Like her mother, she’s impeccably dressed, wearing a fuzzy pink sweater, her hair pulled back in a matching scrunchie. She gives me a polite smile, as if excusing herself, before she slips on her rose gold headphones and picks up the iPad.
I look at Rebecca, who, much like me, would never be caught dead in pink, even though I love her daughter’s whole aesthetic. Right now she’s wearing a fitted grey sweater with lace details at the shoulders, a black velvet choker around her neck, a grey beret sitting jauntily atop her sleek bob. As usual I feel like a total schlub around her, even though I’m wearing black skinny jeans and a long teal sweater underneath my leather jacket, which I shrug off onto the seat beside me.
“You’re looking lovely,” Rebecca says to me as she slides over a menu.
“Oh. Thanks,” I tell her, hastily pushing my hair behind my ears, looking over the menu even though I already know what I’m going to get.
“No, really,” she says, and I look up to see her studying my face. “New makeup or skincare routine?”
I shrug. “No.”
“You’re all dewy and fresh-faced. Like, I would bloody kill for that highlighter.”
I pull my sleeves down over my hands, fidgeting at the compliments. “No highlighter. I don’t know what it is. I haven’t been doing anything differently.”
She pauses and then looks over at Lucinda who is humming to herself, playing a game. She leans in, folding her red-shellacked nails in front of her, and gives me a fixed look. “How are you and Dex doing?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean how are you doing? How is your relationship?”
I squint at her, not sure what she’s getting at. “I just talked to my shrink about this. You want to hear the same thing I told her?”
“You have the look of someone who just had a bloody good shag.” Her eyes dance. “That’s all.”
My eyes go wide and I quickly look at Lucinda, who thankfully isn’t paying us any attention.
“Oh, don’t worry about her. She can’t hear us,” Rebecca says, her red lips twisting into a smirk. “But you did, didn’t you? That’s what it is. I can always tell, especially since I’m not getting any. I have a sixth sense for it, which is quite unfortunate.”
My mind reels back to yesterday, how utterly insatiable and dominant he was with me, like he’s been a lot lately.
But I don’t talk about my sex life with Rebecca, much to her disappointment, and I’m not about to start now. “Things are good,” I tell her, smiling with relief at the waitress who comes by to take our orders, interrupting the awkward talk.
After we’ve decided on a bottle of white wine, as well as pasta for ourselves, Rebecca orders a slice of cake for Lucinda.
“Cake for lunch?” I question.
“It’s my trick for getting her to behave in restaurants,” Rebecca informs me. “I make sure she eats before we go out, that way she’s full and happy and the dessert is a nice treat.”
“I’ll have to remember that,” I tell her, reaching for the bottle of Pellegrino in the middle of the table. I catch her eye and she gives me a funny look.
“What?” I ask, unscrewing the cap and pouring some in my glass, then doing the same to hers.
“I think this is the first time I’ve heard you allude to having children.”
I busy myself with the mineral water and have a sip, shrugging lightly. “I’m sure I’ve done some alluding in the past.”
She shakes her head. “No. You haven’t. You’re always so cagey about it.”
I swallow, rubbing my lips together as I try to figure out whether to talk to Rebecca about this. She’s my friend, not my psychologist, so I should feel comfortable confiding in her. I guess what’s holding me back is the fact that she’s Dex’s good friend too, perhaps more so than mine, and since he doesn’t know how I feel, I don’t want to burden her with a secret.
“Perry,” she says gently, putting her hand over mine and giving it a light squeeze, her dark eyes prodding me. Then she suddenly gasps and slaps her fingers on the back of my hand. “Bloody hell. You’re pregnant!”
I literally spit out my drink in an arcing spray across the table. My eyes water, I have bubbles up my nose, and, yep, now I’m coughing loudly, the whole restaurant turning to look. I grab for my napkin, pressing it to my mouth, shaking my head at Rebecca, while Lucinda giggles loudly at my outburst.
Rebecca dabs a napkin at her face in amusement, but I’m quick to shoot her down when I can. “No. Sorry. But no. Not pregnant.”
“Could account for why you’re all glowy.”
“That’s the sex, okay?”
“Hmmph. Well, I was right about something, then.”
The waitress comes back with the bottle of white wine and pours us each a glass. Rebecca raises hers in a toast, smiling at me. “Regardless, here’s a toast to the birthday girl.”
“That’s not for another couple days,” I remind her, raising mine.
“Yes, but you’re not spending it with us, you’re going to be with your family. Oh, and this meal is just part of your present. I’ll get the rest to you later.”
“You don’t have to get me anything,” I protest.
“Of course I do. I’m your friend, Perry. That’s what friends do.” She takes a sip of wine, her lipstick leaving behind a crimson stain. Her eyes go back in her head for a moment. “God, this wine is brilliant.”
She’s right. It’s delicious. We have a bad habit of drinking two bottles of wine between us on our lunch dates and getting totally day-wasted. Lucinda is the saving grace today, I hope.
“I’m not pregnant,” I assure Rebecca again, my voice low. I bite my lip for a moment, about to take the plunge. “But…”
“But?” Her brows arch.
“Well…maybe it’s a little ironic that it was over lunch that we first discussed me getting an IUD and now I’m talking to you about getting it…out.”
She blinks at me. “You’re what?”
“I want it out. I want to start a family. I want a baby.” I don’t know why it sounds both immature when I say it, my voice shaking and everything, as well as incredibly right, but it does.
“You’re kidding me!” she exclaims. “What? Really?” I nod and she claps her hands together gleefully. “Yay! Perry. Oh my god, no wonder you’re having all the sex. What has Dex said? He must be over the moon!”
“Uh, well,” I say, taking a quick sip of wine to steady my nerves. “He doesn’t exactly know.”
“What? He doesn’t know?”
I nod. “No. Only you and Dr. Leivo. And you have to promise me you won’t tell him.”
Her mouth drops open. “You can’t do that to me!”
“You have to promise, Rebecca. I’m going to let him know when I’m ready to let him know, so for now, just keep it to yourself.”
She crosses her arms and makes a huffing sound. “Well, that’s rubbish. Why am I always caught in the middle of you guys with all your secrets? You know how hard it was to pretend he wasn’t going to propose to you? And now I have to pretend that you don’t want to have babies.” Her features soften and she sighs, giving me a weepy face. “Oh, Perry, you’re going to have babies. Beautiful little babies. God, I hope they get all of your personality.”