“No,” I smiled. “One of mine.”
He didn’t seem to have an answer for that. He just remained standing where he was, surprise cracking the mask that was his face. When he finally got to his senses, he breathed out audibly and then offered me his hand. “Fair enough, Alex,” he said. “I’ll get out of your hair then. Keep up the good work.”
“See you around, Neil,” I offered, my heart tightening into a fist as I saw him turn to leave. For a split second, I thought of reaching out to stop him. Maybe Neil was different. Maybe, just maybe, there was a man underneath his charismatic facade that saw me as something more than just a toy. Maybe I could take a chance with him.
God knew I wanted to do that.
Of course, sanity prevailed and I did nothing.
“Wasn’t that Neil?” I heard someone say right behind me, and I almost jumped to the ceiling, instinctively holding one hand up to my heart. Turning around on my heels, I found Monsieur looking at me with an amused smile on his face.
“You scared the hell out of me,” I laughed. “I didn’t know sneaking up on people was part of your skillset.”
“I have many skills,” he merely declared in that dryly amused tone of his. “What was Neil doing here?” I was about to answer when he held one hand up in the air, cutting me short. “He came to ask you out, didn’t he?”
“Yeah, he kinda did,” I admitted, scratching the back of my head as I said it. “I told him no, of course. He’s a Patron, and I’m the club’s recruiter…it wouldn’t be—”
“Proper?” Monsieur finished for me. He pursed his lips, his gaze turning contemplative, and waited a few seconds before continuing. “That’s nonsense, and you know it. There’s nothing forbidding you from pursuing a relationship with whomever you want, Alex. But you already know that, don’t you?” And, just like that, his smile returned.
“Yeah, I know that,” I breathed out. “It’s just that…” I trailed off, unsure on what to say. As much as I trusted Monsieur, the past wasn’t exactly something I felt comfortable discussing out loud. More than just that, the past was something I didn’t want to think about: I worked hard every single minute of every single day just so I didn’t have any time to dwell on it.
“You should start looking forward, instead of backwards,” he continued, as if he somehow could read my mind. Laying one hand on my shoulder, he then looked straight into my eyes. “I know it might not be easy, but you ought to give that a try. Besides, Neil’s a good man. He would be a wonderful candidate for your affections.”
I opened my mouth to say something, but closed it right after. I must’ve looked like a fish desperate for water, because Monsieur simply gave me a curt nod and slapped my back amicably. “It’s up to you, of course,” he continued, already heading down the corridor and toward his office. “But think about it.”
“I will,” I whispered, more to myself than to Monsieur. Only when I heard the lock on his office door click back into place did I realize I was holding my breath. I exhaled sharply and raked one hand over my face.
Neil Macdonough.
Could I really…?
“No,” I said out loud. “Not now.”
With the additional duties I had started taking on at the club, my plate was already full as it was. The last thing I needed was to deal with a suitor on top of all that. Besides, the upcoming gala, the once-a-year prestigious event hosted by the club, was drawing close. Monsieur was counting on me to make it happen without a hitch, and I wasn’t about to let him down.
Besides, I was past having relationships as the foundation of my self-worth. Sure, I got lonely at times, but I filled that hole inside myself with the knowledge that my career was being polished to a bright shine. A job well done was something that allowed me to face my own reflection in the mirror, and I wasn’t about to get distracted just because the odd Patron had taken a liking to me.
Except, of course, Neil wasn’t just the odd Patron. Despite his money and social standing as a doctor, he seemed as much of an outsider as I was. Even though his fame and insistence on wearing a kilt always ensured he was the center of attentions, he didn’t seem to crave any of that.
He was used to the perks of his success, yes, but he always seemed slightly uncomfortable whenever others started laying their praise on him, and he seemed to prefer the company of the club employees than that of the Patrons. I couldn’t count the times I had found him in deep conversation with some waiter or bartender, all while the Patrons were busy with a game of one-upmanship. Maybe that was why Monsieur had taken a liking to the Neil.
Christ, was I really trying to convince myself that going on a date with Neil was okay? Because it most definitely wasn’t. My priority was the club, and I wouldn’t allow anything to slow me down.
Business before pleasure. That was always a good excuse. But the problem was exactly that, wasn’t it? In the end, I was too painfully aware that it was nothing more than that…
An excuse.
5
Neil
I didn’t see that one coming.
Even as I walked out of the building and into the street, Alex’s words still echoed inside my head. I don’t date Patrons. And while that was a valid reason to reject me, it did nothing to change the fact that the word ‘rejection’ had somehow become involved. Unfortunately, that was exactly the kind of word I had never grown accustomed to.
Most times, that wasn’t a problem. Being a doctor had its perks, and being a renowned one only expounded on that. My talent was the key that unlocked any door I wanted, and my personality pretty much did the rest. Sure, that was a conceited way of looking at things…but, then again, I would’ve never become the man I am if humility had been my go-to tool.
“It’s a bit early for you to be at the club, Neil!” someone said behind me, and I immediately let a smile take over my lips as I turned around. Christopher Tamsin stood on the sidewalk, both hands in the pockets of his tailored suit as he faced me. His roguish smile added to his Hollywood looks, something that I was convinced to be a part of Tamsin’s success when it came to close deals. One of the best corporate lawyers in the city, the man’s looks seemed to match his charisma and aggressiveness in the boardroom.
“I just forgot something here yesterday,” I lied, not even knowing why I was doing it. Was it so hard to accept that I had been rejected? Apparently, it was. “Which reminds me…I didn’t see you yesterday at the event.”
“I was clinching a last-minute deal,” he said off-handedly. “There’s a big merger going down, and my firm is handling it.”
“Has anybody ever told you work too damn much?”
“As many times as you’ve heard that line, I’m sure,” he laughed. “You’re the king of workaholics, Neil. In that arena, you have me beat.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure,” I continued, enjoying the way our conversation unfolded. Even if we went for months without seeing the other, whenever we met it was if we had only been apart for hours. Not that it was unexpected—we had been friends for years, after all. “Anyway, what are you doing here? The club isn’t exactly open now.”