Lucas nodded. “Yes. When all of this is over and Alexander has been dealt with, she will be given a choice. One that only she can make.”
“I … no,” I said. “That isn’t fair.” I sounded like a child to my own ears.
“Life isn’t fair.” Lucas laughed. “You know on the day of the accident with Joan, we were with Alexander that day. None of us knew why we suddenly passed out.” Lucas slammed his hand down on the desk and shoved himself off, going toward the window. “It was him. I remember it so fucking clearly now. He told us we all needed to celebrate and he’d been brewing this drink for just the occasion. An already opened bottle of champagne. I didn’t question it at the time and then we all drank. I was so fucking happy, so was Joan. We were moving on to our next stage in life.” My dad rubbed at his eyes. “After that drink, it was like we’d gone into a nightmare.”
“You didn’t suspect him?” I asked.
“He was our friend.” Lucas shook his head. “There’s nothing I can do now.”
“You can, you can bring him in. Free Joan and Sian. Free my mom from this life. You live together, but you’re not happy. Neither of you are. That can’t be good for you both.” I loved my parents, but I knew they weren’t happy and hadn’t been in a long time.
“It sounds simple, doesn’t it? Save Joan. Reunite mother and daughter. Clean and clear.”
“It is.”
“Joan has to make the same choice, Gideon. It’s not a guarantee she’ll want anything to do with us. Nothing is.”
I wanted to tell him that if she loved them as much as they believed, she would pick them. When it came to Sian, I didn’t know what she’d pick. It wasn’t like I had given her a choice in anything.
Falling in love took time.
After Heather’s death, talking to her had been so difficult. She’d been impossible to reach through her pain.
My dad called it a night and I left, going into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water.
Sian was already there, sitting at the counter, drinking from a mug. The scent of chocolate was heavy in the air.
“Have you stopped being vegan?” I asked.
“No. Your dad has started buying plant milk, and some dark chocolate is vegan. I checked.” She sipped at her drink. “It’s good.”
I took a seat as Sian drank her hot chocolate.
“You don’t have to sit with me,” she said.
“I want to.”
“How is your dad?” she asked.
“Angry. Hurting. The same.”
She nodded. “How are you?”
“Wondering about you. How are you holding up?” I asked.
“Oh, you know me, I can handle everything thrown at me. Found out my father is a giant asshole, not that it was a huge revelation. My memories of him were always far from being warm and cozy.” She sipped at her drink. “And today after everything, I had sex with Dante in the grass near one of the big oak trees.”
I stared at her. “You did?”
“Yep.” She looked at me over the rim of her cup. “Are you pissed off with me?”
“What? No? Why?”
“I fucked one of your friends.”
“Sian, this isn’t a competition. We followed the rules, and there’s no judgment here. You like Dante?”
“I like all of you. You not so much, not when you’re being an ass and think you know better.” She chuckled. “I feel this needs alcohol.”
“You want me to get you some?”
She shook her head. “No. I think I’m going to keep my drinking to a minimum. I need to stay clear-headed.” She sighed, taking another sip. “You know, I wondered what my mom was going to say to me, or tell me what to do.”
“The day of the fire?” I asked.
I hated bringing up the fire. The memory was one of the worst ones she had.
“Yeah, that day.”
“I wished I had been there,” he said.
“Me too. We don’t know who did this.” She lifted a lock of her hair. “There is so much we don’t know.”
“We know it wasn’t The Society,” I said. “That has to mean something.”
She shrugged. “I don’t know anything anymore. I’m tired of hunting for answers that are only giving me more riddles.” She got to her feet and moved toward me. I spread my legs as she stepped between them and put her hands on my shoulders. “Can I ask you a question?”
“You can ask me anything you’d like,” I said.
“Do you like me?”
“What?”
She pulled away. “Don’t worry about it. It’s a stupid question.”
She went to leave, and I grabbed her hands, tugging her back toward me. “Don’t go.” I didn’t want to let her go.
Putting my hands on the base of her back, I held her tight against me, but her gaze was on my chest, nowhere near my eyes.
“Sian, look at me.” I wanted her to see me, to know that I more than liked her. With my dad’s words ringing in my head, I had to make her see this was more than just some rules.
She turned her head, and I stared into her brown eyes.
“Of course, I like you. I don’t know why you’d think I didn’t.”
“Gideon, I know … I wasn’t a choice with you. None of this was a choice for me. I guess I don’t know what I’m guessing right now. I’m so tired. I’m going to look into going to college,” she said. “I know they can accept late admissions. Do you think your dad will help me?”
“My dad will help you with everything you want. You know that. What about your mom?”
“I don’t have the resources to find her. I … I don’t know her, Gideon. My dad took who she was away from me.”
“And it has stopped you wanting to find her?” he asked.
“No, it hasn’t stopped that. I can’t … I need to do something other than sitting around here all day. I’m going to get the laptop from Heather’s family and then I’m going to try and move on with my life.”
I held her a little tighter. “Are you pulling away from us?”
“No.” She cupped my face. “I only hope you see what’s going on here. What we need to do.” She kissed me. “I’m going to go to bed.”
I watched her go, hating the sight of her walking away. I didn’t want her to leave.
Gritting my teeth, I knew there was nothing I could do. No magical potion that could bring her back to me.
Sitting at the kitchen counter, I tried to think of solutions to our problem.
When I came up blank, I had no choice but to go and round up the boys, to let them know what was at stake. They were all asleep, and all of them hated me for waking them up, but I was more than happy for them to curse me out as I shook them awake.
We had important business to attend to.
****
William
I found Sian out in the garden, a cup of coffee in her hand. She wore a pair of jeans and one of my shirts. I recognized the tartan. Beneath the shirt, she wore a white crop top. On her feet were a pair of sneakers.
After Gideon’s warning last night, staring at her now, I wanted her. I needed her to know that not only was she liked but she was loved as well.