That wasn’t strictly true. I wouldn’t mind the company of a certain frazzled, adorable, glasses-wearing neighbor. All morning I’d found myself walking by windows and checking to see if I could catch a glimpse of her, but unfortunately, I hadn’t.
Last night, I’d been half asleep when I’d heard a knock on the door. I hadn’t been fully awake when I opened it and Skylar fell to her knees at my feet. For a split second, I’d thought I had to be dreaming, but hearing Luna ask if her mom was okay had brought me to reality.
Still, nothing had prepared me for the jolt of awareness that had spread through me when my fingers wrapped around Skylar’s arms and helped her up. The way her hands felt on my chest as she steadied herself had sent my body into sensory overload. Then, she’d put her glasses on and seeing her eyes widen and a flush rise on her cheeks had only ratcheted up my body’s response.
I’d never really understood the teacher/librarian fantasy. But seeing Skylar with her hair pulled up wearing glasses had definitely ranked in the top three hottest things I’d ever witnessed. She was even more stunning than I’d remembered her, and that was quite a bar to meet much less surpass.
I noticed things that I hadn’t when we first met. She had a tiny scar above her right eye that was in the shape of a half-moon. Freckles dusted her turned-up nose. And her full, raspberry-tinted lips had the sexiest pout. And all of those incredible attributes didn’t come close to the most mesmerizing attribute – her eyes. They were a crystal clear blue-green color that I’d only ever seen in sea glass. She had hues of blue intertwined with shades of green, dusted with specks of gold, all outlined with a thick navy rim.
I’d definitely noticed how pretty her eyes were when I’d first seen her. But seeing them magnified behind glasses was a totally different ballgame. As I stared into her eyes, for just a moment, a glorious moment, the rest of the world ceased to exist. She transported me to a different dimension, where I would’ve gladly stayed if it meant I could continue looking into her eyes.
And If Luna hadn’t giggled when the money blew away, I could very easily still be lost in her beauty. Everything after that was a blur. One second they were on my porch and then they were gone so fast that if I hadn’t had the money in my hand to prove they’d been there I’d have been convinced it was a dream.
I sighed as I stepped out of the truck and the midday heat beat down on me. I knew what this impromptu invitation was about, Billy wanted to know where my head was at about going to see the mechanic.
There was a lot I would do for my brothers. I’d given up my teens and twenties to raise them. And I’d given up the first half of my thirties to care for Pops so they could live carefree lives. I’d done it without complaint and would do it again in a heartbeat.
But I just wasn’t sure I wanted to go down the road they were traveling. Because I knew, all too well, once you know something you can’t unknow it. And there was a lot that Billy, Cheyenne, and Jimmy didn’t know about our mother.
They’d all seemed to take the news that Cheyenne had a different father much better than I’d expected, but they still didn’t know all of our mother’s secrets…and I’d be damned if I was going to be the one to uncover them.
Knowing that I couldn’t put this off any longer, I pushed the large wooden door open and stepped inside. My eyes took a moment to adjust from the bright sunlight to the dimness of the room. When they did, I saw my brother standing behind the bartop.
When he glanced up his brows rose in surprise. “You’re here.”
I kept walking and resisted the urge to respond to Captain Obvious. I’d never been a big talker. My mom used to call me her turtle. She said that I was always retreating into my shell. Really, I just kept my thoughts to myself. I grew up in this bar, which meant I grew up around drunks who liked to talk. A lot. I’d seen more men, and women for that matter, make asses out of themselves before I was even in double digits to last a lifetime. And my father was one of the worst offenders.
I’d made a promise to myself that I would never be like him, or any of the other regulars that came back every night.
The barstool scraped against the hard wood floors as I lowered myself onto it.
“Drink?” Billy held up a bottle of Jameson.
“What’s with the help wanted sign?” Southern Comfort was technically owned by all four of us, Jimmy, Cheyenne, Billy, and me. We were equal partners but Billy was the one who ran the place. Still, I liked to keep up on what was going on with it.
“Nicole’s leaving. She’s going on some reality dating show.”
I liked Nicole. She showed up on time, worked hard, and didn’t ask a lot of questions. That made her a model employee to me. Plus, both regulars and tourists loved her equally which was a tall order here in Firefly. It would be tough to replace her.
A picture of Skylar working behind the bar popped into my head. Clear as day, I saw her serving drinks, talking and laughing with customers.
“So…?” Billy looked expectantly at me. “What are you thinking?”
“About what?” I barked. I hadn’t meant to sound so defensive, but I felt like I was the one who was caught with his hand in the cookie jar. I just couldn’t stop thinking about a woman that clearly wanted nothing to do with me.
“When are you going to call him?” Billy asked pointedly as he crossed his arms in front of his chest.
Looked like I wasn’t the only one who was defensive.
I didn’t respond to my brother because I didn’t have an answer. I knew that my brothers and sister wanted me to call the mechanic, but that was because they didn’t have the whole story. I had a bad feeling that I knew exactly what the man would have to tell me. He’d tell me that it wasn’t an accident. He’d explain that my mother had wrapped her car around a tree on purpose.
On some level, I’d known that was the case since I found the note that she’d left me under my pillow the night that she died.
The very last memory that I had of my mom was her coming into my room and kissing me on my head while I slept. I was convinced that I’d imagined it after Dawson showed up with the news that she’d been in a car accident. Maybe I’d dreamed it, in some sort of sixth sense, premonition way. Like her soul had visited me and told me it was going to be okay.
But then, three days later, I found it. The note under my pillow. The evidence that she had, in fact, snuck into my room before leaving and going out for the night.
I stood and started to head out back.
“Where are you going?” Billy asked in a frustrated sigh.
“I need to go check on the pen.”
Kevin Bacon, who had turned into an Insta-famous pig, was one of the reasons tourists came to Southern Comfort when they visited Firefly Island. He had close to a million followers on Instagram and I’d noticed over the weekend that his pen had a board loose. Normally Ray, who lived above the bar and who’d worked there longer than I’d been alive, took care of the handyman repairs but he’d just had a triple bypass and was taking it easy.
“Why don’t you ever talk about her?”
I stopped. “Who?”
“Mom.”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I knew this question was coming. After the accident, when my brothers were little, I’d answered all their questions about her. But as the years went on, and they got into their teens and twenties, they stopped asking. And when Pop was around, he talked about her all the time. So I don’t think it was as obvious that I didn’t.