‘No more rugby players, at least,’ he jokes. ‘You’re working your way through the team.’
I allow myself a little laugh.
‘So everyone in here is just looking for someone to shag?’
‘Basically,’ he says. ‘But I don’t want to shag you.’
He says this in a tone of voice that suggests he’s intending this as some kind of comfort.
‘Back at you,’ I reply. ‘It doesn’t seem like membership is all that exclusive.’
Millsy laughs.
‘Maybe just stick with me for the rest of the night, OK?’
‘OK, sure,’ I say. ‘But, moving forward, perhaps the club scene isn’t for me.’
‘Well, let me get you a drink, before you retire,’ he suggests.
In the VIP section of Hades, the champagne flows freely. Scantily clad servers float around in robes, popping corks, topping up glasses. Millsy grabs us a couple of glasses from on top of a gold grand piano that seems to be entirely decorative.
‘To your retirement from the club scene,’ he says, raising a glass.
‘I’ll drink to that,’ I reply, clinking my glass with his.
‘Cara,’ Johnny says as he approaches us. ‘Oh, hey, Mills. You two know each other?’
‘We’re friends,’ I reply.
‘Met at the STD clinic,’ Millsy says. I think this is supposed to put Johnny off me but he takes it as a joke.
‘I just wanted to see if Cara wanted to get out of here,’ he says – to Millsy, for some reason. Surely you’d ask a person something like that directly? Not that I want him to ask me at all. Suddenly all the men in here feel like predators and all I can think about is getting myself to safety.
‘Hey, guys,’ a familiar Aussie accent chimes in. ‘Sorry I’m late, I…’
As Jackson claps eyes on me, his voice trails off. I think it’s my new look that catches his gaze but it’s the familiarity in my face that keeps it.
‘Did we meet last night?’ he asks me. ‘We did, didn’t we? Wow, you look so different. I was going to give you a call… Can I get you a drink?’
‘Oh, I have a drink, thanks though,’ I blurt. I don’t really know what else to say.
‘We were actually just talking about getting out of here,’ Johnny tells him.
‘Yeah, well, we made plans to see each other again some time last night,’ Jackson says.
‘Well, she kissed me, did she kiss you?’ Johnny asks him.
I watch as Jackson’s blood boils. I feel as if there’s this pre-existing competitiveness between them that has nothing to do with me.
‘Is this revenge for Frances?’ Jackson asks him.
‘I thought you said nothing happened?’ Johnny replies as his eyes grow wider and his jaw visibly tightens.
‘Well, at least we’d be even, if that’s what was going on…’
‘Except I definitely slept with Lucy,’ Johnny points out with a smug smirk.
Yep, I’m definitely just a pawn in all of this.
Jackson picks up a champagne bottle from on top of the piano and launches it at Johnny, who dodges it before tackling Jackson to the floor.
Oh, God, how the hell have I got myself involved in something like this? I’m just a nerd who works from home and doesn’t really have much of a social life. The most controversial thing I’ve done as an adult is refuse to be a bridesmaid. I don’t cause fights.
The pair of them roll into my feet, giving me a knock that causes me to drop my drink and my clutch bag. Millsy quickly pulls me out of the way.
Soon enough the bouncers are here, pulling the two of them apart. No one says anything to suggest this, but you can just tell from the bouncers’ body language that they know who they’re pulling apart, and they seem to treat them with a greater degree of care than they would two lads scrapping in a Wetherspoons.
‘Now then, what are you two fighting about?’ a painfully Yorkshire-sounding bouncer asks.
‘It’s her fault,’ Johnny says, pointing towards me.
I suppose now he thinks I’m not going to sleep with him he doesn’t really want me around.
‘OK, you, out,’ the bouncer tells me.
‘What?’ I say, not that I care too much. I don’t really want to be here.
‘You heard,’ he says.
‘OK, just—’
‘Nope, out,’ he says again. This time he grabs me by the arm.
‘OK, wait a second,’ Millsy intervenes.
‘You can get out too,’ the other bouncer adds, grabbing Millsy.
As the pair of us are frogmarched out of Hades, in front of a sea of people who all think they’re super-cool and chill, all looking down their noses at us, I babble about needing my bag, but the bouncers don’t care.
‘Come back for it in the morning, when you’re sober,’ one of them tells me. ‘I’ll hand it to the office. You’re not getting back in tonight.’
‘Can you bring it to me now?’ I ask him. ‘I've not even had that much to drink.’
He doesn’t listen. Instead, they just shove Millsy and me out of a back door, into an alleyway, closing the door straight after.
I glance around the dark, wet, dirty alleyway. I hug myself self-consciously. Suddenly I feel quite vulnerable.
‘Don’t worry, the front is just around this corner,’ Millsy reassures me.
As I take a step to follow him my heel wobbles uneasily on the uneven floor.
‘Come here, take my arm,’ Millsy says, before carefully escorting me back out onto the busy, well-lit road.
‘I’m sorry,’ he says. ‘I feel like that might have all been my fault. My intentions were good, but…’
‘Oh, I'm not bothered about that,’ I tell him. Well, I am, obviously, but I’m not mad at him. I’m disgusted at men. Honestly, I think I’m better off on my own. ‘I’m more bothered about the fact that my flat keys were in my bag.’
‘At least I have your phone,’ he says, pulling it from his pocket.
‘Thanks.’
I glance at my watch. Far too late to get the last train to my mum and dad’s, and God knows what they would think if I turned up at this time, looking like this.
‘Where do you live?’ Millsy asks me.
‘The City Heights building,’ I tell him. ‘You can’t even get into the lobby without a fob or I’d go sit in the gym until morning.’
‘Oh, you’re on my side of town,’ Millsy says. ‘Do you want to just come and stay with me?’
I pull a face.
‘I have two bedrooms,’ he tells me. ‘One of them is all made up, ready for a guest. I’ve been showing it to potential flatmates, so it’s flawless, has its own bathroom too.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Of course,’ he says. ‘This is all my fault.’
‘OK, thanks,’ I say sincerely.
‘You can keep hold of my arm if you like,’ he says as he leads me in the right direction.
‘Thanks,’ I say again. ‘I have a question… how did you become the Leeds Lions’ mascot?’
‘Well, when I was at school I was good at two things: acting and rugby. I was crap at everything else. My dad wanted me to be a rugby player – he’s been a Lions’ fan since the day he was born. Much to my dad’s annoyance, as I got older, I gravitated more towards acting. When I saw the job advert for someone to dress up in the Leo the Lion costume and dance on the sidelines I jumped at the chance. I got to be part of the team, all the while twerking on the sidelines once a week. It was lots of twerking back in my day – recently it’s all dabbing and flossing and pretty much anything you’d find on Fortnite.’