She gasps in the middle of my tirade, but I don’t stop. Gavin turns back toward the house and is about to walk in. “Look, I have to go. I love you, sis. I’m here with Gavin. I’ll be back the day after Christmas. I’ll text you later.” And then I hang up.
Maybe I should have given her some warning, but I know she would have just found a reason not to be home when Ben got there. Now, hopefully, they’ll spend some time together and work it out.
Gavin
After texting with my brother Baker, I go back inside. I was quick and to the point in my text with him, but I doubt he noticed since he was in Juniper Junction with his assistant. I don’t know what’s going on there, but I’m glad that Baker’s finally made a move.
I walk back into the living room and look at Cassie, who’s putting the finishing touches on the tree.
“Everything okay?” I ask her.
“Yep. Everything is good. Are you ready for what’s next?”
I laugh and shake my head. I’m definitely not going to be bored with Cassie here. She won’t let that happen.
“I’m ready. What do you want to do?” I ask her as innocently as I can. I have a hundred things running through my mind of what I’d like to do, but none of those are on the table. Think Christmas, Gavin.
She walks over to a box and picks it up. “Snowman.”
I look between the box and her. “Snowman?”
She opens the lid to show me a top hat, carrot, buttons and a scarf. “Yep, we’re going to make a snowman.”
I help her into her jacket and follow her outside. “Aren’t you cold?” she asks.
“Nope. It doesn’t bother me.”
Her teeth are already starting to chatter. “C’mon, let’s get this going. I’m thinking the quicker we get the snowman made, the quicker you can get us inside to make some hot chocolate, and I’m really hoping you brought some of your famous cookies.”
“You know I did.” She starts rolling up snow, and I follow after her. I don’t have the heart to tell her that I’ve made a snowman before. She’s going to all this trouble, I’m not going to do anything to ruin it.
4
Cassie
“Mmmmm,” he moans.
He’s eating his fifth—or maybe sixth—cookie, and I sit across from him on the couch sipping hot chocolate.
He picks up his mug and takes a drink, moaning around it too.
“I guess it’s okay?” I laugh.
He holds another cookie up. “How did you learn to make cookies like this? They are so good. And the hot chocolate. This is not like any hot chocolate I’ve ever tasted.”
I watch him lick his lips, and it causes somersaults in my belly. “Never trust a skinny baker. That’s why I’m so good at it,” I explain, gesturing to my belly and thighs.
His gaze goes down my body and stays there. He’s staring at me, and I pull the pillow off the couch and bring it to cover myself.
Finally, his gaze meets my eyes again. “I think you’re perfect.”
I reach out and slap my hand across his arm, but he catches me in a hold. “I do. I think you’re perfect. I can’t believe you did all this for me.”
I try to shake it off. “It’s nothing.”
He pulls me toward him, and I’m leaning over so much my chest almost touches his. “It’s not nothing. No one has ever done anything like this for me before. This past year, I knew you were special. I was right.”
He leans in, and I know he’s aiming for my cheek. A sweet kiss to seal his compliment. But I turn my head at the last minute and capture his lips with my own. I’m sure he meant it to be a simple thank you, but I couldn’t resist tasting his lips on my own. His hands go to my back, holding me to him. His stubbled chin is scratching my face, but I don’t care. I put my hand to the back of his neck, threading my fingers through the short hairs there. Our lips mesh together, and right now is better than anything I had ever imagined.
I pull back, only because I know I made the first move, and even though he’s not fighting me on it, he’s also the one that didn’t want any kind of future with me either.
I close my eyes and open them, trying to gauge his thoughts. I told myself that I wasn’t going to ask him, but already I can feel myself weakening. “So why? If I’m so perfect… Never mind. Forget it.”
“No! What is it? Ask me. Why what?”
He’s still holding on to me, and it doesn’t seem like he’s going to let me go. “I just, well, I was just wondering. We seem to have gotten along so well.” I shrug my shoulders. “I thought we would at least remain friends. But you made it pretty clear when you left the Army that this”—I point between the two of us—“was going to be over.”
He releases me then, and it’s like a big woosh in my head as I sit back in my seat. The answer couldn’t get any plainer than that. “Forget it. It’s no big deal.” I unbend my legs out from underneath me and start to stand up.
His arm goes out to stop me, holding me down. “Wait. You’re right. And heck, after everything, you deserve an explanation.”
“You don’t owe me anything.”
He tilts his head to the side. “I think I do.”
His hand reaches out and cups my jaw, his thumb rubbing soft circles on my cheek. “We did have something good. Probably too good. All I could do was think about you. But I knew that nothing could come of this. Even friendship isn’t a good idea.”
“Why?”
“Cassie, you grew up with a family that loved you. You celebrated holidays and birthdays, you were there for each other when you needed one another. Everything a normal family does. I’m not normal. I haven’t ever depended on anyone. I’ve never had a relationship, not one that lasted more than one night. I don’t know how to do the give and take of one. Not even for a friendship. I knew when we were writing back and forth that nothing could come of it. Besides your age, you’re just too pure and sweet for the likes of me.”
“That’s bullshit, and you know it,” I say and almost instantly regret it. His eyes flash with surprise, and I shake my head, wondering what in the world I was thinking. Who am I to call him out? Maybe it’s just an excuse he’s making, and he doesn’t want to say that I just don’t do it for him. “Forget it. Sorry. You’re entitled to feel the way you feel. Let’s drop it.”
I pick up my mug and take another sip. I want to argue with him so bad on this, but I’m not going to. He may have never had a relationship before, but already he’s treated me ten times better than any of my previous boyfriends. Can he not see that what we have together is good? I mean really good.
I set my mug down and change the subject. “So I know I sort of steamrolled you just as you were getting back into civilian life, but tell me, how’s it going being out?” I’m bristling on the inside, but I’m trying to keep my voice steady.
He looks at the Christmas tree, and a smile forms on his lips. “Well, let’s see. Since I’ve been home, I’ve decorated my first ever Christmas tree. I’ve made a snowman, I’ve had the best spaghetti I’ve ever eaten. Thank you for dinner, by the way. Now I’ve had the best chocolate chip cookies and hot chocolate there is. All in all, I can’t see it getting any better.”