Oh, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck…
He came at the same moment, wave after wave of burning hot come coursing inside me, filling me up to the point of torture. His pulse throbbed in his thick knot as it remained locked inside me, sealing in his seed. Even as the waves of bliss gradually subsided and I remembered how to breathe naturally, it still didn’t fully sink in until his eyes met mine for the first time since he’d knotted me.
There were still droplets of blood on his lips, and while it should have filled me with horror appropriate for the foolish, desperate thing I’d just done, it didn’t. Instead, it made me shiver for all the wrong reasons, and another surge of desire and pleasure ran through my body, amplified by his swollen knot still pressing against my prostate.
“I bit you,” he said, as if he was still trying to come to terms with it. “While you were...”
“Yeah,” I said hoarsely. “Yeah, you did.”
Those were the facts, and there wasn’t a damn case I could make on my own behalf to justify them.
3
James
At some point between coming inside Shan for a third time--his fifth--and my knot finally going down, I fell asleep on top of him. I was so blissed out that I didn’t even notice he’d slipped away until I woke to find him rummaging around the floor for his clothes.
“Sneaking out on me?” I asked dryly, sitting up slowly as I tried to get my bearings. My head was throbbing and my back screaming in protest of the awkward position I’d fallen asleep in so I wouldn’t crush him while we were still tied together, but I had no regrets.
The look on Shan’s face made it clear he had enough for the both of us.
“Don’t start,” he mumbled, buttoning his shirt over his half-finished tattoo. The ink was far from the most permanent mark I’d left on him, if what I was afraid of was true.
Afraid. Yeah. We’d go with that.
“I’m sorry,” I began, rubbing my eyes in an attempt to see clearly. When I opened them, his face was a mask of confusion.
“Why? I’m the one who asked you to.”
“Yeah, but I shouldn’t have.”
Anger flashed in his eyes, bolder than ever. I really couldn’t figure him out. “I’m not a child,” he snapped. “I’m responsible for my own actions.”
“Okay, you’re right,” I said, holding my hands up. “So...what does this mean?”
“It doesn’t mean anything,” he said, fastening his belt. “I’m out of heat, and the odds of a mark forming from just the one time are, what, thirty percent?”
“Pretty sure it’s higher since I bit you while you were coming,” I said, earning another glare. “I’m just stating the facts.”
“And there’s no reason to jump to conclusions until they’re all obvious,” he countered, pulling his silken hair back. The memory of what it had looked like splayed around his bare shoulders, all mussed up from my groping, was going to be with me for a long damn time.
Not nearly long enough, though.
“So that’s it? You want to just leave and pretend like this never happened if it turns out I didn’t mark you?”
“Yes. That’s exactly what I want, whether you marked me or not,” he said firmly. I must not have done as good of a job hiding my conflicted feelings as I hoped, because his gaze softened slightly. “Look, I…I appreciate what you did for me. And I’m not going to pretend like I didn’t enjoy it, too, but...it was a one-time thing. You get why it has to be, right?”
I nodded, even though my instincts had other ideas. He was right, whether I wanted him to be or not. Our brothers were in love, and I wouldn’t have been surprised to find out Ryan had marked Kellan anytime now. If anything, I was shocked he hadn’t already. For the two of us to be involved, even if it was just a one-night stand…
Yeah, I could get why he wanted to use discretion. I just didn’t have to like it. “I’m not going to tell anyone,” I assured him, since I assumed that was the cause for the nervous energy lingering around him.
He relaxed a little, confirming it. “Thank you.”
“Will you at least let me make sure you get home okay?”
“I’m perfectly capable of driving myself ten minutes,” he muttered, hesitating. “But...you can walk me to my car, if you want.”
Even if it was obviously a half-hearted attempt to pacify me, and probably only because he saw me as some dumb, instinct-driven alpha who was bound to go nuts with possessiveness after mating.
And the worst part was, he wasn’t wrong.
4
Shan
“Are you okay?” Kellan asked for what felt like the nine-millionth time that night. “Because you don’t seem okay.”
I sighed heavily, putting down the box of things we’d been helping our parents pack since they had decided to downsize and move into a condo on the golf course Dad spent half his time at anyway. Apparently, there was no point in keeping up on the huge house at their age since “neither of us were giving them grandchildren anytime soon.”
It was their not-so-subtle attempt to prod Kellan for not being mated yet, now that they had given up on trying to break him and Ryan up. And since I didn’t have a serious relationship and hadn’t in...ever, I was even more of a cause for melodramatic despair.
“Like I told you when you asked five minutes ago, and ten minutes before that, I’m fine,” I told him. There were few things I had ever kept from my brother, but this was one secret I couldn’t share no matter what.
It had been two weeks since my encounter with Ryan, and while I had a half-finished tattoo to show for it, I didn’t have a visible mating mark. Those days after I’d left were full of anxiety, but I was finally letting myself relax and get back to normal.
If long enough passed, maybe it wouldn’t be so horrible to run into him again. And it was inevitable, if only at the mating ceremony.
I needed to come up with an excuse for not dreading it, at least, because otherwise, I’d have to face the fact that I actually wanted to see him. Whenever Ryan came over to the apartment we shared off campus, there was a part of me that perked up in hopes of seeing James walk through that door. He and Ryan were as inseparable as me and Kellan were, so he came around often even though we mostly just ignored each other. Lately, though, I hadn’t even seen him from a distance.
He was definitely avoiding me, of that there was no question. And I had no right to be offended, because he was only doing what I’d asked him to: pretending like nothing had happened.
So why did it feel like a punch in the gut? I should have been on cloud nine. I’d gotten away without any permanent consequences, and I could move on with my life. The last thing I needed to worry about was an alpha, let alone one I could hardly stand.
Even if he was stupidly gorgeous. And unexpectedly gentle. And even if his touch made me feel things I never had before.
“Shan?” Kellan asked worriedly.
“What?” I asked, getting the feeling it wasn’t the first time he’d called my name.
He frowned. “You were totally spacing out. Something’s definitely wrong.”