1
Aurora
I should have handled that better. Henry and I had a beautiful night where we made amends. We made promises and yet when I went to see my father, it all went out of the window. It’s as if none of that ever happened. At least, that’s what he must think but it’s not true.
I love him as much as I ever loved him. He is the only man who will forever have my heart and he is the one man who should never worry about whether or not he is the one.
Yet, here I am, about to walk down the aisle and marry someone else.
I owe him an explanation. I know that.
Of course I do.
Yet, I’m afraid that if I were to see him, then I couldn’t go through with this.
The following morning, I get ready as if I’m getting ready for war. My makeup and my wedding dress are my armor and this marriage is a battle that I have to win. I sit in front of the vanity for a long time, completely alone, steadying myself for what is about to come.
For most brides, this is the happiest moment in their lives but not for me. I don’t know what to expect but I know that it won’t be good.
The one thing that I know for sure is that I am no longer just doing it for my father. I’m doing it for all of those people who worked for Tate Media.
They deserve better.
I need to be able to save their retirements.
I need to be able to protect the company that is rightfully mine.
When my mom comes in, I tell her that I need some time alone. I don’t want to see anyone. I want to do this entirely myself. I even kick out the photographer.
I put on some music and carefully apply a layer of foundation followed by winged eyeliner and a coat of mascara. When tears start to well up and a big gulp forms at the back of my throat, I take a few deep breaths to push the pain away.
My thoughts return to Henry.
This should be him who I am marrying. I think back to his dark hair and his beautiful wide eyes.
I imagine him standing at the end of the aisle, waiting for me to walk into his arms. I imagine what it would be like to spend the rest of my life with him and I know that I would be very happy.
I remember what it was like the last time that he held me in his arms and how safe and protected I felt. I want him to protect me now, but I don’t think that he can. I have already put his life in danger just by telling him what I told him and I don’t want to make things worse.
“Get a hold of yourself,” I say out loud while tears stream down my cheeks and my mascara makes black puddles around my eyes.
For a moment I let myself go.
If I keep it in too much and if I hide my feelings away from me, then I’m afraid that they will come out at the worst possible time, like during the wedding.
“No. Cry now and then get a hold of yourself,” I say.
The tears that started out as little pearls have morphed into thick wide drops that cover my face and neck.
I thought it would be easier to stop if I got everything out of my system but somehow the floodgates have opened and now my emotions are completely uncontrollable.
“What are you doing?” Ellis says, after bursting into the room.
The photographer is close behind her.
I try to wipe my face but it’s all to no avail.
“Don’t you know that you can’t cry like that? It’s going to make your face all puffy and red. No amount of makeup is going to be able to cover it up. Do you want to look terrible in your wedding pictures?”
“Well, that would at least be an accurate portrayal,” I say sarcastically.
She applies some ice from her glass to my eyes.
“I don’t know why you’re so upset with this,” Ellis says. “He is the most eligible bachelor in New York and he’s actually interested in marrying you.”
“Well, thanks for that,” I mumble.
“No. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Well, you know what I mean.”
“No, actually I don’t.”
“My parents run one of the biggest media empires in the world and I’m supposed to be…”
My voice trails just as I realize that she doesn’t know that I am being coerced into this marriage. “What are you saying exactly?” I turn toward her. “That I don’t deserve him?”
“Of course not. I’m just saying that he’s a great catch and you are lucky to have him. You are both lucky to have each other.” Ellis corrects herself.
I don’t believe her and frankly, I wish she wasn’t here but it would’ve been more complicated not to invite her since I have known her since I was in school.
The only person that I want to see right now besides Henry is Karlie, the girl that I met at the bridal shop. She’d turned out to be an old friend of mine from middle school. We reconnected and we told each other some truths, the kind that I could never tell Ellis or any of my other friends.
I invited her to the wedding and she said that she would come but the last time we talked I got the sense that she knew something was off with my relationship with Franklin.
No one but Henry knows the truth about why I’m doing this and even he only knows a portion. After our night together, I was so certain that I would be able to talk to my father and convince him that I did not have to do this.
Little did I know that my father would drop a bombshell into my lap. His life is in danger and the only way he will be safe is for me to marry Franklin, the only man that can protect him.
I went over there trying to get out and I only got myself further in.
“Okay,” Ellis says, taking a step away from me. “I think that you’re ready now.”
She turns my chair around and I look at myself in the mirror. She did a good job. The tears are gone and so is the darkness under my eyes. Even the puffiness has disappeared.
I look beautiful but incredibly sad. I force a smile but that seems to only draw attention to the sorrow in my eyes.
2
Aurora
Ellis turns her attention to my hair. I was going to do this myself but I’m afraid that if I were to be alone again, I wouldn’t be able to stop the tears.
It’s good to have her here; she’s a distraction that I desperately need.
Ellis talks about the guy that she’s seeing and I’m not following along. He’s one in a long line and I’m sure that there will be others after him.
“I think that I’m going to marry him,” she says.
I look up at her and raise my eyebrows.
“Really?” I ask, surprised.
“I love him, well, as much as I can love anyone. He’s not a Birkin bag, you know.” She laughs and I laugh.
She says that she’s just kidding but we both know that she’s not.
“What makes you say that?” I ask.
“Well, I like spending time with him. He’s smart, charming, runs in the same social circle.”
“But are you in love with him?” I ask.
“What does that matter?”
“Isn’t that the reason to get married?”
“I don’t know, Aurora, is it?” she asks me.
I narrow my eyes trying to figure out what she does or doesn’t know.
“What are you referring to?”