“Mornin’,” August spins around, a grin on her face as she pulls a carton of eggs from the fridge and places them on the counter next to the pan on the stove. She’s wearing a pair of my boxers and my undershirt with no bra. My eyes drop to her pink nipples poking through the material, but I quickly avert my eyes so I don’t tent my PJs.
Goddamn, I’d love to have round two right here on my kitchen island.
“Hey, thought you could use some breakfast?” she says as she turns her attention back to the stove. “Two eggs or three?”
“Two,” I say, pouring myself a cup of coffee and leaning against the island to watch her work. I take a long sip, savoring the bitterness and contemplating what to say. Weirdly, she doesn’t seem shy or uncomfortable like she did last night. It feels natural to see her bouncing around my kitchen. The thought is exciting and scary at the same time.
While she cooks the eggs, I make some toast. We both take a seat at the table after she plates our eggs.
“So . . .” I start, completely unsure of what I’m about to say. “I think because this is now the second time we’ve hooked up, we should probably talk about things?”
She swallows down her bite, nodding her head slowly. “Yeah, I’m sorry I just showed up out of the blue last night dressed like—”
“Yeah, what was that about?” I laugh.
“So Jade basically dared me to do it that night at the bar. We were laughing and watching that bleached blonde babe flirt with you like crazy—you know, the one with the . . .” She puts her hands out in front of her chest. “I didn’t expect . . .” she trails off and my heart sinks. I guess I thought, or at least hoped, that she came over dressed like that to seduce me—that after our kiss at the bar, she wanted to continue what we’d started.
“Oh.” I can’t hide my disappointment. I toss my half-eaten toast back on my plate, suddenly not very hungry.
“It’s just that, I mean, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Don’t think that I didn’t want to . . . it’s just that, I don’t know, we want different things.” She’s clearly getting flustered.
“What do you mean?” I lean back in my chair, crossing my arms over my chest.
“You’re focused on taking over your dad’s company and expanding it with your brother out in Vegas. And we both know that little display at the bar wasn’t anything new. If we hadn’t kissed, we both know you would’ve gone home with her.” She stands, grabbing our plates and tossing the leftovers in the trash before putting them in the sink.
“So because I’m building my company, I can’t . . . what? Have a life and relationship outside of that?” I don’t even bother addressing the comment about the blonde. Yeah, I very well could’ve taken her home if August hadn’t been there, but not because I’m a horndog player. It’s just a way to distract myself from not having her.
“No, that’s not . . . Do you want to settle down and have a family right now? Do you want to start planning a wedding and kids and all that? Because that’s what I want, Remi, and you know that. You’ve always known that. I’m 33 and I’m ready to find my forever.” She tosses a dish towel on the counter and comes to sit down at the table next to me.
I know she’s right. I don’t know if I’m ready for all that. The thought terrifies me and I don’t know why. My parents have a happy marriage. Sure, they’ve had occasional problems, but they raised my brother and me right, were successful, and still love being around each other. I stare down at the table, not wanting to look August in the eyes and tell her she’s right: I’m a coward.
“Hey,” she reaches over and grabs my hand, “I’ve got a proposition.” She has a cheeky grin on her face. “You’re my best friend—always have been and always will be—and we’ve clearly proven that we can hook up and it doesn’t ruin things, so . . . why not just be, ya know . . . friends with benefits?”
My heart sinks. Are you fucking serious?
“Ha, you really think that works? I don’t know, August. That just seems like a disaster waiting to happen.”
“It’s just a thought. I know we both haven’t had a serious relationship in a while, so it’s a way to scratch an itch. No plans or structure—just if you feel lonely or whatever, text me and we can figure it out.”
I look over at her. She’s offering to be a booty call? This doesn’t feel right. It feels like she’s selling herself short for a good fuck and I’m settling for whatever scrap of August I can get. I swallow hard and plaster on my best smile.
“Let’s put a pin in it.”
3
August
Three Months Later . . .
“How’s married life?”
“Honestly, it’s pretty amazing,” Willow responds with a dreamy, far-off look in her eyes. She lets out a sigh before taking another bite of pita and hummus. I had a showing in Denver today, so Willow invited me out to lunch to catch up now that she’s back from her honeymoon and settled into her new home in the suburbs.
“What about you? You ever take me up on the suggestion to go out with Ryder?”
After selling Landon’s old childhood home to Ryder—the new fire chief in town—it’s like my friends can’t get off my back about dating him. It didn’t help that I drunkenly confessed about my recent and past hookups with Remi at Willow’s bachelorette party a few weeks ago.
“No. Look, don’t get me wrong, he’s the physical personification of sexy. That man looks like Thor’s hotter brother, but . . .” I trail off, not wanting to admit the reality of the situation out loud.
“Buuuut?” Willow asks with a look on her face that says, I already know what you’re going to say.
“But I’m in love with Remi, okay?” I dramatically throw my hands in the air before petulantly sitting back in my chair. The table next to us looks over and Willow offers them an apologetic smile.
“Are you actually in love with him, or just the idea of him?”
I mull the question over in my head before letting out a long sigh. “Honestly, I’m not sure. But look at you and Landon . . . you guys figured it out and made it work. I feel so hopeless.”
“Hey, don’t feel hopeless and don’t compare what you have with Remi to Landon and me. The two of us weren’t as close as you and Remi. We had 15 years of distance and anger and bitterness and all that. You have more to risk with Remi, and if I were you, I’d be terrified to screw that up too. That’s why I suggested Ryder. Maybe you just need to go on some dates and see what else is out there.”
“But I have been dating, Willow. I’ve been dating for so long and I’m so over it. The last time I used a dating app, most of the guys just wanted a hookup, one guy kept asking about my mom—which was super-weird, and two ended up stalking me. Trust me, seeing what’s out there isn’t the problem.”
“So then what’s the problem?”
“The problem is we want different things . . . at least right now. We aren’t on the same page. I want what you have. I want to have a marriage and a family soon, and I’m ready to settle down and build a life with someone. Remi just isn’t there yet. You know that night we hooked up? A few days earlier, he was practically buried in some other girl’s tits the entire night before we made out in the parking lot.” I roll my eyes and finish off my Coke.