There was a reason Felix didn’t talk about Max with Leo—or with anyone—but mostly with Leo. “Oh?” Felix asked innocently. “Why wouldn’t I?”
Leo’s look was sharp. “Come on, we’re not stupid. I’m not stupid. You were apparently super close for a while, and now you’re not. And god knows that wasn’t Max’s choice. He’s like a big puppy; he’ll take every bit of friendship you can give him.”
“People grow apart,” Felix began to say, which was fair, because they did. Of course not in this particular situation, but while Max was the very last person Felix wanted to discuss this with, Leo was definitely a solid number two on that particular list.
“Cut the bullshit,” Leo said firmly. “We both know you really care about him. All I want to know is if this is too much for you. If it is, we’ll find an alternative, and he never needs to know.”
What kind of friend would that make Felix then? What kind of person?
“It’ll be fine,” Felix said, even though he didn’t quite believe it. Leo looked like he didn’t quite believe it either, but he let it go, which was a huge fucking blessing.
“We’ll be just a text away,” Leo said. He hesitated. Then he got up and walked around to where Felix was slumped across the counter. “Hey,” he said softly, reaching out and touching Felix’s shoulder, “I care, you know. Max is practically family, but you’re actual family. You’re going to be there whether we crash or burn, no matter what happens. How you feel matters.”
It wasn’t like Felix actively believed that Max mattered more to his brother than him, but it was nice to hear Leo say it.
“Maybe if we spend all this time together, I’ll discover he’s super gross. Belching or farting or something equally nasty.” Felix made a goofy face, and Leo smiled softly, like he knew exactly what Felix was trying to do. And considering they were cut from very similar cloth, it was likely that was actually true.
“Yeah, you’re totally going to find him disgusting, for sure,” Leo said. “I just want you to remember that when we first went on the reunion tour, and I never thought I could ever forgive Caleb? You told me to give him a chance.”
Felix glared. “I certainly did not.”
“Okay, you might have if you didn’t think Caleb was going to destroy every ounce of peace I’d found.”
“Better,” Felix muttered. He hadn’t been happy at all when Caleb Chance had come back around, shooting his older brother all these hopeful, mushy glances, like he actually had a shot at repairing all the fences he’d blown to bits five years earlier. But then, weirder things had happened, because it turned out he actually could.
“All I’m saying is that maybe you should open yourself up to the possibility. Give Max a chance.”
Felix glared at his brother. “Max is straight. You know this.”
“Benji thought he was too, at some point. He and Diego both married other people before they found their way back to each other again. And don’t even get me started on me and Caleb . . .” Felix rolled his eyes. “Right, I’m just saying, if you never tell him, you never have a chance to hear what he has to say about it.”
“That sounds like a real good way to make things permanently awkward,” Felix retorted.
“And they’re not awkward now? With you distancing yourself and Max having no clue why?” Leo challenged.
“I’ll consider it,” Felix said, more to shut his brother down than as an actual promise. “Is that acceptable?”
Leo sighed. “Not particularly, but you are the stubborn one in the family.”
That wasn’t even remotely true, but then his brother had been unlucky enough to have to go up against Beyoncé tonight for Album of the Year. So Felix leaned in, gave him a quick hug, and said that he’d be in touch.
Chapter Two
It wasn’t until after the surgery was over, and Max was waking up in recovery that he realized how completely fucking stupid he’d been.
Groggy was an understatement. He couldn’t string even a single thought together. His eyesight was blurry from the heavy medication they’d used to put him under. He could barely remember his own name, nevermind bother about sending a text to the car service he’d arranged to pick him up and take him back to his house.
Having figured out the anesthesia had worn off, a nurse came bustling in, first checking his wrapped, immobilized knee, and then the readouts on the screen.
“Everything with the procedure went very well, Mr. McCloud,” she said, giving him a bright smile. “How’re you feeling?”
He groaned. “Train. Run over.”
“Any pain?”
Max thought hard for a second. Pain? What was that?
“I thought so,” the nurse answered before Max could formulate the sentence. “The anesthesiologist was a mite heavy on the dosage. You’ll need an hour or so more to sleep it off, but then you can go home. Your brother’s here, in the waiting room.”
Max was fairly sure he’d heard her correctly, but what she’d said hadn’t made any sense. His brother? He didn’t have a brother the last time he’d checked. And anybody he’d consider one, like Leo or Felix or any of the Star Shadow guys, was already gone, either to Fiji or Brazil. He wished the nurse would come back so she could explain—slowly, so his very slow brain could catch up.
But before he could remember to press the call button, he fell right back asleep.
When he woke up again, the sun was much lower in the sky, and Felix was sitting in a chair in the corner, reading something on his phone. Felix. Somehow, it was hard to believe he was even here. Maybe Max’s mind, drugged to the hilt, was just playing tricks on him. The burnished highlights in Felix’s hair shone, almost red in the light—so much brighter than Leo’s, though Max had never gotten out of Felix if he had the color put in artificially. But when he glanced up, blue eyes concerned, they were just like his brother’s. Except for the mischievous glint to them. That was all Felix.
“You’re awake,” Felix said with a smile, standing and crossing to the bed. “I’ll call the nurse. I guess they gave you a pretty strong dose of anesthesia.”
“You’re my brother,” Max said, stupidly, because whatever it was they’d given him, it made everything fuzzy.
A flash of something crossed over Felix’s face. Maybe if he wasn’t so doped up, he could have figured out what it meant, but in his current state, nothing was easy. The thought was gone before he could properly grab hold of it.
“I think you must be confused, buddy,” Felix said quietly. “Not your brother. But I’m here to help you out, anyway.”
“Help?” Max was confused—and it was definitely the drugs, but maybe it was something else too, though he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.
“That’s right,” Felix soothed, reaching out to push the hair that had flopped across his forehead back. “I’m here to take care of you.”
“Fiji?” Max was impressed he even remembered what Fiji was, but he knew, somehow, that Felix wasn’t supposed to be here, taking care of him. He was supposed to be with Leo and Caleb in Fiji.