“I know that, sweetheart. I plan on helping you. We’ll get it.”
“I think it might be best if you sleep in the guest room. That way we’ll have plenty of rest so we can tackle tomorrow,” she says and it’s probably a good thing that she can’t see me roll my damn eyes. I just give her body a squeeze instead. I hope that she will let it drop, but it just takes her a few minutes before bringing it back up. “Did you hear what I said, Cade?”
“Jesus, Red, am I going to have to sort your shit out again tonight?”
“I’m being practical!” she huffs, rolling over on her back.
I reach over and turn on the bedside light, because I refuse to fight with someone that I can’t even see.
“You’re being a bitch, trying to invent issues that aren’t there because you’re scared, Red. In my world we live by one rule. If you feel it, own it.”
“I am not scared, you asshole. I’m the only one of us that’s making sense! If you feel it, own it? What kind of kindergarten dribble is that? What the fuck does it even mean?” she huffs, working herself up.
“It means if you’re going to allow yourself to be afraid at least admit to it, sweetheart.”
“I’m not afraid, damn you. I just don’t think it’s smart for me to head to Kentucky so soon with a man I barely know!”
“That’s crap and you know it. We know each other in all the ways that matter and every fucking day it gets better.”
“I’ll tell you what’s crap is that you are just thinking with your dick and expect me to agree.”
“What?” I ask, because I want her to get it all out before I put an end to this bullshit—and I’m definitely putting an end to it tonight.
“You and I are good in bed.”
“Gee, you think, Red?”
“Really good,” she allows, making me snort because that don’t even come close to describing what we have. “My point is, that it’s still just sex. We haven’t had time to get to know one another, time to figure out if we have what it takes to go long term.”
“I disagree, but even if I didn’t, Red, tell me something.”
“What?”
“Is there some fucking law in your world that says we can’t be together while we’re sorting through everything else?”
“I… well…”
“That’s what I thought,” I respond smugly, though holding in my laughter.
“Being around you confuses me. I confuse what is smart with what I want,” she finally answers, exasperated.
“What if what you want is the smart thing, Red.”
“What if it’s not?”
“Red, do I look like some young, stupid, horny boy to you?”
“Cade—”
“I’m pushing forty and I’ve lived life hard and wild for a lot of those fucking years, Red.”
“Uh, just saying, I’d rather not hear about that,” she mumbles, making me grin.
“Why not? It’s the truth. You and I are adults. We take what we want in life and we make no apologies for it. That’s one thing that attracted me to your ass in the first place,”
“Such a romantic, Stud. Don’t forget about my fat ass either.”
“Thick, not fat, but yes, that is pretty fucking phenomenal, too,” I laugh. She elbows me in response, she doesn’t try to make it hurt, though. In fact, she’s fighting her own laughter. “The point is, Red, I’ve lived all this time and I didn’t find one woman that I wanted to claim. Not one. Some I spent a night with—”
“Ahhhhh,” she cries, sticking her fingers in her ears. “I told you I didn’t want to hear this shit!”
I pull her hands down and then move so my body has her pinned down on the bed. “In all that time, Red, there was no one that I wanted to put my mark on, to keep in my bed. Some of them I knew for a night and some of them a hell of a lot longer.”
“Cade, seriously, I don’t want to hear—”
“I knew after one minute of being near you that I would never want another woman in my life. You’re it for me. I’m not giving you up and I felt that way from word one and I feel that way now. I know without question that I’ll feel that way a year from now, five years from now and if I’m that fucking lucky, fifty years from now. I’m not letting you walk away because I can’t.”
“Damn it, Cade,” she whispers, and I can see her eyes are overly bright, tears threatening to spill.
“Can you live with the thought of never seeing me again, Finley?” I murmur, using her name, needing to get my point across, because I’m done with seeing my woman beat herself up over this shit.
“No,” she admits softly.
“Does that mean you’re ready to just admit that we’re going to do this and stop running.”
“You’re a real jerk, Cade.”
“Kiss me, Red,” I respond, lowering my lips to hers.
15
Finley
I wake up the next morning completely alone. I suppose that shouldn’t piss me off so much, but it does. Last night he was all in, promised to help me get ready for the adoption and today?
Today I wake up alone.
I try to push all thoughts out of my head, but as I look around and fail to see a note from Cade, my doubts grow. I jump in the shower and go through my morning routine. Finally, I grab some clothes and then blow dry my hair. When the phone rings, I release a breath I didn’t even know I was holding. I grab it without even looking.
“Stud, you better have a good reason for not leaving me a note—”
“Finley?”
“Hey, Tommy,” I answer, instantly deflated when I hear the voice on the other line. It’s the young kid that I hired to help me at the shelter.
“I know I’m supposed to help you today and tomorrow, but I can’t. I was helping Chief Holden at the fire department and I fell and broke my ankle.”
“Oh no,” I whisper, wincing. “I’m sorry. I hope you heal quickly.”
“Thanks Finley. I’m sorry I can’t help you.”
“It’ll be okay, you just concentrate on getting better.” We say our goodbyes and I put my phone down with a heavy sigh. Today is not going as planned at all. Again, I know I’m being unreasonable, but I’m blaming Cade for all of it.
As the hours tick by, I still don’t hear from him. I’ve baked cookies and made the punch I’m going to serve tomorrow. I just need to do small stuff to get ready. The big stuff will be all outside. I’ve got to get the tables out there and covered. I’ve got balloons and banners to hang… I look at the clock and realize it’s almost dinner time and I’ve not heard from Cade all day. I’m pissed, but I’m also hurt. Last night he made me believe…My parents were good at that, and I was always gullible enough to believe them. What if I’ve made a mistake when it comes to Cade?
If I don’t keep busy, I’m going to drive myself insane. I’ve got flowers from the Budding Hearts flower shop in town. It’s actually been renamed Urban Flower or something now, but I liked the old name better. I thought it was kind of catchy. Anyway, I would have liked to have more flowers, but I’m on a strict budget, so I got what I could and then put them in vases with water for tomorrow. Then, I grab the Valentine’s banners.