The train finally pulls into the station and I walk to the edge of the platform. I step onto the train and have a seat. Before getting too comfortable, I look at every face around me, not seeing the familiar man who’s been following me. I breathe a sigh of relief and remove my earbuds from my bag. I put them into my ears and play The Lumineers from my phone. The train starts to move forward and like the snap of my fingers, I’ve managed to shut everything off, leaving all the fear, the worry, and the anger behind me.
I gaze out the window as we speed through the city, not thinking about anything other than what I’m going to do when I get home. First thing being, pour a big glass of wine, maybe followed by a soak in my tub. Maybe I should join a gym, get some of my daily frustrations out on a spin bike or something. I see girls on Instagram talk about how Peloton bikes changed their lives. But then I remember the last time I joined a trendy fitness class and since I wasn’t a size-two stick figure, it was made abundantly clear my plus-size ass was too much for them to handle. Isn’t the gym a place you’re supposed to be able to go to and not feel judged? Ugh, whatever.
The train finally makes it to my stop and I quickly get off. As I walk away, I keep looking behind me but nothing seems out of the ordinary. Eventually, I give up checking behind me and just finish the walk to my building. I let myself into my apartment and lock up behind me like I always do. I drop my things at the door and go directly to the kitchen like I planned and pour a huge glass of wine. I take a big drink and let out a long breath when I finally remove the glass from my lips.
Thus begins my same nightly routine. A shower. Dinner in front of the TV where I may or may not fall asleep, and then bed. I don’t let myself dwell on the fact that since being single, I’ve basically become a complete hermit, shutting out the once mutual friends I shared with Penn. That’s the shitty thing about the breakup; he got to keep all of our friends, and I was left with the emotional baggage.
I strip out of my clothes, kicking off my sky-high pumps and savoring my wine as I fill the tub. I flip through my playlists till I find one that sounds good in the moment. Tonight is a Norah Jones and Corinne Bailey Rae kind of night.
In the morning, it’s the same routine as the last eight hundred million days of my life. Coffee, get dressed, and head out the door. Maybe Penn was right about me not having friends and a life… If I’m not careful, I’m going to end up alone with nothing but a career to keep me warm at night.
I’m completely lost in thought as I’m walking down the steps of my building when I see something out of the corner of my eye. I turn my head to the right and see the man who’s been following me… or at least I think it’s him. I swear he was just standing across the street, looking my way, but when I stop, he quickly ducks into the alleyway between two buildings.
It feels like someone just dumped a bucket of ice water on me. My body is flooded with endorphins and they’re telling me to run. I hold my purse against me tightly as I pick up the pace and rush toward the train station. As I speed walk, I keep looking behind me, thinking that maybe it was just a figment of my imagination. Just as I’m about to round the corner, I see him turn from the one behind me. I’m quite a bit ahead, but he’s still on my trail.
Forcing my feet to go as fast as I possibly can in heels, I push on, making it to the train station. I swipe my pass and push between a large group of people, hoping they keep me concealed. The train is just pulling into the station and I hope the people around me stay in place until I can board. The train stops and a large group of people exit, sweeping me up in the flow. I take a seat on the train and keep my eyes on the gate, waiting for the man to enter. As I wait, I pray that the train will take off before he enters. I’m muttering a prayer under my breath as I dig my nails into my palms, unable to loosen my fists. My heart is pumping so hard I can hear it in my ears. Finally, the doors close and seconds later, the train is rolling forward. The man never gets on.
By the time I get to the office, I’m visibly shaking. I go straight to my office to calm myself. Everything is fine. He can’t get me here. Now, going home and staying alone will be a problem, but I’ll just have to be extra careful. How did he find where I live? He must have followed me, but I’ve been so careful lately. I haven’t noticed anyone following me. Or have I? The last few days I’ve been lost in thought when I left the office. I let my guard down.
I sit at my desk, inhaling through my nose and exhaling through my mouth like we do in the yoga class I sometimes do on YouTube. It’s working. I can feel myself start to calm down when my door opens unexpectedly and Theo walks in. His face instantly goes from slack to concern.
“What is it, Wren? Is it Penn? Did he do something?”
I shake my head. “N-no,” I stutter. “I saw him… the man.”
He crosses his arms over his broad chest.
“Only… he wasn’t on the train. He was outside my building. I don’t know how he found me, Theo. He must have followed me or, or, or…” I can’t stop stuttering and I can’t seem to process a single thought.
He relaxes his arms and steps toward my desk, grabbing my arm and pulling me against his chest.
“Shhhh, calm down. You’re safe. I’m not going to let anything happen to you, Wren. God, you’re shaking so hard,” he says, rubbing his hands up and down my back in a soothing manner as I wrap my arms around him. “You’re safe,” he tells me again.
The warmth of his body against mine, his deep voice in my ear, and the way his hands are touching me, cause me to instantly feel at ease.
He pulls back and studies me, his eyes full of concern? Fear? “Now, sit down and tell me everything.”
I nod and turn to sit behind my desk. “I haven’t seen him for a couple days. I haven’t been reading on the train. I look at every face around me. I thought I’d been paying close enough attention, but I think I got lazy. But this morning, I left the building and I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I turned my head to get a better look and that’s when I saw him. He was across the street looking at my building. The moment he knew I saw him, he ducked into the alleyway between two buildings, so I ran. I started toward the train station and I kept looking behind me. I saw him again as I rounded the corner. I don’t know how he found where I live, Theo.” Tears build in my eyes and I do my best to will them away; however, a few end up falling that I brush away with the back of my hand.
“Okay, here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to hire someone to find this guy. We’ll get to the bottom of all this. In the meantime, you’ll stay with me. I don’t want you alone and I don’t want you on that train. Got it?”
I nod in agreement but I’m not entirely sure I really even have a choice.
“After work, I’ll drive you home and you can pack the things you’ll need. Then I’ll bring you back to my place where you’ll stay until we get to the bottom of this.”
“Thank you, Theo. I’m just…” I shake my head. “I’ve never been more scared in my life.”
“And for good reason. This guy is gaining confidence, Wren, and I’m putting a stop to it now.”
That only scares me more but I know that he’s right. This guy is getting more and more brave. He won’t stop until he has to and it’s going to take more than me to teach him a lesson.