‘I’m not sure I’m ready for hair that is shorter, and a different colour,’ I say, anxiously reaching up to check the length of my hair. He’s taken off less than I thought.
‘I’m not going to make it shorter, darling, I’m giving you hair extensions,’ he replies. ‘So either way, you can have the hair you want. Jessica Simpson is your girl-next-door look, playful, cute, et cetera. Jessica Rabbit is your hot red, wild child, siren look. It all depends on the vibe you want. So, what’s it going to be: Simpson or Rabbit?’
I bite my lip, as I always do when I’m thinking hard or concentrating. Long, bright blonde hair sounds like everything I’ve been trying to achieve on my own. I could get the length (which I guess was never going to happen without professional intervention) before getting some highlights put in. It sounds nice, but wouldn’t be that different for me. If I want to shake up my look I need to do something drastic.
‘Rabbit,’ I blurt nervously. ‘Let’s go for Rabbit.’
‘Yes, that’s what I’m talking about,’ I hear Millsy say behind me. ‘I take risks all the time – they always pay off.’
‘Until one day, when you get a specific kind of infection the antibiotics can’t quite shift,’ Zander teases him.
Oh, so Millsy is a ladies’ man. That’s what it sounds like.
‘You’re just jealous,’ Millsy claps back.
‘Hello, hello,’ a high-pitched woman’s voice squeaks behind me. ‘I’m Dani, I’m here to do your make-up.’
‘Oh, wow, hi,’ I say. ‘This really is a makeover.’
Dani plonks herself down on a stool in front of me. She asks me questions about what kind of make-up I wear, what sort of look I'm into and so on. I tell her that I want a much bolder, stronger look. That I want perfectly chiselled cheekbones (or at least contouring to make them look that way) and a highlight that would make an influencer jealous. Dani laughs, but says that not only can she make it happen, but she can show me how to do it myself moving forwards.
Honestly, I’m expecting to wake up any second; this can’t be real life. Sure, I have to pose for a few photos for their portfolios, but I can’t believe Zander and Dani are doing this for free. All of it. Transforming me into a completely different person. I want to be more confident in my look; I want to be someone who feels worthy of love. I’m sick of being cast aside by men, by my cousin and my auntie treating me as if I'm not good enough. I don’t just need an image makeover, I need an attitude makeover too. And it’s coming. With every length of deep red hair I see Zander bring towards me, and with every sweep of make-up Dani applies to my face, I feel my confidence growing.
‘Do you fancy going out again tonight?’ Millsy asks me. He’s patiently waiting for me, chatting with everyone as he thumbs through old copies of Cosmopolitan magazine. ‘We could try out your new look at Hades, see if any more men give you their number.’
‘I’d love to,’ I reply. ‘Although, should I not contact the guy I swapped numbers with first? Before I go trying to bag others. The guy last night seemed awesome. Friendly, handsome…’
‘Nah, dating is a numbers game,’ he tells me. ‘You can’t waste your time on one person – and you better believe he isn’t putting all his eggs in one basket. If he’s so great, all the more reason to practise your flirting game. See, if I had been flirting with you last night, well, all you did was tell me how you’d been stood up.’
‘Erm, you kind of inserted yourself in my jilting, but I take your point,’ I reply. ‘So, I’ll practise talking to guys tonight and then I can give this guy a call, see what happens…?’
‘Exactly,’ Millsy says, clapping his hands together. ‘That’s exactly what you need to do. Be more man.’
‘Be more man,’ I say to myself with a laugh.
‘If you’re going to take dating advice off anyone, take it from this guy,’ Dani tells me. ‘He’s been on a lot of dates. Do not, however, take relationship advice from him. He has no experience with actual, meaningful relationships.’
‘Oi,’ Millsy laughs. ‘I didn’t realise it was Bash Millsy Day.’
Millsy hops up from his seat and squats down in front of me.
‘How against telling me your dress size would you be?’ he asks. ‘I know men aren’t supposed to ask, but I could go and grab you a dress for tonight. You’re going to be stuck here for hours, getting your hair done.’
‘Oh, erm… yeah, I guess I could tell you. It just sort of depends on the shop and the style… Like, on a good day, in the right shop, I’m easily a twelve, but if there’s no stretch in the chest…’
Wow, Millsy is really invested in this makeover, if he’s willing to go out and pick up a dress for me.
‘Stand up for a second,’ Millsy says, while Zander is off getting more hair and Dani is cleaning her brushes.
I do as he says before he places his hands on my waist. He runs them up and down my sides before giving me a sort of strange hug that feels as if it is exclusively for sizing me up. I feel my body stiffen in his hands. I’m clearly not used to men touching me. Last of all, he checks my height against himself. I barely reach his shoulders.
‘What are you, some kind of curves whisperer?’ I joke.
‘Something like that,’ he replies. ‘Shoe size?’
‘I’m an eight, so good luck with that,’ I reply. ‘Are you actually going clothes shopping for me?’
‘I have a friend,’ he tells me. It sounds as if he has a lot of friends. ‘She’ll hook you up.’
‘OK, sure,’ I say. ‘Thank you so much.’
‘Probably an ex still pining after him,’ I hear Zander say to Dani quietly.
I don’t care if Millsy is a ladies’ man, he’s really going out of his way to help me, and, from what I can tell from the stories, it sounds as if his insincere encounters are far briefer. Assuming I like my new look, of course, because the more time that passes by without me seeing what I look like, the more nervous I get…
7
I don’t know who I am any more.
Millsy dropped off my dress before dashing home to get ready while Zander finished off my hair. By the time Millsy got back it was time for me to slip into my dress, ready for the big reveal. I knew I was in for a shock, but I didn’t realise how different I was going to look. Boy, do I look different. So different it was as if I were looking at a picture of stranger, not in a mirror. Zander said I looked like the real, authentic me, which sounded great, but I never would have thought my authentic self had so many bits stuck to her, like hair and eyelashes. Dani was so proud of her work, constantly telling me how great I looked, taking so many photos. As for Millsy, it took him a few seconds to say anything. He just stared at me, expressionless, and for moment I was worried that he thought I’d made a terrible mistake… but then he smiled.
So here I am, the new, authentic me, out again, this time in a short, bright red dress, an impossibly high pair of black heels, with my long red hair cascading down, framing the curves highlighted by my dress, and then my make-up… the make-up that gives me an almost completely different face. Honestly, when I saw it earlier, I wanted to cry, but Millsy said I wasn’t allowed to, lest I ruin my make-up.