But Felix only smiled enigmatically. Had Felix always been this opaque or was it just the sluggishness of his brain? “Would you want to spend a month watching your brother and the love of his life screw each other’s brains out every chance they get?” he asked.
Max shook his head, even though it made everything fuzzier, and for a second, he was very nearly sick. But then he hadn’t eaten anything yet today. Maybe that was the reason nothing had actually come up. It occurred to him that maybe the discomfort he felt might actually be hunger. “Been there, done that,” he murmured.
“Yeah, exactly. So instead of dealing with them, I get to deal with you.” Felix sounded bright and cheerful, like everybody would trade a vacation to Fiji for a few weeks spent as a nursemaid. But even Max, who was confused as all hell, knew there was something wrong with that logic.
“Food?” Max asked hopefully. Single words were good. He could manage single words, even though his tongue felt dry and heavy and too large for his mouth.
“After we get home,” Felix promised. “I’m going to go grab the nurse, and maybe we can start the release paperwork.”
“Home?” There was definitely something Max was missing, but his stomach grumbled again and that superseded any curiosity he might have had at Felix’s choice of words.
“Home,” Felix repeated firmly.
———
When Felix came back into Max’s room, the nurse in tow, Max was still awake. He was staring out the window, a harmless drugged smile on his face.
“He’s gonna sleep for a while,” the nurse said, “at least when you get him back home.”
“I’m assuming he’s better off sleeping than being coherent and in pain,” Felix said quietly.
“Oh yeah,” the nurse said. “There’s prescriptions for the pain. And it’ll be significant. Make sure he takes them. If he doesn’t, it’s going to be real uncomfortable for both of you.”
“That won’t be a problem. I’m staying with him,” Felix said. After all, once he committed to something, he committed to it.
“I see you’re awake again,” the nurse said, going over to Max’s side. “How you feel about taking off?”
“Home,” Max repeated firmly.
“That’s right,” the nurse said, and after donning a pair of gloves, began to work on getting the IV out of Max’s arm.
Felix wasn’t exactly squeamish—he’d better not be, anyway, considering that the nurse had already gone over Max’s care instructions and he would definitely be the one changing the surgical dressing and making sure it stayed clean—but it was hard to watch when it was Max. When it was someone he cared about as much as he did Max.
Especially when Felix saw Max flinch.
“Hey,” Felix said, reaching for Max’s other hand and tangling those long, calloused fingers with his own. There’d been a point when he’d have cut off his other hand just to hold hands with the man in front of him, but he couldn’t think about that now. Now, he needed to distract Max from the IV being removed.
“Heeeeey,” Max said, and that was definitely not what Felix had expected. Was that . . .a leer?
“Hi yourself,” Felix said, squeezing Max’s hand.
Max raised their joined hands and brushed them against Felix’s forehead. “Pretty,” he said. “So pretty.”
Felix ordered himself not to blush, but it was useless. He glanced up, and the nurse was looking at them. “Your brother, huh?” she asked, amusement in her voice.
He squirmed. “My brother’s best friend,” he finally confessed. He’d been worried that they wouldn’t let him stay in the waiting room during the surgery or wouldn’t let him in to see Max in recovery if he wasn’t a family member, so he’d fudged the truth a little.
“Ah, that kind of brother,” the nurse said, her voice knowing.
Even though Felix wanted to explain it couldn’t ever be like that, because Max wouldn’t ever be interested in him that way, he didn’t, because it was already humiliating enough that his crush was visible from space.
When this ordeal was over, the only person on earth who didn’t know was going to be Max himself—and Felix would do just about anything to keep it that way.
“I’m just about done here,” she continued. “Just keep him distracted for a moment longer.”
Max’s hazel eyes were speckled with green in this light, unfocused and utterly focused on Felix all at the same time.
“Hey, it’s gonna be alright,” Felix said, his voice so much more tender than he’d intended. If he looked up, he might see quiet amusement on the nurse’s face, but he didn’t look, because he was finding it tough to look away from Max.
“Alright?” Max repeated, but he didn’t sound certain. At least not certain enough for Felix’s peace of mind. Even if this was hard—even if it felt impossible—to be there for Max over the next few weeks, he knew deep down in his bones that it was the right thing to do. Max was alone and understandably, justifiably scared—and even if there was never anything more than friendship between them, Felix wanted to be the one who reassured him.
“It’s going to be more than alright,” Felix promised. Promised himself that he would do whatever it took to make this vow come true.
Max squeezed his hand. “Home,” he mumbled. “Wanna go home.”
“In a minute.” Now Felix looked up at the nurse, who was just finishing up. She pressed a tight bandage to entry point of the IV and gave him a nod. “I’ll grab the release paperwork,” she said. “Be back in a moment.”
For a split second, Felix considered untangling his hand from Max’s and going back to the chair in the corner, but Max tightened his grip, so Felix stayed.
“I hope . . .I hope you aren’t mad about this in the morning,” he said, a little self-consciously, because it was clear Max was not understanding everything due to the remnants of the drugs in his system, “I hope you aren’t mad about this in the morning. But it’s right, me being here.”
Max’s eyes began to drift shut again and so Felix kept talking. Trying to keep him awake. He’d need to be at least semi-conscious if Felix had a hope in hell of getting him in and out of the car.
“I kind of think that Leo is going to go semi-crazy in Fiji if Caleb spends all that time in the studio. He’s become so much more driven; we might as well start calling him Benji. And Leo? He’s never been good at just sitting still and doing nothing.”
Max nodded, and his eyes flickered open again, but they still looked vaguely unfocused, like he wasn’t quite sure what Felix was saying. That was okay because Felix was mostly talking out of his ass at this point. “But I guess the bigger question is whether Benji can actually not work when he’s away with Diego,” he continued. “But I’m pretty sure Diego has a real good handle on that problem. But Leo? That’s a whole other issue.” Sometimes Felix wondered if Leo and Caleb hadn’t worked through all their shit—there was still stuff they didn’t talk about, like the fact that Caleb refused to buy a bigger house, even though they were rapidly growing into one. Truthfully, it was easier to worry about Max’s knee surgery than to think about his brother and the potential pitfalls that awaited him and his boyfriend in Fiji.