His hand went back to his mouse, and he shifted it so the screen would light up again. He glanced at his food to take a bite, but most of his attention was on whatever he was reading.
“I have your schedule for tomorrow.” I put the papers on his desk. “You have a heart valve replacement scheduled with the residents. It’s scheduled at ten, so you can sleep in a bit. I’ll have your breakfast delivered at eight thirty, so you can get a good meal before you have to scrub in. Any requests?”
He shook his head. “Everything you pick out is good.”
“Great.” I gave a slight smile, still enjoying his positive feedback even when I should just be angry with him. It was the weirdest thing. I wasn’t really angry with him at all. I was just sad, sad that I’d lost this man, lost the best thing that had ever happened to me…even if that relationship only lasted a few weeks. It felt like a lifetime. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”
“Good night.” He continued to look at his computer and then started to type. “I don’t know if I’ve ever told you this, but your notes have dropped my charting time by like seventy percent. It’s really helpful.”
Maybe he was just trying to smooth things over by kissing my ass, but it was still nice to get a compliment about my work anyway. “I’m glad I can be of service to you.” I grabbed my things then departed his office. “See you tomorrow.”
His voice followed me as I stepped out. “Yeah, see you tomorrow.”
I went to the Trinity Building on my way home to check in with Cleo. She was my unofficial boss, still helping and giving me advice because I’d only been working with Dex for three months. Her husband ran his own company, so she’d taught me so much about running the office and how to address Dex’s needs as efficiently as possible.
But when I approached her desk and took a seat, it was obvious she knew everything about what happened with Dex and me because of the look she gave me.
Our relationship was over so quickly that I hadn’t even had the chance to tell her we were together in the first place. I sat in the chair and stared at her, feeling like I was with my own mother, a woman who loved me and hurt when I hurt.
She moved her hand to my arm and gave me an affectionate squeeze. “I’m so sorry, honey…”
It hurt even more that she talked to me the way she talked to Dex, like she had the same affection for me that she did for her own children, like I was part of the family. “I’m okay…”
She moved her hand to my back and rubbed me gently. “It’s okay not to be okay, Sicily.”
“We were only together for a couple weeks… It’s stupid to be that sad about it.”
“Length of time is irrelevant when it comes to falling in love. I loved my husband within the first week, and I knew I would never stop loving him, no matter how much time had passed, no matter what he did, because it was unconditional—instantly.”
That actually made me feel worse, because that was exactly how I felt.
She continued to rub my back, looking down into my face with pain in her own eyes. “Sometimes men don’t know what’s best for them, even when it’s looking them straight in the face. Dex is better at those sorts of things than his father, but I think…I think the timing just wasn’t right.”
I nodded. “Yeah, I shouldn’t have told him how I felt. That was stupid.”
“It’s never stupid to tell someone how you really feel. But unfortunately, Dex just isn’t in the right place. I always knew Catherine screwed him up badly, but I never really understood how deep her knife went until now. I’m so sorry that my son hurt you, and I don’t think you deserved that. But I hope you know that’s not the kind of man he is. He would never hurt you on purpose. He’s just…lost right now.”
“Yes…I do know.” I knew Dex was the most loving and caring person I’d ever met. I’d seen it firsthand. He just wasn’t ready to give more than he could, and I was the selfish one to ask him when he wasn’t ready. “Now I don’t know what to do.”
“Are you going to keep working for him?”
I nodded.
“Because no one would judge you if you stopped.”
“I already lost him. I can’t lose my job. I love it so much. I’ve never been so passionate about anything in my life.”
Her eyes filled with warmth. “That’s really selfless of you, Sicily. You really are perfect for my son… I just hope he realizes that someday.”
I wouldn’t wait around for that to happen. Who knew when he’d be in a place to have a relationship again? Let alone even want a relationship after everything he’d been through. I wanted the Dex I saw at work, the man who was compassionate, dedicated, loving… I wanted that version of him. I didn’t want the guarded and hurt version of him, someone who would never be able to give me all of himself. “It doesn’t matter if he does. I just need to move on. I would settle for half of his heart because I want him so much, but I deserve the whole thing. I need to let it go and move on.”
Cleo gave a nod in agreement. “I think you’re really special, Sicily. I think you’re not only beautiful, but you’re kind and warm, so caring and selfless, and while I’d love you for my son, I think you deserve a man’s entire heart, a man who would treat you the way I want someone to treat my daughter. So, I think it’s for the best. Find your happiness, and don’t wait for a train that may never come.”
I left the office then headed to the main doors so I could depart the Trinity Building, ready to go home and eat something since I hadn’t really had time to put anything in my stomach.
At that moment, Deacon walked inside, wearing a suit and tie, like he had a meeting. He was usually dressed casually like Dex, but today, he looked like a powerhouse I barely recognized. His suit was perfectly tailored, designer quality, and his jaw was clean-shaven, giving him a youthful look. Without the subtle wrinkles around his eyes, you would never accurately guess his age. He was so fit and trim, so handsome. The only thing that stuck out was the watch he wore, which wasn’t expensive or fancy.
His eyes narrowed on my face, and he walked forward, headed right toward me. He looked so much like his son Derek that it was like looking at a twin brother. His eyes filled with a quick look of pity as his hand slid into the pocket of his slacks. “Sicily, how are you?”
“I’m okay,” I said with a shrug. “I just talked to Cleo, and I feel a little better.”
He gave a slight nod. “Good. She’s the best at stuff like that.”
“Yeah, she is.” I gave a smile. “Well…I’ll see you around.”
Before I could depart, he took a subtle step in my way. “Sicily.”
It felt like a command even though he didn’t raise his voice or turn possessive at all. He just had this natural power that got people to do whatever he wanted. I stopped and faced him again.
“I wish things had turned out differently. You have no idea how much.” Sincerity was in his eyes, blanketing me with fatherly affection, like he’d taken a liking to me just the way his wife did, accepting me into their family when I didn’t have to do a single thing to earn their warmth.