Steve glanced briefly at her. ‘She has. She got him a few things to make him feel settled, including the Magicube dinosaur set, by the way. I thought I should let you know, as you mentioned you might be getting him one for his birthday.’
‘Oh.’ Sarah knitted her brow. ‘Yes, I was.’ She’d also mentioned it to Laura, so why would she have …?
‘Dinosaurs?’ Ollie said excitedly, his big blue eyes like saucers.
‘Yup.’ Steve chuckled and gave him a squeeze. ‘We’ll have a whale of a time, won’t we?’
Obviously she’d already bought it when Sarah had mentioned it, but hadn’t wanted to say anything for fear of upsetting her – hence the reason Steve was telling her now. Swallowing back her huge disappointment and trying hard not to mind, she leaned in to kiss Ollie’s cheek before Steve disappeared with him. ‘Be good for Daddy and Laura,’ she said, blinking back the tears she didn’t want her little man to see.
‘I will,’ Ollie promised, flinging his arms around her neck. God, she was going to miss him.
‘Bye, Joe.’ Ollie gave him a wave.
‘See you soon, mate.’ Joe waved back, at which Steve looked po-faced, making Sarah feel even more guilty, if that were possible.
Turning away, Steve hit his key fob, and Sarah followed him to his car to drop Ollie’s bag into the boot while Steve strapped him into his seat.
Giving Ollie an enthusiastic smile, she waited for Steve to close the door before she spoke. ‘We’re not where we’re at because of me, Steve. It was a mutual decision for us to part,’ she pointed out, still feeling guilty, but also angry that he was so furious with her. He’d said he hadn’t got together with Laura until after they’d broken up, but given what she now knew about where Laura worked, there was no way she could believe the attraction hadn’t been there, even if they hadn’t done anything about it. If they had been having an affair, Steve wasn’t likely to admit it, and she wasn’t about to ask him now. He really had no right to stand in judgement on her, though.
He sighed apologetically. ‘I know. It’s just … Look, I’ll give you a call later. We’ll have a chat then,’ he said, obviously reluctant to discuss it here on the drive with their son already in the car.
Knowing he was right – Ollie had already overheard more than he should have – Sarah nodded. ‘I’ll get him the Wheelybug,’ she said, attempting some kind of truce. ‘In place of the Magicube. You know, the ride-on animals that go round and round as well as forwards and backwards? He’s wanted one for ages, so …’
Steve nodded in turn, and managed a less loaded smile. ‘Talk soon.’
Offering him a small smile back, Sarah blew Ollie a kiss through the window, and then trailed back to the front door. As she watched them go, her heart squeezed painfully. She had to get used to this, saying goodbye to the little boy who’d never stayed away from home until now. Seeing his empty bed at night was going to be unbearable.
‘Okay?’ Joe asked softly, walking up behind her and giving her shoulders a gentle squeeze.
Sarah wiped the back of her hand across her cheeks and turned towards him. ‘No, not really,’ she admitted. ‘I feel like I’m missing a limb suddenly.’
‘You’re bound to.’ Joe eased her towards him. ‘Just try to take some time out and gather your resources.’
‘Resources?’ Sarah glanced curiously at him. Despite their intention to end things amicably, to always put Ollie first, were she and Steve going to be constantly arguing now? Joe obviously thought they were. She couldn’t bear to imagine how that would affect Ollie.
‘For parenthood,’ Joe clarified. ‘I haven’t got kids, but I can see it’s not easy.’
‘It’s not,’ Sarah admitted with a small smile. ‘Kids don’t come with an instruction manual. Nor do relationships, unfortunately.’
‘No,’ Joe empathised. ‘It would be a hell of a lot easier if they did.’
Needing his arms around her, Sarah leaned back into him. ‘Do you think he’ll be okay?’
‘Of course he will.’ Joe held her close. ‘It’s pretty obvious he loves his dad, and vice versa.’
Sarah nodded, but still she couldn’t shake the uneasiness that had crept through her when Steve had said that Laura had found meeting her traumatic. ‘Why do you think she said that?’ she asked. ‘That I’d given her a hard time?’
She’d thought they’d got along well, all things considered. Why on earth would Laura tell Steve that they hadn’t?
Seven
Laura
‘All done?’ Laura asked, turning from the dishwasher as Steve came down after bathing Ollie.
‘All done – and I think I’m just about done in.’ Steve rolled his eyes good-naturedly as he came across to her. ‘We had a pillow fight. Ollie won.’
Noting his hair was damp and in complete disarray, Laura laughed. ‘You look it. He’s a bundle of energy, isn’t he?’
‘Definitely that.’ Steve smiled fondly. ‘He’s a good kid, though.’
Laura reached to smooth his fringe from his forehead. ‘You’ve missed him, haven’t you?’
‘And some,’ he admitted gruffly. ‘Thanks for doing this, Laura.’
‘What?’ She widened her eyes in surprise. ‘I haven’t done much, apart from feeding him.’
‘Playing with him, making time for him.’ Steve pulled her into his arms. ‘Having him here. It means a lot.’
‘How could a girl resist when he’s a little replica of his father?’ She brushed his lips softly with hers.
‘But cuter.’ Steve smiled and kissed her nose.
‘Obviously.’ Laura had to agree with that. Ollie had that cheeky little-boy smile that could melt hearts. He’d melted hers as soon as she’d set eyes on him. She hadn’t quite been able to believe her eyes as she’d watched Steve, whom she’d only ever spoken to in passing, walking from his car to the hospice with him. She’d guessed he was his son immediately. With his blonde colouring, the boy had been a little replica of him.
After she’d seen Ollie that first time, she’d begun to visit Annie more often, growing as fond of the old woman as Annie had become of her. The window of Annie’s room, where she’d positioned her armchairs, looked out onto the street, allowing them to indulge in Annie’s favourite pastime of people-watching. Laura’s visits would conveniently coincide with Steve and Ollie’s arrival. When she’d heard that Steve’s father had deteriorated and that he’d made the decision not to bring Ollie again, she’d summoned up her courage and made an effort to speak to him. She’d soon learned his marriage was in trouble, and a kernel of panic had begun to take root inside her. The child would be a casualty. How could he not be? As she’d come to know Steve better, realising that he was steadfast and reliable, that he had a certain degree of humility, it had been easy to envisage a relationship with him. She felt safe with him. In turn, she vowed that she would keep his child safe, that she would be there for Ollie, provide him with the love and affection she herself had never had. It was as if fate had played a hand in bringing him to her. She wouldn’t let him down.