1
Neil
It was half past five when Monsieur knocked on my office door. I let him in with a quick smile, and I found his hand gripping mine a second later. “Never late, are you? It’s good to see you, Monsieur.”
“Likewise, Neil.” Running his fingers down his tie, an attempt to smooth any wrinkles out of the fabric, he strode across the length of my office as I gestured toward the chair in front of my desk.
“No more Mr. Macdonough?” I casually asked him, smiling as I took my own seat.
“I’ve given up on that,” Monsieur smiled back at me. His posture was faultless, his back straight and his chin held high, but it seemed like he couldn’t resist running his fingers over the length of his tie once more. “I’m tired of having you correcting me.”
Leaning in his chair, he finally folded his hands together. Was he trying to stop himself from fidgeting with his tie? That was odd—Monsieur wasn’t exactly the kind of man to get restless. I had always known him as someone in perfect control of himself and that, coupled with the way he conducted himself at all times, gave him airs of a man of unshakeable character. “You must be wondering why I’ve come to see you, Neil.”
“Would I be wrong to say you came here because you’re looking for a second opinion on something?” I tried, feeling pretty confident that I was right. Monsieur’s doctor was a competent professional in his own right, and a visit to Riverside Urology could only mean that Monsieur needed my personal opinion on something.
“It’s unsettling how you manage to see through people,” he said, an amused smile spreading across his lips. Folding his legs, both hands resting on his lap, he took what I could only classify as a deep breath. He kept his eyes on mine, almost as if showing me he could see through people even better than I could.
“My ex-husband used to say the same,” I chuckled. Drumming my fingers against the desk’s surface, I returned Monsieur’s smile. “Although he was more profane about the way he explained it, I’ll admit.”
“I can believe that.” Reaching into his briefcase, he grabbed a beige envelope from inside it and placed it face down on the table, sliding it toward me. Looking away from Monsieur, I stared at the envelope sitting on my desk and hesitantly reached for it. “The symptoms started a few weeks ago. I went to see my doctor and, after finding nothing wrong with me, he then told me to do some bloodwork.”
“I see,” I muttered, holding the results in my hands. I quickly scanned its contents and held my breath for a moment, realizing exactly why Monsieur had come to see me.
“After looking at the results, he thinks I might have—”
“Cancer,” I said, my eyes locking on his. “Prostate cancer, to be more precise. This exam here tests for the level of prostate-specific antigens, and yours...it’s quite high.”
“No need to be dancing around the subject, Neil. You’ve known me for a long time now. Besides, my doctor has already been pretty upfront about it. He didn’t sugarcoat anything, that much I can tell you. I just need to hear a second opinion. So, tell me…” He hesitated for a slight moment, gathering enough courage to ask the question he needed to ask, and ran his tongue over his lips. “Is it cancer?”
“There’s a high chance it is cancer, yes,” I replied, doing exactly what he had asked of me and doing away with all the niceties. Besides, experience taught me that patients preferred when doctors were upfront about life-or-death matters. “According to your medical history here, your symptoms and the PSA results pretty much indicate cancer. But I can’t be sure without further exams.”
“In the end, there’s no escaping it, huh?” He asked me, his tone of voice even and controlled.
“No cure for death yet, that’s right,” I nodded. Propping my elbows up on the desk, I then leaned forward and offered a smile. “But we don’t need to be that dramatic about things. I’ll have you do an MRI so that we can be absolutely sure of what we’re dealing with, and we’ll go from there.”
“Thank you, Neil.” Rising from his chair, he offered me his hand. I took it in mine, shook it, and nodded reassuringly.
“Whatever it is, I don’t want you to worry,” I said. “You came to the right place.”
“Of course I did,” he said. “You’re one of the finest doctors in the whole damn country, Neil, so I knew exactly who I needed to go to with this.”
“I’ve worked hard for this office, that’s true.”
“Sometimes too hard,” Monsieur quickly continued, his eyes coming alive with a spark of curiosity. He scanned the wall behind my desk, taking in my university diploma and the countless new certificates that had started to accumulate there, and then returned his gaze to me. “You haven’t been to the club in weeks.”
“It’s hard leaving this place,” I replied, gesturing toward the four walls around us. Light shone through the large windows right behind me, bathing the whole room with the warm orange of a setting sun, and it made the office look more like a living room than an actual doctor’s office. “Although, granted, it’s been far too long since I’ve visited.”
“On that, we can agree.”
“But I promise you,” I said, “I’ll be there for the next event.”
“If you don’t show up, I’ll come here and drag you to the club myself.” With a glint in his eyes, he gave me one final nod and, after pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, finally turned around to leave. With one hand on the door handle, he paused and looked back at me over his shoulder. “And thank you for this, Neil. I appreciate it.”
“Don’t mention it.”
I remained standing for a few seconds, trying to wrap my head around Monsieur’s situation. It was weird to think of a man like him being affected by something as banal and mundane like cancer but, of course, a disease like that doesn’t care about one’s character and social standing. It just comes demanding everything there is to give and, most times, it usually gets it.
Sitting back down, I leaned back in my seat and propped my feet up on the desk. What would happen to the club if Monsieur had cancer? Would the place, a safe haven for people like me, survive without such a man at its helm? I had my doubts about it.
“Not going there,” I said out loud, booting my computer up so I could review some cases files before the next day’s surgeries. If Monsieur had cancer, worrying about it wouldn’t help. We’d wait for the MRI and, if necessary, go for a biopsy. And if it was really cancer...well, then I’d deal with it.
Not before.
By the time I was done with my case files, the sun had already dipped below the horizon and the sky, vast and blue just a few hours ago, was now a dark canvas sprinkled with small bright points. I checked my wristwatch and, unsurprisingly, noticed that the hand marking the hours had already sailed past midnight a long time ago.
Sighing, I folded my hands behind my head and wondered if I should merely continue in the office or head home. Iris and Idina, my young daughters, seemed to be staring at me from the picture I had on my desk, but they were spending the week with my ex-husband. There was no one at home waiting for me. Even though I had a family, I was slowly becoming a lonely man whose sole mistress was his work.