Adrian studies me intently, his inquisitive gaze piercing through me, tearing me apart to reach the very marrow of my bones.
If I expected any joy or relief, I get nothing. A muscle works in his jaw and he pulls his fist back so that he can slam it against the wall again. I flinch, but it’s more out of worry at the thought of him hurting his knuckles.
“Apparently, the first thing you did upon remembering was to meet your lover.”
“No, no…” I hold onto his hand, needing the closeness. “I know how it looked from your perspective, but that wasn’t the case.”
“You obviously planned to meet him, Lia.”
“It’s because I saw Winter in the guest house and thought I had no place in your life. That’s why I wanted to leave.”
I realize how wrong my words are the moment they’re out.
“You wanted to leave,” Adrian repeats slowly, menacingly.
“I don’t want to anymore. I swear.”
He lets his hand fall from the wall just so he can grab me by the chin using two fingers. They’re rough, meant to punish and hurt, but the only thing I’m focused on is the blood marring his busted knuckles.
Before I can reach for them or try to soothe them, Adrian tilts my head back with a tight grip. “You might have forgotten a few things, so let me remind you, Lia. You are my wife. Fucking mine. That means you don’t protect another man in my damn presence. No matter how much you try to shield him, I’ll find the bastard and kill him. Then, I’ll keep my promise and fuck you in his blood.”
I see it then. The closing off. The simmering anger that will eventually cool into indifference.
That’s what happened before. He was so angry that he refused to touch me for fear he’d hurt me and then he drew away.
I was stupid enough to let it happen in the past. And by doing that, I ultimately hurt myself. I gave up all control to my demons and let them dictate my fate and my life.
That won’t be the case anymore.
Even if my insides are shriveling at the thought of being rejected, even if my mind is still swimming with a million gloomy scenarios, I know one thing for certain.
I need to keep Adrian.
I have to stop him from closing himself off to me.
And the only way to do that is to use the methods he did when he wanted me with him.
Before my nerves get the better of me, I lower myself on my knees.
This time, I’ll be the one who gives.
6
Lia
For the first time since I’ve known Adrian, I get on my knees.
Not so he can punish or fuck me from behind, but for him.
Because I want to give him something.
Usually, he’s the one who initiates sexual activities and I’m there for the ride. I love his rough handling and unapologetic sexual drive. I love that he never seems to get enough of me.
And now, I want to use that so he doesn’t retreat back to his highly built walls.
Due to his indifference, I went crazy the first time. I went so crazy that I thought it was a good idea to send a strange lookalike to him, and then I jumped off a cliff.
I don’t think I can do that anymore. I can’t handle that side of him.
So I choose to do something I never have.
Adrian stares down at me with drawn brows and eyes so gray, they blacken in the darkness. I don’t even care that we’re in a semi-public place and that anyone can walk by and see me on my knees in front of him. I feel that if I don’t do this now, I’ll lose him. Maybe not right away, but it’ll happen in the long run like before.
I reach for his belt and unbuckle it, my thighs clenching at the reminder of the amount of both pleasure and pain this belt has brought me over the years.
He lets me free his cock, and I have to use both hands to clutch him. They tremble slightly around his length as it hardens in an instant at my touch.
“What are you doing, Lia?”
Staring up at him, I offer him what we both want. “Fuck my mouth, Adrian.”
“You actually think I want to after what I just witnessed?”
I glide my hand from the root up and then down, adding pressure until I’m jacking him off, mimicking the same level of violence that he usually uses on himself before he comes all over my breasts, ass, or pussy. “You do. You love punishing me.”
My pace picks up, relying on pure instinct as I lean over and lick the precum from the tip and suck him into my mouth.
A deep groan spills from his lips and I use it as an incentive to quicken what I’m doing. A weird sense of empowerment mixed with arousal hits me. My thighs clench and my heart thunders so loud, it nearly bursts my chest open.
I’m the one who’s giving him pleasure now, the reason he’s releasing the appreciative noises and thickening in my mouth. Right in this moment, I’m the only one who can grant him release.
Adrian sinks his strong, lean fingers into my hair, then tugs me back by it. I don’t release the tip of his cock or loosen my hands as I stare up at him.
His height is blocking the dim light coming through the entrance of the alleyway and he looks like a general, a warrior.
Or maybe he’s just still the devil.
Because despite the lust shining in his ash eyes, his features are as hard as granite, glinting with the promise of pain.
“Remove your hands, Lia.”
I drop them to my lap, eager to let him take control. I might love having these reactions from him, but I think my real pleasure has always been when Adrian owns me wholly.
Body.
Heart.
And soul.
“I know you’ve been texting him,” he says with a feigned calm that chills me to the bones. “Did you think I wouldn’t know just because you deleted the texts?”
I shake my head and start to inch away so I can speak, so I can explain, but Adrian thrusts his cock to the back of my throat. My gag reflex kicks in and I slap both palms on his thighs.
My nails dig into his pants, but that doesn’t deter him as he pulls back the slightest bit before slamming back inside and holding it there. He chokes me, confiscating my air and leaving me hanging by a thread.
“I only let it slide to see how far you’d go, Lia. How fucking much you’d betray me.”
I want to deny it, to tell him that I thought I was an imposter, that I was jealous of my own self because I didn’t have him. Because I believed he loved another woman and not me.
However, Adrian doesn’t allow me any room to breathe, let alone talk.
My lungs burn from the lack of oxygen and tears cling to my lids at the way he keeps holding his dick at the back of my throat.
“Did you let him fuck your mouth, too? My mouth?”
I attempt to shake my head, but I’m too dizzy and without air.
I think I’ll faint.
That I will blackout from being choked by his cock.
However, he finally pulls his length out, and I sputter for air, coughing, my lungs aching from exertion.
“A-Adrian, I—” Before I can take a full gulp of air, he’s pounding in again with a merciless rotation of his hips, pushing all the way in.
Even with him fucking my throat, he’s still not completely inside my mouth. He’s too big for that and his cock is too thick.
His other hand grips my jaw with two fingers and tilts my chin up. “Did you look up at him with these fucking tears in your eyes?”