“Yep. She and Cooper are going to stay in tonight.”
She bounces her brows up and down, and jealousy zings through me again.
“Good grief. Is everyone getting laid except me?”
“Afraid so. I’d be more than happy to help find you someone to date. Or hook up with. Dating isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, you know.”
“Says the woman with the perfect boyfriend.”
She doesn’t bother hiding the lovesick smile on her face.
I glare at her. “Stop rubbing it in.”
“Sorry, not sorry.” She tosses her long, deep red hair over her shoulder. “Anyway, how’s my nephew doing?”
“Oddly enough, I’d just gotten off the phone with him when you arrived.”
“Oh crap. What’d the little shit do now? Burn the mac and cheese again?”
“No, thank god.” I shudder, still able to recall the smell of the burnt noodles. “But guess who didn’t show up again?”
She pulls a face. “Ugh, seriously?”
Patrick’s parenting style is similar to how he handled our marriage. He’s not a bad father, but he’s not the most attentive one either. Oftentimes his work gets priority over Sam, which is what happened tonight. He got a last-minute project from a client, has to fly out in the morning, and won’t be back until Wednesday.
I tell River this and she tsks. “Of course. Work first, offspring second.”
Part of me wants to laugh because River is as bad as Patrick when it comes to work sometimes.
Then again, she doesn’t have a child at home who needs her love and attention.
“Anyway, to make up for it, Patrick got some suite tickets to a hockey game. It’s Thursday and he wanted to check with me before he told his dad yes so my feelings weren’t hurt about him spending a day with his dad during my week.”
“Aww.” River clutches her chest. “Sometimes he can be so sweet.”
I grin, proud of the young man I’m raising.
I remember when I found out I was pregnant at sixteen. I still remember the way my hands shook as I held the pregnancy test, terrified of what the future held for me and my unborn baby.
Now, here I am thirteen years later, and I’m just as scared, just as worried about the future, only for different reasons.
“He can be. But I worry he’s going to think his dad is cooler than me because he can afford all the fun extra stuff.”
Although Patrick pays his fair share of child support, bills still stack up sometimes and I don’t always have the extra cash to throw into savings for those expenses that pop up out of nowhere…like being forced to move out of my apartment.
Plus, I’m more conservative with my money than Patrick is.
His family didn’t disown him when he got me pregnant. Mine did. I know what it’s like to lose that security blanket, and I don’t want that to ever happen again.
“Sam thinks you hung the moon,” she assures me. “You don’t have to worry about that at all.”
“He has to love me. I’m his mom and provide a roof over his head.”
“Speaking of…did you ever hear back on the apartment you had the lead on?”
I sink my teeth into my bottom lip, reminded of the email I got today.
My non-answer is answer enough, and the pity is back in River’s eyes. It’s the one thing I can’t stand, especially from her.
“Oh, Maya.” She blows out a heavy breath. “I’m so sorry.”
“I’ll figure it out.” I wave her off. “If I need to, I’ll call Patrick and he’ll help us out. I—”
“No way!” She shakes her head. “And give the jerk the satisfaction? Hell no. We’ll figure something out.”
We’ll.
She says it like we’re a team, and I guess that’s because we are.
I smile, and tears sting my eyes for the second time tonight.
Of course she has my back. She always does.
“I’ll put more feelers out. Maybe Darlene at The Gravy Train knows someone who’s looking for a tenant or a roommate.” I cringe at the word roommate, and she holds her hand up. “I know, I know. Having a roommate isn’t the ideal situation with Sam. But, if it’s your only option until you can find something better, it is what it is, you know?” She snaps her fingers. “Oh! I just had a crazy thought.”
“What?”
“Nolan.”
My heart jumps into my throat at the mention of him.
I can’t get the way he looked at me out of my mind. It was the kind of stare a girl could get used to, and I can’t afford to get used to it.
“What about him?”
“He’s looking for a room—”
She doesn’t get the full word out before I’m shaking my head.
“Absolutely not,” I say.
“But—”
I pin her with the same stare I do Sam when he’s attempting to argue his way out of—or into—something. “No buts. It’s a no.”
“Why not? Because he’s hot?”
Don’t react. Don’t react. Do not react.
“Because he’s a stranger.”
“True, but Dean and I can both vouch for him. Besides, it’s not permanent. It’s just until you hear back about your other applications.”
She has a point there…
But there’s no way I could live with Nolan.
I don’t know him. Sam doesn’t know him.
I can’t uproot my kid and move him into some random guy’s apartment because I suck at being an adult.
Especially when the guy made me squirm one too many times in such a short amount of time.
“No.” The word is final, maybe a little too sharp. “Please drop it.”
Her mouth floats open again, then she snaps it shut. She’s not mad, that much I can tell, and I know she wants to say something else.
I just don’t want to hear it.
“It’s dropped.” She grins. “Just let me know if I need to kick Dean out to the couch.”
She would, too, and as much as the idea pains me, staying with River might be the only choice I have in the end. But I refuse to accept her offer until I’ve run out of all my other options.
I don’t want to be anyone’s burden.
“Why am I sleeping on the couch now?” Dean slips a neat bourbon in front of River and takes the seat next to her.
She leans over and presses a quick kiss to his cheek in thanks.
I realize in this moment that Nolan has nowhere to sit but next to me.
My heart hammers in my chest, so hard I can hear it in my ears.
Ridiculous since I just spent quite a while sitting next to him flirting.
He slides another whiskey sour in front of me as he drops onto the stool next to me, and I give him a small smile.
But he doesn’t see it. He refuses to look at me.
“How’d you know Maya loves whiskey sours?” River questions him.
He lifts his big shoulders. “Who doesn’t love a whiskey sour?”
Dean coughs out a laugh, and Nolan looks the other way.
Huh.
“So, the couch?”
River glances at me, then at Nolan. She’s asking for permission to share what’s going on.