I fought against rolling my eyes. “Sweetie, I wasn’t laughing at your girl. I was laughing at Allen, because for him, that was tame.” I began moving backward, going back down the bar. “Also, Laughlin is a cool name.”
The girl eased up, her head straightening. “Thank you.”
A guy had moved in behind the girl who paid for everything, and as I filled his order, I couldn’t help myself. I asked under my breath to her, “They’re going to pay you back for tonight?”
She jerked upright, stiffening. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I stepped back, eyeing her. “Right.” I gave her a soft, but sad smile. “Here’s some female empowering two cents: if you gotta pay for them, they’re friends with your cash, not you.”
She flicked her eyes up, just as the others called her name. “Whatever.” She stalked off.
I watched her go, but I didn’t know why.
Maybe I saw a bit of me in her. Sadly, it wasn’t the part that had friends. It was the part that felt like a schmuck. That was me back then, and still was.
I lied to Zeke. I wasn’t single because I wanted to be.
I was single because no one that I wanted, wanted me back.
3
AVA
The house was lit up when I got home, but that wasn’t uncommon.
I walked through, turning off everything. Grandmum’s oxygen machine was buzzing in the background, but I still went in and made sure everything was working properly. She was settled in her bed, folded up like a ball, and turned to the side. She was so tiny, but that was a family trait. All the women were petite. All of us had blond hair too. Grandmum’s was white by now. Mom’s was dark blond, and I was a mix between with honey-light blond hair. I saw a tip of Grandmum’s hair sticking outside of the blanket, but otherwise she was fully covered. I stood in the doorway, watching out of habit to make sure her chest rose. Once I saw the steady rhythm of her deep sleep, I turned her light off too.
It was her habit to leave it on. She once told me she kept it on because she never knew when Grandpap was coming home, and the habit had stuck. She couldn’t sleep unless the light was on. Growing older, learning more, I was figuring she kept it on in case he tried to sneak in after they separated. He never gave her a divorce. That was one thing he held over her head, and how my grandmum grew up, she didn’t fight him. She was just happy he never brought his shotgun to finish her off.
Women shouldn’t have to live like that, but some did. Grandmum did.
I left her room and checked on my mom next.
She’d taken to the same habit as Grandmum. Her light was on, and she was sleeping in almost the same position as her mama. The main difference, her wheelchair was positioned next to her bed, and she didn’t have an oxygen machine. Instead, though, she had a fan propped up for noise.
I turned her light off and moved through the living room. That light too.
Doors were locked. I checked them two more times before I headed upstairs.
None of the lights were on up here, but neither my mom nor Grandmum came up here. It was the reason it was mine. I got the whole floor, but I only used the large bedroom on the end.
I cleaned up and got ready for bed.
Once I settled in, my window was open because temps were fine at night, I rolled to my side. I faced the door and the one window I had propped open. That was it. I couldn’t handle sleeping with noise. If someone broke in, it was up to me to protect everyone. That was my role in the family.
I took a deep breath, feeling sleep starting to spread through me, but right before I drifted off, I flashed back to Zeke.
“You’re too hot to be single, Ava. That’s what I think.”
I drifted off with a grin on my face.
I didn’t believe him, but it felt nice to hear.
4
AVA
The smell of bacon and coffee woke me, and my stomach grumbled, waking me even further.
I knew my mom could cook just fine. She was a wizard in her wheelchair, but I still hurried getting up for the day. I didn’t shower last night because I didn’t want to wake anyone up. Both needed their sleep, so I hurried with a shower this morning.
I grabbed my phone, pulling it from the charger and stuffing it into my back pocket before I went downstairs.
The sounds of the grease sizzling filled the room, along with the coffee machine brewing.
I was already smiling before I got to the kitchen because my mom didn’t need to cook for me. She and Grandmum liked to sleep in. Not me. Or I didn’t think I did. I never had, to be honest. Sleep was a privilege for me because I worked so much, so her doing this was for me.
They also weren’t big breakfast eaters, though Grandmum would nibble on some dates when she woke.
But once I hit the doorway, I saw the brochure laid out on the table and my heart sank.
This wasn’t going to be one of those happy mornings.
I looked over.
My mom was watching me. Metal tongs clutched in her hand, she’d unlocked her wheelchair so she could see me better.
Tiny, but toned arms. Her hair was clipped back with tiny barrettes, framing her face from ear to ear. They were rainbow colored. She had on mesh shorts.
She swallowed, her eyes flaring from grief before she said what I never wanted to hear from her.
“We need to talk about Grandmum.”
5
ZEKE
We were on the golf course when instead of lining up his shot, my buddy burst out laughing.
I frowned. “Dude.”
He was almost falling over, but turned to me, raising his nine iron behind him. “Zeke! That is fucking hilarious. Look!”
Brian was almost falling over from his laughter.
Jesus. What the fuck.
I got out of the golf cart and moved so I could see whatever this was. When I got there, holy…fuck. But I wasn’t laughing. Ava was walking across the green, but not in a way where it was obvious that she was on a mission or had a destination in mind. No. She was going this way, then that way, and going in a circle. She was walking backward. She was all over the place, and she was drinking from a bottle of vodka at the same time.
I drew in a breath as Brian kept laughing. “You know who that is? That’s that Ava chick. You know, the one who worked everywhere.” His laughter went up a notch. “We’d go to the pizzeria. Ava. We’d go to Manny’s. Ava. We’d go to Nooma’s. Ava. It became a joke, remember? We’d drink if she popped up somewhere. She was at the gas station too. Damn. Girl got around.”
One day I’d tell Brian how close he was to getting his face punched. Or how close he was to waking up in a hospital bed. I didn’t trust myself right now.
He sighed, his laughter finally fucking subsiding. “I doubt she works here. She’s as wasted as I was on my twenty-first birthday.”
“Brian.” Finally, I could speak, through gritted teeth.
“Yeah?” He swung my way.
“Shut the fuck up.”
“Wha—she’s not in our social circle. What are you doing?”
Ignoring him, I started down the hill, carrying my own alcohol in hand.