“Mia….” she croaks again, and I realize that her speech is even worse now and she’s straining herself to speak. “Co…mmme…he…re.”
“I think she needs some time with you,” John says, a sad smile on his face but he can’t look me in the eyes. “I’ll be in my office if you need me.”
If I need him? Is he out of his insane, sadistic mind?
I can’t even look at him as he passes me to leave, all I can do is just stare, unblinkingly, daring myself not to move because if I do… I have no idea what I’ll do.
My God, she looks horrible, like death warmed over.
I stand there, dead silent not knowing what to say.
John and Nancy?
What the hell is going on here?
Unease, distress, and betrayal grip me by the throat as I stare blankly at the woman I thought would be the most reliable out of the bunch, but this?
“What did you do?” I accuse, my voice a hot whisper as I stare at her pale, bony face, seeing her sunken eyes, death hovering over her, but I ignore that, too livid and in shock to stop being selfish and stupid.
Her hands start shaking, her gaze frantic as she looks at me and I know she can’t breathe properly, but I don’t care right now.
“Why was that man touching you like that?” I question, feeling sick to my stomach. “How long has this been going on?”
She doesn’t answer, of course she doesn’t. It took every ounce of her strength to say my name just now since she’s in the final stages of ALS.
Somewhere at the back of my mind I know that she’s not well, but rationality and compassion jumped out the window the moment I spoke to Courtney.
The machines in the room start beeping faster, but I’m too far gone, repeating the same questions to a dying woman.
Looking back to this moment, I should’ve paid attention to the change that was happening in front of me. I should’ve put my anger aside. I should’ve…
A thought enters my mind as I look down at her, ignoring the machines. “Did he force himself into your bed?”
Her eyes widen in horror and her body starts shaking even harder, but it makes sense. John Fitzgerald has been after destroying my family for years. Revenge in this family, I’ve learned, touches everyone. It’s profound and sinister. I mean look at me, I allowed Julian to use my body like his favorite disposable sex toy.
“Oh God, he got to you, didn’t he?” I choke the words out.
A sheen of sweat coats my body as I start to tremble. I look around, but the walls of the room are closing in on me, it feels like the ground below me is shaking, rumbling, and I can’t hold on any longer.
Like I’m having an out of body experience, I watch Nancy struggle in her bed. She starts gasping for breath, her eyes wild as they look to me, but I can’t react. It feels like I’m shutting down as everything floods back to me in clear precision.
John managed to fuck over Nathan in the most cruel way possible. Was that because of me or was there more going on? He got to him, destroyed his career and then, he got to Nicky under false pretenses of love and proposed to marry her but now this?
Possibilities and scenarios start playing out in my head as the woman I’ve recognized as my mother all my life struggles to catch a breath.
All I can think is, was this calamity all a part of John’s plan all along?
Did he plan for me to see him with Nancy like that?
Why is a grown man like him hurting me like this? Or is he doing it for his sons?
The level of cruelty in all this, Julian definitely has a part in this, doesn’t he? Because my God, if he wanted to break me like he said he would weeks ago, then he’s totally succeeded.
I think back to the way John welcomed us into his large mansion with what I now realize was a fake, sly smile on his handsome face, while his son watched from afar.
They had us all where they wanted us and then they took calculated steps to control and manipulate our lives.
I think back to the way John had Nicky hanging on to his every word. But then, there was something different about the way he was looking down at Nancy just now like she meant the world to him, and the way Nancy didn’t protest at all when I told her where we were going to live.
As for me, John didn’t have to deal with me directly. He sent his sons for that.
A powerful frisson of unease moves through my system and I start clawing at my chest again, my nails scratching at the skin there.
I can’t breathe.
“Mm…” Nancy stutters, anguish in her broken whisper, matching the regret in her eyes, but I just stare back at her, feeling blank, empty, and weak.
Something is seriously wrong here, but I can’t move.
Julian used me.
Liam played me.
Cole helped the brotherly cause.
Did John tell his sons to infiltrate my life, get to know me then when the time came, they were to rip me apart?
“Oh God,” I gasp, as unbridled pain shoots through my chest. Tears sting my eyes as I think of the day Liam seemed to accept me at the hospital. Was he playing me then? “This can’t be happening.”
“I…” Nancy stutters. “Mm…” Her voice is strained, hoarse from not being used. Her body is shaking in the bed, but I just watch.
The loud sounds in the room become shrill, louder, angrier but I feel like I’m sinking down in quicksand. Everything sounds and looks unattainable to me now, so far out of reach.
Then, our gazes lock and hold. Like the calm before a storm, I watch as Nancy’s body calms down before my eyes. She stops moving, her gaze on me with her eyes wide and in that moment, something happens.
This is the last time I’ll ever stare into her eyes.
“No,” I gasp as I look at her. I don’t know how I know this, but as I stare at the woman who raised me with so much love and care, sass and empowerment, something settles in the pit of my stomach.
I hold her gaze as the truth of the near future settles between us.
Wild emotions swirl in her eyes and like she just punched me in the stomach with it, everything in me just…goes numb.
She’s going to die tonight.
As if from a distance, I can hear machines beeping louder and louder. There’s a stampede from somewhere, closing in fast but I can’t look away from Nancy.
“Mia, what happened? I thought you were just talking to her?”
The beeping gets louder as more blurry figures enter my line of sight, but I can’t tell who’s here.
“Mia, call the nurse! What did you do?” my father shouts but I don’t move.
I think there’s an alarm that goes off.
“Mia, do something!”
I think I hear a stampede of feet running down the hall.
“Mia! What did you do?”
I think someone is struggling to breathe, but all I can do is stare.
Meanwhile, there’s a plethora of activity happening around me. I’m pushed out of the way and a blur of white rushes past me. I hear commands being issued. I hear them counting to three then they shout. “Clear!”
I hear John’s panicked voice echoing in the room.
I can see a frail body spasm out of control on the bed, covered by white sheets that are now stained with blood.
Red.
There’s a lot of red here.
Someone is shouting at me, no, they’re shouting her name. No, at me.