I told her we wouldn’t be talking anymore when we got out. I knew it was the best thing to do. She’s way too young for me and way too sweet. I’m like a cankerous old man, and all I’ll do is bring her down. Nope. I made the right decision. It’s better this way. With another rub to my chest, I can’t help but wonder when I’m going to believe it, though.
2
Cassie
This is it. This is where Gavin lives. I look at the mailbox and see the big white letters that say Dawson. There’s a flutter in my chest just looking at his last name.
Before I can talk myself out of it, I get out of the car and stare up at the house. I found Gavin just by looking at old emails. I of course knew his last name was Dawson. And in one email he mentioned his brother had built his house in Mistletoe, Montana. It’s a three-hour drive from me, and I can’t help but wonder if he knew that or not. Did he ever even think about meeting me one day?
I shake my head, determined to get rid of the feelings of despair. This is not what this is about, Cassie. This is about Gavin not spending Christmas alone. That’s it.
I grip the rearview mirror and try to talk myself into walking up the driveaway and stepping onto the porch. It’s a beautiful ranch style house with a porch swing. There are no other houses on this street. I eye the swing again and immediately think of his foster brother, Baker. He has to be responsible for the porch swing because Gavin doesn’t really seem like the type to spend time on a porch swing.
I release my hold on the car and take tentative steps toward the porch. You can do this, Cassie, I chant to myself over and over. Worst case scenario, I leave without him even knowing it’s me. I don’t have to tell him who I am.
With much more confidence than I feel, I knock soundly on the door and take a step back.
I wait, wondering again for the zillionth time what he looks like. And if he’s going to be disappointed by what I look like. I pull the hem of my jacket down, trying to cover my wide hips a little more when suddenly the door swings open… and I’m staring down the barrel of a shotgun. Maybe I should have waited a little longer for the sun to come fully up.
I stagger back, almost falling on my butt before finally getting my ground and staying upright. I stare up at him, and he is definitely a force to reckon with. His reddish blond hair is a little shaggy, and it looks as if he hasn’t shaved in a few days. He’s big and muscular, his tight thermal shirt showing off every muscle of his chest and arms.
I look up into his eyes and notice that he’s staring at me too, but instead of the long glance up and down my body, it’s more of a glance over… and maybe a dismissive shrug.
“I, uh, yeah, I should probably go,” I mutter before turning on my heel.
I run-walk back to my car, trying to hold back the tears. I knew he would be handsome, but I guess I thought it wouldn’t matter. I could do what I came to do and leave. But seeing him, I know I couldn’t be around him without looking like a stalker. Heck, I’ve already ogled him. I guess he’s lucky I didn’t push him into the house and force myself on him at this point.
When I finally make it to my car, I start to open the door when an arm comes out of nowhere, and a hand lands on the door, stopping me from opening it.
“Wait,” he breathes right next to my ear. “Who are you?”
I don’t answer him, but I can’t resist. I turn around to where I’m looking up into his blue eyes. I blink but still can’t utter a word.
I look at his full lips with longing before turning away again.
“Cassie? Is that you?” he asks.
Gavin
Her head drops between her shoulders, and I hear a muffled, “Yes.”
Without second guessing myself, I put my hands on her shoulders and turn her around. I stare at her and take her in from head to toe. She’s here. She’s really here.
Her blond hair is in a high ponytail. Her hazel eyes are big and wide and don’t hide a single emotion that crosses her face. Her body is trembling, and I don’t know if it’s from the cold or because she’s nervous.
She was hard to resist before I ever saw here… now I have a face to go with her name, and I know that I’ll never be able to get her out of my mind.
“You’re here. You’re really here,” I tell her, my hands sliding up her shoulders to wrap on each side of her neck. I angle her face so she’s looking up at me.
She grabs on to my forearm. “I’m here. I hope that’s okay.”
I stare at her in wonder. How did she find me? What is she doing here? “Come in, I’m sorry, what am I thinking?” I tell her as she shivers again.
I put my hand to the small of her back and walk her back up the driveway, up the front steps, and inside the house.
“Here, let me take your coat, then you can sit by the fire.” Her teeth start to chatter, and I help her quickly out of her coat. I almost miss the clothes rack because I’m staring at her as she moves toward the open flames. It was hard to tell in the bulky winter jacket, but now there’s no denying it. Cassie has a body made for sin. She brings out every one of my savage thoughts. Her waist leads into wide hips, and I have to stand my ground so I don’t chase after her to put my hands on her. She’s tempting, and the insecure way she looks at me over her shoulder tells me that she has no idea how tantalizing she really is.
I take a deep breath and follow behind her. “Have a seat,” I tell her as I lay a blanket over top of her.
“Thanks,” she says. “So I bet you’re wondering what I’m doing here.”
I just shrug and try to hide my smile. I don’t care why she’s here. The only thing that matters to me is the fact that she’s here.
“So I know you probably think I’m a stalker.”
I shake my head. “No, I don’t.”
She giggles, and the sound is probably the most glorious thing I’ve ever heard. “Okay, that’s good. Well, I’ve thought a lot about our emails, and well, I know that you didn’t plan on us talking anymore, but I had to come and do this.”
I move to the end of my seat and lean forward. There’s a decent distance between us, but with how tall I am, our knees are almost touching. “Do what?”
“All I’ve been able to think about is you here by yourself at Christmas. I came because I wanted to repay you. I didn’t want you to be alone. I wanted you to experience Christmas.”
I sit back in my chair, stunned. I never open up with anyone, but with her I did. She knows that I never celebrate Christmas. And now she’s here… to share it with me.
“What about your sister?” I remember her telling me that she and her sister and sometimes her stepbrother spend every Christmas together since their parents moved to Florida and usually take a cruise at Christmas time.
She holds her hands up and laughs. “Don’t worry. I called in reinforcements. She won’t be alone for Christmas.”
I’m still a little shaken up by what she’s saying. “So… you’re going to spend Christmas here… with me?”
Her eyes widen. “Well, I mean, gosh when you say it that way it sounds really presumptuous. I can just leave everything. I don’t have to spend Christmas here. I can just set it up and go.”