emotion, but even at ten, I can tell he’s heartbroken.
“Yes, son, and I will be joining her soon.”
I want to shout ‘no’, he has to stay and look after me, he’s my father, but I can’t. Even at my young age , I can tell he’s a dead man walking already. There’s no light behind his eyes, only a need to know I’m safe from harm.
Taking a deep breath, I get up from my chair, and walking over to Gaozu, I kneel at his feet and say, “I pledge myself to you, always and forever.”
I turn back to my father who nods at me proudly before getting to his feet and bowing to us both. He turns around, and without a backward glance, he leaves the room. It’s the last time I ever see him.
I wake up with a start. I haven’t had that particular dream in ages. I hate it. The memories sicken me because I can’t right the wrongs done to my parents. I found out several years later my mother was a mafia princess. She’d been destined to give birth to the future heirs of a faction in Sweden, but her love affair with my father put a stop to that. He was one of her guards, a nobody, no-one of power, and he and my mother married in secret. When I was born, I was hidden away, but eventually my grandparents found out what had happened, and my parents and I fled to New York with a death sentence over our heads.
When they attempted to kidnap me from the school, it was with the intention of killing me. The new heir to the family wanted all loose ends tied up. When I pledged myself to the Yi Shu, I lost all claim to my mother’s ancestry, and in doing so, I made myself safe. My mother and father were not so lucky, though. Their death sentences would have always remained in place because of their betrayals.
One day, I’ll get revenge, but for now, I’ll serve Gaozu. My father was right about him—he not only saved my life and protected me, he also taught me morals and showed me love when I thought I’d lost everything. He became my new father in many ways, and I’ll remain loyal to him until the day I die.
“I’m worried about Lia. She’s so headstrong and determined to take your place. She was planning to disguise herself and join the Yi Shu as a man.” I listen at the bedroom door as my mother talks with my father. They think I’m in bed asleep, but I couldn’t even if I tried. I know my father won’t let me go, which is why I’m leaving now, in the darkness of the night.
“I know. I have spoken to her and reminded her of her duty. She is a skilled fighter, but she is no match for the battle hardened soldiers of the Jīn Long—they’d kill her, and if our people found out about her disguise, they’d execute her. I’m going to leave before she wakes so she can’t be tempted to do something we’ll all regret.”
“Why does this have to happen now?” My mother sobs, and I imagine my father holding her against his chest, stroking her head in comfort.
“We’ve always known this could happen. We have to obey the rules.”
“To hell with the rules. They can’t take you from me.”
“You know I have to go. Come here—let’s be together one final time. I’ve got a few more hours before I need to leave.”
I walk away from my parents’ door, a piece of paper trembling in my hands. It’s the note I’ve written, explaining everything and telling them I intend to bring honor to our family. I truly believe this is my destiny.
I place the note on the kitchen table and sneak down to the basement where I collect my father’s sword before going back up to our main living quarters. Picking up the small bag of clothes and various other items I prepared earlier, I take one final look around the house.
“I promise I’ll make you proud,” I whisper into the air and quietly sneak out of the house.
My hands are shaking, and I nearly drop everything in my hurry to get away but manage to escape my area of Chinatown without being spotted. I find the nearest public toilet, not a pleasant experience as they aren’t cleaned until first thing in the morning, and change into my disguise. I wrap a bandage around my upper torso to flatten my small breasts before donning the unisex pants and shirt I usually wear when sparring with my father. My face is clear of any makeup, but with my long hair, I still look like a girl. I search through the bag for scissors, knowing I brought a pair with me. Eventually, I find them at the bottom where they’ve fallen, and pulling them out, I stand in front of the mirror and stare at my reflection.