And then came his father’s stroke. Steve, who was close to him, had been distraught. Sarah should have been there more for him, but she’d been struggling herself to look after Ollie whilst also working full time. She’d been so tired, and looking back, she supposed she’d needed support too, especially after an early miscarriage, which, since Steve was dealing with so much emotionally, she hadn’t mentioned. She’d told herself she could cope. Both of them exhausted and emotional, they’d ended up arguing. Eventually, they hadn’t even argued. They’d simply stopped communicating.
Sarah shook herself. She hated dwelling on the past. She had Ollie, a future to look forward to. It had come out of the blue, though; Steve suddenly making the momentous decision to move in with someone else had rocked the foundations of the life she was trying to rebuild for her and her child.
‘Another drink?’ Joe asked, indicating her glass – which she’d just emptied rather too quickly, she realised. ‘I thought you might want to cheer us on rather than get involved in the footie practice, since you’re wearing heels.’
Sarah looked down at her feet. The shoes were wedges, but too high to run around a pub garden in. Should she have another drink? She didn’t want to end up tipsy in charge of her son. A small one couldn’t hurt, though. She’d hardly been out since splitting with Steve – thus the great ‘what to wear’ dilemma. And she was with Joe, a police officer, who really was one of the kindest people she knew. She could relax a little, surely? Let her hair down and enjoy herself? ‘Why not?’ She smiled, grateful that he was taking Ollie under his wing while she was feeling so distracted. ‘I’ll have another white wine, please. A large one.’
‘Sure?’ Joe asked. ‘I wouldn’t want you to think I was plying you with alcohol.’ He was joking, but Sarah noted the concern in his eyes; a myriad of rich forest greens that conveyed his every emotion.
‘Positive,’ she said, her own eyes gliding over him. She doubted the thought would enter Joe’s head, but she couldn’t deny that the prospect of making love with him was tempting, curling into his firm body afterwards and lying safe in his embrace as she had done years ago. Why had they stopped going out together? Different lives and aspirations, she supposed. Joe had gone off to his police training course in Worcester, while she’d applied to complete her Level 3 in canine care, working one day at the dog rescue trust in Evesham. Somehow their various commitments took over and life ran away with them. They’d moved on. Sarah had loved Steve, thought he’d loved her. She would never regret her relationship with him. Without him, she wouldn’t have Ollie, who was her world, but she did wonder now how she’d ever let Joe go. ‘I’ll try not to go over on my wedges or do anything else to embarrass you,’ she added with a teasing smile.
‘I doubt there’s anything you could do that would embarrass me, Sarah.’ Giving her a mischievous wink, Joe moved to help Ollie, who was in the process of scrambling off the bench after his ball. For all her worries – the frightening prospect of single parenthood, Steve now moving on so swiftly he obviously hadn’t paused to draw breath – she was content in that moment, watching this capable man filling the gap in Ollie’s life. Thinking she might be wise to give herself some breathing space, she hadn’t been contemplating going out with anyone again so soon, but maybe Joe was just the man she needed, someone she could depend on, with no baggage or secrets in his closet.
Two
Joe
‘Joe?’ someone called behind him as he stood at the bar. Turning around to see who it was, he almost wished he hadn’t.
‘Fancy meeting you here,’ his ex-wife said, her expression somewhere between pleased and shocked.
She wasn’t half as shocked as he was. The last time he’d seen her was when he’d stuffed a few clothes in a holdall and walked out three months ago, wishing to God he’d had the strength to do it sooner. Courtney had wanted to talk things through. Joe hadn’t. Having witnessed her with her ex the night before, he’d doubted very much he would be able to be civil. It was a work meeting, she’d said, which was bullshit. He’d known way before then that she was cheating on him. He hadn’t realised how spectacularly, though. She and her ex both worked in the glitzy world of advertising, so she’d always had an excuse for seeing him. The man drove a fancy car, a BMW Z4 sport model, the kind of car Joe could only ever dream of. The car he’d eventually realised they were having sex in – he hadn’t needed to be a detective to work that out. Following her a few times when she’d gone out dressed to kill had given him all the evidence he needed. The bloke enjoyed illicit sex, it seemed; since he was with someone else and Courtney was married, shagging her qualified, obviously. When he’d eventually caught them in the act, Joe felt as if he’d been kicked in the gut. Parked in a secluded spot, they were fucking over the bonnet. Not much room in the back, he’d supposed, feeling sick to his soul. He’d got then why she’d never wanted to start a family. She wasn’t in love with him. She never had been. He’d been the bit of rough she’d fancied, that was all, possibly an attempt to make her ex jealous. Somehow they’d ended up getting married. It had been a volatile relationship. It was bound to be, he realised looking back, when it had been so one-sided.
‘You’re looking good,’ she said now, her eyes – meticulously made up as always – roving leisurely over him.
‘You too,’ he responded with a short smile. She usually did, he reminded himself, dressing in the tightest of clothes to show off her figure. She was showing it off now, wearing slim-cut jeans and a skin-hugging top. Courtney always knew how to turn heads.
‘So how are you?’ she asked, stepping towards him.
‘Fine,’ he said. Better for not constantly doubting myself, he didn’t add. ‘You?’
‘Okay. You know …’ She shrugged, her gaze flitting down and back. ‘Are you with someone?’ She glanced curiously around.
Joe considered. ‘A friend,’ he said eventually, not wanting to bring Sarah, who was everything Courtney wasn’t – natural and caring – into the conversation.
‘Ah.’ She nodded knowingly, a flicker of regret in her eyes.
‘What brings you to this neck of the woods?’ he asked, assuming she and the hotshot were slumming it, since they usually met in more salubrious places than a local pub with a beer garden. He hoped he didn’t run into the bastard. He still felt sorely tempted to deck him.
‘Girls’ night,’ she said, waving over her shoulder.
‘Oh, right.’ Joe was surprised. Courtney didn’t generally do girls’ nights. Not her type of thing, she’d said. Far too rowdy.
‘We should meet up sometime,’ she suggested. ‘Have a chat.’
A chat? Right. Joe smiled cynically. ‘I’m not sure we have anything to chat about, Courtney. Do we?’
She glanced down again. He supposed she had the good grace to look contrite, even if she wasn’t. Admitting she was wrong wasn’t generally Courtney’s thing either.
‘There’s the apartment,’ she reminded him. ‘We should probably put it on the market at some point, assuming you don’t want to—’