“I didn’t mean to—”
“No, don’t worry, you didn’t,” she says before I can even finish my sentiment. “You’re totally right and actually, it’s pretty late,” she says, gesturing toward the clock on the microwave. “Tomorrow I have four showings, so I’m going to be swamped.”
I take the hint and stand up, walking over to the front door to put on my shoes. It’s awkward now and I want to say something—anything—to make it go away and have things be normal, but frankly, I have no idea what that something would be.
“Thanks for tonight . . . that movie was pretty funny. Guess I gotta let you choose more often,” I say with a wink. Her lips lift into a small smile as she walks over to open the door. I’m tempted to kiss her good night but know that it would just fuck everything right back up again.
Instead, I turn and walk outside, telling myself that the next time we hang out, I’ll have to tell her that we can’t do this anymore, because someone’s going to get hurt. And by someone . . . I mean me.
5
August
I shut the door behind Remi and then lean against it, my heart thumping so loudly in my chest that it fills my ears.
“What the fuck are we doing?” I ask myself as I bury my head in my hands. “No, he’s right. This is stupid and we’re going to ruin things if we keep doing this.”
I pace back and forth, talking out loud to myself. I shake my hands out, letting out long exhales and inhaling deep, slow breaths trying to convince myself that I’m making the right decision. It’s better to have him in my life as a friend than not at all.
The next day, I’m swamped. I have four showings and a mountain of paperwork to get through. I’m rushing back into my office after the second showing when my phone chimes with a text from Celeste Slade.
Celeste: With Brennan and Quinn at Bean & Bun. Meet us for lunch?
I check the time and it’s nearing 1 p.m. I really should stay in the office and work through my inbox, but my stomach growls loudly, reminding me that I’ve had nothing but coffee and Diet Coke today.
Me: Yes! Be there in 10.
I grab my purse and keys and step out of my office, walking by my assistant. “Hey Roxy, heading out to B&B for lunch. I’ll be back in an hour and I’ll bring you back your favorite Palisade peach hand pie,” I say as I rush outside.
“Aw, where are all the babies?” I say with a tinge of disappointment when I spot the ladies sitting in the corner.
“Happy to see you too, August,” Celeste jokes, standing to give me a hug.
“Why do you think we’re all here?” Brennan says between bites of her sandwich. She grabs a napkin and dabs at a bit of mustard on the corner of her mouth. “The guys took the kids on a camping day trip.”
“Seriously? You trust them to handle all those kids?” I laugh at the thought of the Slade brothers and Sawyer wrangling toddlers while trying to set up a tent.
“Oh, we’ve already received multiple texts—asking where something’s at in the diaper bag, what time they nap, or when snack time is.” Celeste rolls her eyes but she’s also loving it.
My ovaries feel like they’re crying as I hear the girls talk and laugh about the silly and somewhat ridiculous things their husbands say and do when it comes to their kids. They all joke about how the guys would be lost without them, but the reality is, they are amazing and capable fathers.
“Don’t worry, the guys are planning their annual cookout in a few weeks, so you can have all the playtime with the kiddos then,” Brennan adds. “Unless you want to come babysit, in which case you’re always welcome.” They all laugh in agreement.
“How are things going with you guys?” I ask as Violet waves at me from behind the counter. She asks if I want my usual—roast beef on rye with extra sauerkraut—and I nod.
“The brewery is doing fantastic, and it feels like they’re constantly hiring more and more people with the whiskey expansion. Drake and I have officially agreed on no more kids, and we’re finally going to take a family vacation to Disney World.”
“Oh fun!” Quinn smiles.
“Yeah, the kids are beyond excited. Crazy how much life changes once you have children. One of our early pre-kid vacations was a secluded tree house in Hawaii where all we did was lie in bed, have sex, and enjoy tropical drinks,” Celeste comments and Quinn and Brennan laugh in agreement.
I know they probably long for those days again, but the stories about taking a family vacation with kids and building all these memories is exactly what I long for.
“Well, Colton likes to think we’re still that couple that can stay up till 3 a.m. having swinging-from-the-rafters sex, then get up at 6 with the kids. Don’t get me wrong, I love that our sex life hasn’t taken a nosedive, but I’m exhausted!”
“Oh God, tell me about it!” Quinn agrees. “It’s actually so hot when we’re driving home from someplace and Lily is asleep in the back seat. Sawyer will reach behind my neck and start rubbing it so softly, and that’s when I know that once we get home, it’s on!”
We all burst into laughter as Violet brings over my lunch. “What’s so funny?” she asks, wiping her hands on her apron.
“The ladies here are just filling me in on their crazy sex lives,” I say, taking the plate from her.
“Nope!” she says, putting her hands in the air before spinning on her heels and walking back behind the counter. “The last thing I need is more sex talk, or I’m going to end up pregnant again as soon as I get home. There’s something in the water in this town.”
“Speaking of men, August, what’s going on wi—”
“With . . . ?” I ask, looking at Celeste, who’s stopped mid-sentence with her latte halfway to her mouth. I turn to follow her gaze just as the glass door opens and Ryder walks in.
“Ohhhh myyyy God,” Brennan whispers loudly enough that I know he can hear her. I slap her leg under the table just as he spots me and a huge grin breaks out across his face.
“Hey, August,” he says, his voice a low rumble. His gorgeous blond mane is pulled back into a man bun that accentuates his razor-sharp jaw.
“Hey, Ryder.” I stand up and he has to lean down several inches to give me a hug. His gray T-shirt is stretched so tightly across his chest that I’m afraid his biceps will rip right through it with the movement. He has a pair of dark jeans on that hug his tree-trunk thighs.
I see the ladies staring at him with drool practically dripping from their chins. Celeste cocks one eyebrow at me as if to say, So this is the god-like Thor dreamboat Willow was talking about?
“Ryder, these are my friends Celeste, Brennan, and Quinn.”
Quinn’s mouth snaps shut at the mention of her name, like she didn’t even realize she’d been staring at him slack-jawed.
“Ladies.” He gives them a polite nod then steps to the left of me and grabs a white to-go bag off the counter before handing his card over to Violet.
He turns to me. “Oh, been meaning to call you, actually. Buddy of mine from the Denver area is interested in a place out this way. Okay if I give him your info?” he asks, thanking Violet and taking his card back.