She catches my eye and shakes her head slightly. “There’s something I need to tell all of you.” She waves a hand at the floor.
Now Johann and I share a glance. We only sit on the floor to talk when we’re strategizing. Whatever Lai wants to say, it must have to do with our next plan of attack. Or she’s worried we’ll get angry enough to attack her and she wants to slow us down. And by us, I mean Johann.
But we all sit in our loose ring on the floor, and even Johann doesn’t ask questions. It’ll be faster to just let Lai get on with it.
“You asked me when we first got to this apartment how I knew about this place,” Lai starts, and stops, which is so not like her I almost ask if she’s okay. Her hands twist in her lap. “I said it was a friend’s place. That they’d be okay with us using it.” No one says anything. We all knew she was telling the truth, because for whatever reason she obstinately refuses to outright lie, but we also knew that it wasn’t the whole truth, either. There was no point arguing it, so we didn’t. Just like there’s no point saying anything now. But the silence looks like it’s getting under Lai’s skin. I try to bite back a smirk. Serves her right. “It is a friend’s place—well, more like a colleague’s, but—well, we belong to the same group. An organization called the Amaryllis Order, which seeks peace between the gifted and ungifted.”
“Amaryllis Order?” Johann repeats. Her eyes narrow, searching Lai’s face. “Never heard of it.”
“No,” Lai says, “you wouldn’t have. We’ve worked very hard to stay secret.”
“Wow, that sounds right up your alley,” I say.
Lai glares at me, but there’s none of her usual venom in it. “If the Council found out about us, they’d try to destroy us—or say we’re part of the rebels or something else ludicrous. They don’t want the gifted and ungifted getting along. If the gifted weren’t backed into a corner with nowhere else to go, not as many of us would join the military—which would be disadvantageous for them. Hence the Order’s secrecy. At least until we’re strong enough to hold our own against both them and whatever the rebels might try if they take an interest in us.”
“Why would the rebels have any interest in your upstart group?” Johann asks. For once, she’s asked a good question. I can’t imagine the rebels, who have their hands full with a war, would even notice some small ragtag group calling for peace. It’s a little late for that anyway.
Lai’s lips tighten. “Because the leader of the rebels helped found the Order, back when we were … friends.”
Friends. Ha. Lai already told us all about how she and Sara Ellis, leader of the rebels, used to pal around with some other guy named Luke. They were all soldiers in the military together. Apparently they were inseparable—until two and a half, three years ago, when Luke killed himself and Ellis stormed off on her own to start the rebels. But that war-hungry rebel leader helping start some peace group between the gifted and ungifted? I can’t imagine it. If I didn’t know Lai doesn’t lie, I’d call her out on something so ridiculous.
“Look, I know how it sounds,” Lai says. I’m probably not the only one with doubt in my thoughts. “But she was different before the rebels. I don’t think she ever really believed peace would come between Nytes and Etioles, just like I didn’t, but we followed Luke and gave it our best shot. She might not take any interest in us at all now—I just don’t know. But that’s not a chance we can afford to take.” She waits to see if any of us will say anything. When we don’t, she goes on. “We’ve grown a lot stronger since the time Ellis was a part of us. We’re enough of a force to do something now. Something real. We just have to be careful about it. And careful who we tell about us.” Her dark blue eyes flick to each of our faces. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. The Order means everything to me. All that I’ve done for the last three years, I’ve done for them. I didn’t want to do anything that could jeopardize our group, or my friends.”
“And you thought telling us might do that?” Johann asks. “What did you think we were going to do—go scream about it all over the sector?”
Of course Johann would get angry. But expecting Lai not to keep secrets is like expecting Etioles to suddenly get along with Nytes. I’m just happy she decided to tell us at all. Because where there’s some secret group that gave us this apartment to hide in, there’s a place to go. To be safe. To do something again.
“It was just a precaution,” Lai says stiffly. Her back straightens, and it’s obvious she’s having a hard time holding back her own anger. I swear, these two will go off on each other for anything these days.
I look to Jay to, I don’t know, share some kind of exasperation, but his expression is carefully neutral. Something about the way he’s sitting—lowered chin, eyes sharp, shoulders drawn in—makes me realize he hasn’t said anything.
“You knew about the Order, didn’t you?” I ask.
Lai and Johann both put their anger on hold to look at me, then Jay.
But Jay isn’t like the rest of us. He doesn’t get defensive, doesn’t try to hide. He meets my eyes. “Yes. Lai told me a few weeks ago.”
Johann explodes to her feet. I resist the urge to yank her arm to get her to sit back down. It’s not like I want her temper turned on me. “So you told Kitahara about all this, but not the rest of us? You thought we were, what, less trustworthy?”
“You and Erik were both keeping important information secret,” Lai says. “That does tend to make one less trustworthy.”
Fire sparks from Johann’s fists—literally. “I can’t believe after all this time, you would—”
“Trust you with the thing that’s most important to me?” Lai says. “Yes, thank you, I’m glad you appreciate the gesture.”
Before Johann can drag this out any longer, I say, “I can’t imagine you’d suddenly tell us about the Order without a reason. We’ve been here for a few days. Why now? Because our investigation at the warehouses failed?”
Lai’s eyes drop, but only for a second. “Partly, yes. We need a new plan. Something that lets us move forward.”
“So you want us all to go to the Order,” I guess.
“Yes. Well, no.” She glances quickly at me, then away again. Her being so on edge creeps me out. “I want most of us to go to the Order.”
A stunned silence fills the room.
“You want to leave one of us behind?” I have a bad feeling I know who she’s got in mind.
“No, not leave behind,” Lai says with a shake of her head so furious I actually believe her. She finally looks at me directly. “Erik. Before you lost your memories, you were a rebel.”
The tips of my fingers freeze. “Thanks for the reminder. I was. Emphasis on the past tense there.”
“But what if you went back?” she presses. “I bet they would accept you. They’d probably be glad to have their friend back.”
“You’re suggesting Erik return to the rebels?” Jay demands. It’s not exactly every day you hear Jay lose his cool, and him getting angry for me makes me kind of happy. It also makes me relieved to hear he wasn’t in on this crazy idea. “You can’t be serious.”