“I’m sick of these games. It’s like every single day is the same fucking day. I’ve lived this life since I was five years old, and I’m sick of it. I want no part of it, but I’ve no choice. Until I find Babydoll, I’m forced to do Sean’s biddin’.”
Cian’s fight has simmered, and even though we’re far from being okay, the fact he hasn’t left means he hasn’t given up on me—yet.
“What are ye goin’ to do?”
This conversation is one we had in what feels like a lifetime ago, but the stakes are so much higher this time around. “It took crashing yer truck into a tree for me to realize that I refuse to surrender. I was feelin’ sorry for myself, but that won’t bring Babydoll back. I have to do what I’ve done my entire life.”
“And what’s that?”
Leveling Cian with nothing but honesty, I reply, “Fight.”
The pity party for one is over. It’s time I got my head out of my arse and go get my girl.
“And how do ye plan on doin’ that?”
“Any way I need to. No one is off-limits. I will find her, Cian. Even if I have to tear this fucking country apart with my bare hands, I’ll find her.”
He nods, understanding that I will sacrifice anything, anyone to get her back, which is why no one is safe around me. If Sean asked me to prove my loyalty by killing everyone I loved to get her back…I would.
A knock on my door has both Cian and I looking at one another, ready to attack if we need to.
Reaching for the gun off the couch, I quietly walk to the front door. I don’t ask who it is as I open it. Who I see standing in front of me has me exhaling in relief.
“Ethan.”
“Can I come in?” he sheepishly asks, not knowing if I’ll throw him out as I did to Hannah. But I don’t.
Stepping aside, I open the door wider, allowing him entry.
This is the first time I’ve seen him since his return, and I’m happy he looks healthier than when I saw him last.
He and Cian shake hands as Cian was the one who rescued him and Eva while I was distracting Sean. How foolish I was to think that plan would work.
His chest is rising and falling rapidly, indicating he is nervous. I give him the time he needs.
Taking a closer look at him, I see he is the dead spit of Connor. He’s tall with the same color brown hair and sharp blue eyes as his dad. He still needs to grow into his physique, but when he does, he’ll be an unstoppable force.
The tattoo on his wrist, the same one as mine, has me angered and saddened all in the same breath. I wonder what Sean made him do. I wonder who he made him kill.
“I know ye don’t want to see any of us, but I needed to come here. It’s been eatin’ me up inside, Punky.” He works his bottom lip between his teeth. “I wanted to thank ya for what ye did. Ya sacrificed everythin’ to save Eva and me.
“I didn’t deserve it. Not after what I did.”
“Away ta fuck. I won’t be hearin’ that.”
“Naw, I mean it,” Ethan says stubbornly. “I tried to fucking kill ye. I’m ashamed of myself. Can ya forgive me?”
“There’s nothin’ to forgive, Ethan,” I reply softly. “Sean is a manipulator. I don’t blame ya for fallin’ into his trap. I’m just sorry I couldn’t stop him.”
“Ya can’t save the world, Punky,” Ethan says, which is something I’ve been told before. “I made the choice. It was the wrong one, but I’ll own that, and I will do everythin’ I can to make amends for it.
“Sean has Cami?”
They all know that’s the reason I’ve acted so reckless and pushed them away. I didn’t want to involve them, but it seems I can’t stop them, no matter how hard I try.
“Aye,” I reply with regret. “Rory was the one who handed her over to Sean.”
“Away on!”
“And that’s why…I killed him.”
Ethan’s mouth hinges open.
I want to give full disclosure because if they want to be involved, they all need to know what they’re getting themselves into.
“I don’t know where she is, and if I don’t do what Sean wants, I’ll never find her.”
“This is my fault,” Ethan gasps, turning an awful shade of white.
“Naw, it is not,” I counter, stepping forward. “This is my fault. And Sean’s. But I’ll make it right. How’s Eva?”
I haven’t been able to face her. I’m ashamed I allowed her sister to be taken when I promised to protect her.
“She’s all right. She’s tough, just like her sister,” Ethan says with a smile; a smile I recognize. It seems my baby brother has fallen hard as well. “She’s refusin’ to go back to America.”
“And she’s just as stubborn as her sister too, it seems,” I add, which gives me hope that Babydoll is still alive.
She wouldn’t go down without a fight. She’s also smart. Wherever she is, I have to believe she’s okay and just biding her time until she’s found.
“Sure, this is it,” Ethan agrees, his smile widening. “I wanted to tell ya somethin’. I don’t know if it’ll help.”
I wait for him to continue.
“Sean made me do some messed up things, but the weirdest was that once a month, I was to drop an envelope filled with cash into a lady’s letterbox. It was never addressed. Just a white envelope stuffed full of money.”
I arch a brow because this is news to me.
“How’d ya know it was a lady?”
“’Cause, one day, I waited and hid to see who it was. It was a lady. She has a baby. I didn’t recognize her, but for Sean to give her money…she must be someone important?”
“Aye, she is, and yer goin’ to take me to her.”
Ethan nods, appearing pleased I’ve asked for his help. But we have one issue, as I’m certain Ethan rode his bike here.
I don’t have a truck anymore, so I look at Cian, who sighs. “This is the last time, Punky. I can’t be involving myself in yer shite anymore.”
He tosses me his keys, and I’m impressed he drove here with his arm in a sling.
However, no matter what Cian says, we both know those famous last words mean nothing.
I don’t know what to expect, which seems to be how I’ve lived my life since I was released from prison. But this feels different somehow.
This could be the missing piece I’ve been searching for. This could be Sean’s collateral.
I keep to the speed limit as I don’t want to rouse any suspicion. The cloak of darkness allows us to travel undetected, but I’m not naïve. For Sean to give this lady money means he values her for whatever reason. Therefore, I’m certain he has eyes on her house.
We have to be careful.
“It’s just up the street,” Ethan says, leaning forward from the back seat and pointing at a row of houses. There’s nothing special or familiar about them, which just adds to the mystery.
I slow down and slip into a parking space.
“What do we do now? We can’t just go knockin’ on her front door.”
Cian is right, but I’m not going to sit here either. I need a decoy…and I see one in the form of a young lady walking a fluffy dog with a pink diamond collar.