Koda fought the urge to press his hand against his stomach to quell the butterflies. “He texted me right after I left the party, wanting to work. I had Zayn drop me off at the studio and then I convinced Felix being here would be better than working.” Koda hesitated. He had to be honest. “Mostly, I just wanted you to meet him.”
Silence met his confession. After a moment, Elena squeezed his knee. “I know I’m always bugging you to give Zayn a chance, but I think this one is a better fit for you. I don’t think Zayn will ever want more than to take you to bed. More than anything, I want you settled. This one has a hunger in his eyes. He wants you, and I’m not talking about that cute booty I created. I’m sure he wants that too, but that’s not what I’m seeing right now. Felix has a matured desire. He wants all of you.”
Koda nodded as his mom spoke. There was a knot in his throat. Koda wasn’t scared of much, but he was terrified of love. Sex was something he understood. It was uncomplicated. A real relationship had the power to break him. No one other than his family had claimed to love him before. The idea of it shook Koda to his bones. Koda wasn’t sure he cared to experience that, but he liked knowing Felix wanted him. It was a conundrum.
“Ope. Here he comes. Let me know how it goes.”
His mom slipped away.
Koda held his breath, waiting as they exchanged a few pleasantries. Then Felix filled his mom’s seat. Koda found himself leaning Felix’s way and latching on to Felix’s arm with no real plan.
Felix leaned his way too. The surrounding noise disappeared. It felt like they were alone. “I like your family. They love you.”
A smile tugged at the corners of Koda’s mouth. “You gathered all that in the short time you were gone?”
“I’m intuitive. Plus, your uncle demanded to know my net worth to ensure I can buy you pretty things. When I hedged, he whipped out his phone and Googled me. Apparently, according to ‘the Wiki,’ I’m worth three hundred million.”
Koda bit the inside of his cheek. He tried really hard. The Italian nosiness won. “Are you worth three hundred million?” It didn’t really matter to him how much money Felix had, but that was a lot.
A sexy chuckle caressed Koda’s ears. “I guess that depends on who you ask: Wiki or my ex-wife’s lawyers. They tried to take me for half of five hundred million.”
Koda’s smile fell at the reminder of an ex-wife. He had known Felix for years. Koda had been there when Felix’s ex-wife Megan had cheated and when Felix had fallen for one of his clients’ twin. He had been there when Felix had gotten his heart broken by the twin, and when Megan had dragged him through the mud. Felix had remained mostly silent throughout. He had suffered alone.
“Sorry. I shouldn’t have brought up Megan.”
At Felix’s claim, Koda realized he had been quiet for too long. “No. I’m your friend. You can talk to me about whatever you want. I want you to talk to me.”
Felix leaned even closer. Koda squeezed his arm a little tighter. Felix’s voice turned sultry. “Am I your friend?”
Koda didn’t know how to respond. The obvious answer was yes, but also no. Koda didn’t want to be friends. He wanted to be more, but he didn’t know how much more. Felix made him a little crazy.
“Um. There’s some dude built like a bull bearing down on us, looking like he wants to kick my ass.”
At Felix’s words, Koda blinked, coming back to reality. “Is it an Asian guy with tattoos and a baby face?”
“Yep.”
“Fuck. That’s Zayn.”
“May I speak to you alone?” The barked words floated down from above him.
Koda pasted on a bright smile at Zayn’s dark tone, hoping to pretend it was just another day. “Of course.” He shifted to his feet and Zayn grabbed his hand to help. Koda fought the urge to yank his hand away. He fucking hated being treated like he couldn’t do things on his own. Since he had convinced Zayn to abandon their plans to have sex and to drop him off to hang out with another dude, Koda needed to be a little more passive. Now wasn’t the time to assert his independence.
Zayn didn’t speak until they were in the house. The moment they were closed inside the mudroom, Zayn stood too close. “What the fuck is going on? I left you at the studio so you could work. Then I get a call from my mom saying you’re right back here with a date.”
Koda stroked Zayn’s chest, because he knew Zayn would let him. Damn. It was hard. “I’m not on a date. Felix is my record producer. He wanted to get started on some upcoming album work I have scheduled, but you had already gotten me out of the mood to work. So I convinced him to come meet the family instead.”
He felt Zayn relax. “Oh. I’m sorry. It’s just you two looked pretty cozy when I walked in.”
It was hard to keep smiling. Koda felt like an ass. This was exactly why he had spent so much time avoiding his mom’s matchmaking. No good could come of being with Zayn. Their families were too close, and Koda didn’t want to settle down… mostly, he didn’t want to settle. “Felix has been my producer for twelve years. He’s my friend.”
“Oh.” Despite the sheepishness in Zayn’s voice, Koda didn’t relax. He didn’t feel entirely safe being alone with Zayn. Zayn was too big. Between Zayn’s size and Koda’s lack of sight, Koda was at too much of a disadvantage. Zayn stroked Koda’s cheek. Koda flinched. He hadn’t expected Zayn to touch him. “I guess I’ve ruined things now.”
Koda didn’t respond. He didn’t want to lead Zayn on.
Zayn took a step back and took a deep breath before releasing it. It was a loud sound in the otherwise quiet mudroom. “Tell your friend I’m sorry for being rude. Maybe by next Saturday you’ll forgive me, and we can try again.”
“There’s nothing to forgive,” Koda said automatically. “This was just a misunderstanding. We’ve known each other too long to make a big deal of anything.” He hoped Zayn understood his double meaning. Koda didn’t want there to be any anger between them, but he didn’t want more either. Zayn wasn’t the one for him.
“Of course. I’m going to sneak out the front door. Enjoy the party.”
Before Koda responded, Zayn was back in his space. His lips brushed the corner of Koda’s mouth. He didn’t back away. Zayn lingered, as if waiting for Koda to turn his head and make the next move. Koda held still.
Zayn finally took a step back. “See you soon.”
Koda had no idea how long he stood there once he was alone. Most days, Koda was fine with himself and the life he had been given. Some days, like today, Koda didn’t like himself very much.