I almost wiggled because that felt kinda good.
I’d not done anything with a guy in so long. It was embarrassing. Made me feel pathetic at times, but then I remembered why, and oh yeah. That was real-world shit. I didn’t want to deal with real-world shit.
“Hey.” Zeke’s voice was all soft. He was watching me, his head angled back so he could see me better, and the concern in his gaze was undoing me. He frowned a little. “Why were you drinking today, Ava?”
I didn’t want to look in those eyes anymore.
I turned, my throat closing up. I blinked away a few tears, but dammit. One got free, sliding down my face.
Zeke walked us over to a counter. He shifted, putting me there, but he didn’t move back. Reaching up, he cupped the side of my face with such tenderness.
Still undoing. A second tear got out.
He wiped both away with his thumb, but he was still holding my face. “Talk to me. I’ve known you for a long time, but I’ve never seen you like this.”
He was right. I worked. I was strong.
I never broke, ever.
Not when my grandfather was finally arrested and we were safe.
Not when my father left us.
Not when my mom lost her legs.
But today—I was losing everything.
“My grandmum is going on hospice.”
I felt Zeke tense, and I closed my eyes, waiting for him to pull away.
I didn’t really know Zeke. It was a weird budship that started with us because he was just as lonely as me. He, who had the world at his feet. He could go anywhere in Fallen Crest and people wanted to talk to him, be seen with him, but he’d begun changing.
I knew he was fierce about some of his friends, one of his best friends, but that best friend was in Europe. Was that it? He was missing that friend?
“You changed when your best friend came to town.”
He stiffened again, but a surprised chuckle left him. “What? Topic change there.”
I relaxed a little. This felt safer to talk about. “You both were gods at your school. I watched. I saw everything. You were such an asshole, but then Blaise came to town and a different side of you came out.” I was back to whispering, confessing, “I liked seeing that, though you terrified me.”
“I did?”
He didn’t sound surprised.
I nodded. “You were a bully, Zeke.”
He frowned, his body still tense, but now going rigid. “I know.” His tone was rueful. “That changed, but I never should’ve been what I was.”
“Was it your best friend who changed you? What happened?”
His eyebrows went up, and he was almost talking to himself. “Man. I… Yeah. Blaise coming back helped because he stood up to me, put me in my place, and I was a jackass. I needed that, but it was other stuff too.” He laughed a little. “My dad caught me taking something I shouldn’t have, and well, he kicked my ass. Not physically, but he took everything away. Like house staff, my car, money. Everything. I had to take care of the house. It was normal what he did, gave me structure. I needed it. He humbled me a lot, but I realized he actually loved me. Like real love, where he gave a fuck if I was growing up to be a future white-collar criminal or not.”
“Really?”
He nodded. “Nothing super traumatizing or anything. I just got some love that was missing. My dad stepped up. Blaise was back in my life. And I made a conscious choice to look for good guys to be like. I didn’t want to be lazy. I wanted to be a better person and yeah. Fast-forward a few years and I guess here I am.” He grew more focused. “What about you?”
I tensed. “What do you mean?”
“What happened to you? You were always quiet, hardworking, but you weren’t jaded. I saw you too.”
Flutters moved through my belly. He had?
I thought about all the hard times, and I shook my head. There was no beginning and the end… I couldn’t go there. “Life. That’s all.”
“Life?”
I nodded. Pain sliced me, and I felt a knife being shoved into my throat. “My mom told me today that when Grandmum goes into hospice, she’s going with her. She’s going into a facility, said it was time.”
“What about Grandmum?”
“It’s time, Aves. We had a talk, and she wants to do a hospice bed in the nursing home. There’s a room there they can use for her.”
“When did you decide all of this?”
“I had a meeting with them today.”
“No. No, Mom. We can take care of her here. I’ll get time off—”
“Ave.” She wheeled her chair closer and stopped, folding her hands in her lap. “You have taken care of us most of your life, and honey, you’re too young for this. I’m going to move into my own place.”
“What?!”
“It’s not that bad. It’s a new program. It’s set up where I’ll have my own place, and I’ve got some friends there already.”
“You’re not old. What are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking we need to sell the house to handle some of the extra bills, and I’m thinking that I want you to live life where you’re not taking care of me anymore. You can help, but it’s not like I’m dying anytime soon. It’s not what it sounds like. It’s my own place, but I got people close to help if I need it. I don’t want you to worry about me.”
“You’re my mother. That’s my job. That’s not going to stop if you move somewhere else.”
“See. Right there. That’s why I need to make this move. You know I’ve got some other health concerns. They ain’t going away.”
Grandmum was dying. My mom was moving. We needed to sell the house.
I was losing everything I knew.
7
ZEKE
Jesus. I was stunned.
Ava told me what was going on, and pieces were fitting together as to why she worked so much. How she must’ve felt in high school, and I had been such the opposite that I was getting another humbling kick in the ass. Right up the ass.
Fuck.
I couldn’t comprehend any of this.
“You’re amazing.”
Ava gave me a weird look. We’d moved to the living room. The conversation continued as I brought in a pizza, and she was looking tired. I was thinking some of the carbs were soaking up the alcohol. She wouldn’t be so sick, but she was also feeling what she’d been hoping to avoid.
“What?” She laughed, but I saw the confusion too.
I leaned forward, scooting to the edge of my couch. “You’re amazing, Ava.”
She quieted, her eyes widening, and she seemed to slink into the loveseat, like she wanted to disappear.
I shook my head. “I was such a jackass in high school.” I leaned back, my eyes still on her. “My mom’s an alcoholic.”
“I didn’t know that.” She said that so quietly. Small.
I snorted. “It’s not a big deal, at least to me. To each their own, I figure. She thinks it’s her getting by, but she’s just wallowing. She doesn’t want to change. Alcoholic or not, she’s a good mom to me. She just likes her wine, and then she goes in her room and cries. Or she did. Her and my dad are on some big trip so I’m not sure if it’s the same deal, but that’s how I grew up.” Thinking on it, I winced. “I mean, I don’t like that she’s that sad, but that’s for her to fix. Anyways, sharing that because I’ve always known I didn’t need to take care of my parents. And I’ve always known that there’d be assets for me. I never worried about any of that, and you, I don’t know the breakdown of health insurance or whatever and you’ve not talked about the males in your life or even if there were or are any, but you’re fucking amazing, Ava. You’re looking at me like you’ve got no clue why I’m saying that to you, and that makes you even more amazing.”