Part of my silence was just who I was. But another part, the bigger part, was that I didn’t want to lie. And I wanted my brothers, Billy especially, to remember our mama for the mother she was to him not for any other part of her life.
“I don’t talk about anyone.” That answer was all he was going to get.
I pushed the back door open and as soon as I was out in the fresh air, I took in a deep breath. One that burned my lungs. Whenever I thought about her or was asked to talk about her, it felt like the walls were closing in on me.
That feeling was why I hated it when people said time heals all wounds. In my opinion, that was a load of bullshit. Time didn’t heal anything. At best, time dulled things. But the pain, the searing pain, was still there. It was just under the surface of things. And whenever the topic of Sabrina Comfort came up, so did all the pain.
My brothers didn’t remember her the way I did. I don’t think my dad did either. She’d tried to tell Pop who she was, what she needed. But he had a temper. Whenever she would try to talk to him, to tell him that she was unhappy, or that she wanted things to change, he’d lose it. I did my best to protect my siblings from their fights. I’d put the TV on loud or have them listen to music with their headphones on.
I’m not sure anyone really knew her the way I did. She was only sixteen when she had me, and we sort of grew up together. I felt like it was us against the world. Pop was always gone at the bar, even before he owned it because he worked there. For six years, before Billy had been born, it had just been me and her.
Then Billy came along and I was her big helper. By the time Cheyenne and Jimmy showed up, I was doing the lion’s share of the work.
Sabrina Comfort was an amazing mom, she was loving, fun, adventurous and nurturing. What she wasn’t was organized or disciplined and she thought that schedule was a bad word. Since she was basically a single parent since my dad spent so much time with his mistress, the bar, it left me picking up a lot of the slack in those departments.
Even before she died, I’d done most of the heavy lifting when it came to homework, bedtimes, dinners, and chores. But I never imagined I’d have to do it all on my own though. I never imagined a world without her in it. Especially by her own choice.
CHAPTER 6
Skylar
“What are we doin’, Momma?” Luna asked as she walked beside me up to the entrance of Southern Comfort.
“We’re gonna try and get a job. And I need you to be on your best behavior.”
On our way to the Piggly Wiggly to get some grocery staples, I’d seen the Help Wanted sign and pulled in. I needed a job. Badly. And one that I could get cash in hand and not have to wait two weeks for a paycheck was going to be the difference between us eating Ramen noodles and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the next two weeks or not.
“After we get a job can we ride the trolley?” Luna folded her hands as she pleaded. “Please?”
When we’d stopped at a diner on our road trip, I’d looked up the town we’d be settling in. Firefly Island was a small, tourist town in Georgia. It had several tourist attractions, including a trolley that went around the island. When we’d gone to visit Ashley in college in California the previous summer, we’d ridden on a trolley in San Francisco. It had been the highlight of Luna’s trip. So that was one of the things I’d used to help her get on board with our adventure.
“Yes, Lu Lu, we can.”
As we approached the large wooden door, I stilled for a moment before going inside. It had been so long since I’d applied for a job. I’d worked at Bradford Designs for nearly a decade and I loved my job. But being a designer was something that took years to establish, it wasn’t something that I could do remotely or replace immediately here in Firefly.
Besides the people I’d miss in Seattle, my job was next on the list. But after the break-in and threats, I hadn’t had a choice. I’d had to leave it and everything else behind for a fresh start.
My hand rested on my belly as nerves bubbled up in me.
“Does your tummy hurt, Momma?” Luna placed her hand over mine and looked up at me with the sweetest expression of concern.
“No, baby, it’s just butterflies,” I assured her before pushing the door open.
My eyes were still adjusting to the darkened surroundings when I heard a man’s voice.
“Sorry, ladies. We’re not open yet.”
“Oh, um, actually, I was just coming…” I motioned behind me as the door shut. When it did I was able to make out a man standing behind the bar. “I was driving by and I saw the Help Wanted sign in the window.”
“Oh right.” He set down his paperwork and lifted the flip hatch and walked through the opening. “Come on in. I’m Billy Comfort.”
As he walked toward me, I noticed that he had nice eyes and a welcoming smile. I immediately felt relaxed and less on edge, which I was sure made him great at his job. I’d been a cocktail waitress and then bartender for years when I was going to school and raising Ashley. I’d always considered the job part mixing drinks, part therapy. It was crazy what people would tell a stranger about their lives when they served them drinks.
“Hi.” I held out my hand. “I’m Skylar and this is my daughter Luna.”
“Nice to meet you, Skylar, Luna.” He shook my hand and then offered his hand to Luna.
It was a mixed bag with her whether or not she’d get shy. Sometimes she was outgoing and then other times she’d hide behind my legs. This was one of her brave times. She lifted her hand and shook his. “Nice to meet you.”
A little bit of pride swelled in me as I watched her interact with poise and confidence.
I’d been painfully shy as a child, partly because that was innately my personality, but part of it had to do with my upbringing. Being an Army brat, we moved so much, I was always the “new” kid. I wasn’t sure where or if I fit in. That all changed when my mom had Ashley, though. Being her big sister had given me an identity, a purpose.
So seeing Luna navigate the same issues and conquer them made me think I might be doing something right.
“So are you still looking for someone?” I crossed my fingers and toes hoping that he hadn’t. I was desperate.
“Yes, ma’am.” Billy nodded with an easy smile that went along with his general easy-going vibe. “You are the first to apply.”
“Oh, great! Can I get an application? Or I could email you my resume.”
I caught some movement out of the corner of my eye but before I was able to turn my head Luna tugged her arm, pulling her hand out of mine as she yelled, “Mr. Hank!”
When my head turned I saw Hank was standing in the doorway that led to what I assumed were the back offices. I sucked in a startled breath at his sudden appearance. At least that’s what I told myself had made me suck in a breath. It didn’t have anything to do with the fact that he looked sexier than any man had a right to look.
It had been less than twenty-four hours since I’d seen him last, and in that time, his well-trimmed beard had grown into a sexy scruff that had my breath coming in shallow pants.
Luna rushed toward him with her arms wide open like she was a bird about to take flight. Just before she tackled his legs, he bent down and she launched herself into his arms.