“Well, it’s just that…” She takes a deep breath like she needs to work up the courage to tell me. “I went with Penn,” she confesses.
I lean back a little, trying to act unbothered, but clearly I’m failing.
“It’s not what you think. We’re not getting back together. We were just catching up.”
I don’t mean to, but I roll my eyes. “Yeah, I bet. And what guilt trip did he lay on you this time? I know he had to have made you feel guilty one way or another. That’s always the key to getting what he wants.”
She doesn’t flinch at my harsh tone. She doesn’t look at me. She just sits back like this is any normal conversation. I guess with us it is normal conversation.
I let out an exasperated sigh and stand up, heading toward the door, but then I stop and turn back to face her.
“You know, I’m tired of watching this guy manipulate you. I’m tired of seeing you cry because of him. And most of all, I’m tired of watching you go back to him time and time again, expecting something different, because then you always come crying to me. You can’t keep doing the same thing and expecting a different result, Wren. You want better for yourself, then be better.” Without another word, I turn and walk out the door, ignoring her assistant as I pass.
I know I was a little harsh on her and I hope I didn’t upset her too much by saying what I said, but this isn’t new to us. We haven’t been down this road once or even twice. They were together for many years and every few months, we’d have this same conversation. Here we are, years later, and we’re still having the same goddamn conversation.
I tell myself to calm down, that I’m just too invested. I’ve worked closely with her for years. We’ve become more than just coworkers. We’re friends and I truly care about her. Yep, I’m too close.
I go back to my office and grab my things. As I’m walking out, I tell Cheryl to take down any messages because I won’t be reachable for the rest of the day. Minutes later, I’m climbing behind the wheel and speeding down the road.
As frustrated as I am with Wren, I need to practice what I preach and either shit or get off the pot. I need to let these feelings for her go and not get emotionally involved in her life, or I need to take the chance and tell her how I feel about her.
6
Wren
Today will be a good day… Or so I thought.
The last thing I expected was to see Penn sitting on the steps of my office building. I was in such a good mood; I saw no signs of the creep who might be following me; I slept great, and honestly, I was excited to see Theo this morning. But then, it all went to shit.
“Coffee this morning?” Julie asks as I drag myself to my office.
“Yes, please,” I mumble as I take the notes from her hand and pass by to enter my office. I toss my purse into the bottom drawer and flop down pathetically in my chair. So much for my good day.
I drop the notes onto my desk and pull my phone out of my pocket to finally look at the missed calls and texts from Penn. I’m scrolling through the texts, each one getting more desperate than the one before as Julie walks back in with my cup of coffee.
She frowns, placing her hand on her cocked hip. “What’s wrong?”
“Huh? What do you mean?” I ask, snapping out of my daze.
“You’re not your usual bubbly self. Something is up. It’s written all over your face.” She gestures toward her own face, swirling her finger around.
“Oh.” I wave off her concern. “I just didn’t sleep well last night. I also haven’t had enough coffee. Give me time. I’ll get there,” I promise with a small smile.
She returns the smile and lets her hand fall away from her hip. “You know you can talk to me, right?”
Confused, I look up at her.
“I know you’re my boss and we don’t hang out outside of work, but that can change. I’m a really good listener, and well, I don’t really have a lot of friends so your secrets are always safe with me,” she says, tapping the side of her nose.
Her kindness makes me smile wider. “Thank you, Julie. But really, nothing is wrong. I’m just tired.”
“Okay, the offer still stands though,” she says, turning and walking out.
That was sweet of her. I love being known as the outgoing, bubbly girl around the office, but sometimes it’s even hard for me to compartmentalize what’s going on in my head with what I need to do at work. Usually I can plaster a smile on and pretend like nothing is bothering me even if it is, but today the burden feels too heavy to bear. Even if I don’t think about the man who may or may not be following me, I still have Penn and Theo to deal with. I’m single. I shouldn’t have to deal with any men, let alone two!
Deciding to push it all from my mind, I get started with work. First, I read over the messages Julie handed me, then I move on to returning phone calls. I check my email and reply when needed, and then I push my chair back to head to my first meeting of the day.
The morning passes slower than usual, but I have a feeling it’s more about my mood than the actual clock. Before I know it, it’s lunchtime and I’m walking out of the office to find Penn on the steps, waiting for me.
When he sees me, he stands and puts his big megawatt smile in place. It almost seems fake, like he’s pulling a mask down. It makes me uneasy. Why didn’t I notice this stuff when we were dating?
“Hey, you,” he says, pulling me in for a hug.
“Hi,” I reply, feeling awkward and not returning the hug.
“What are you in the mood for today?” He tries to take my hand as we walk down the steps, but I pull it back and start digging through my purse, pretending like I’m looking for something. Glancing at his face, I see that he’s watching me so I pull out my ChapStick and apply a fresh layer.
“Um, I don’t know. What sounds good to you?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know what’s around here. This is your turf. You pick.”
“Okay, well, there’s… Charlie’s around the corner. It’s a cool little bar and grill.”
“They have good burgers?” he asks, lifting his brow.
“The best.”
He nods once. “That’s where we’ll go then.”
The two of us walk around the corner and I lead the way into Charlie’s Sports Bar. The place is a dive but the locals love it. It’s totally kitsch; the walls are a dark hunter green and adorned with old movie and sports posters. There’s even an old jukebox in the back along with a pool table.
“I’m really glad you decided to come out with me. I’ve been spending a lot of time alone lately. It’s nice to have someone to talk to again,” he says as the hostess ushers us into a booth and hands us our menus.
I look up with a smile, not wanting to get into it with him too much. I know every word that comes out of his mouth is just another way of manipulating me. He wants me to feel bad for him so I’ll take him back. It won’t work. I can’t let it work… again.
“Penn, we’re just a couple of friends having lunch, alright? That’s it.”
He nods but his eyes tell me that my comment stings. “I know. So, what have you been up to?”