The pastor does his thing then asks for my men to come up and say a few words. With each man that stands before my wife, memories of things they’re speaking of come back and I watch the scenes play out like a movie reel. There are times we chuckle, at times we cry, but you can feel the respect they all held for my Rora.
Sending everyone away once her service was concluded, I choose to stay behind and watch as my woman is lowered into the ground. Harmony fell asleep on my shoulder and I decided to let her stay with me. I have my harness I use for her in my saddlebags for when she goes on rides with me. Bella reluctantly left, but I’m a stingy fucker who needs to hold a piece of his old lady in his arms.
I’m not sure how long I sit here and just talk to my woman, but before I know it, the sun begins to set. I’m still not ready to leave, but my daughter needs food and her own bed to rest peacefully. There’s no way she’s getting peaceful sleep in the position she’s in now. A chuckle escapes me, even as an infant she always slept best in my arms, but she’s older now and needs room to stretch. Hesitantly, I stand and the movement stirs my baby girl. “Are we going home now, Daddy?”
“Yes, baby girl, we’re going home now.”
Bella
I get several loads of laundry done and the house is spotless enough that you could eat on the floors. When I hear the roar of a motorcycle pull up the driveway, I rush over to the open window and watch as Rogue unstraps Harmony from him. If it was any other day, I would smile at watching how lovingly he takes care of his daughter. They are a cute picture, but this isn’t the time or place for me to ogle the man I’ve always loved. Instead, I open the front door and keep it held open for them using the weight of my body as I lean against it. Harmony’s eyes are open, but I can read the exhaustion written all over her face.
“Wanna take a bath, sweet girl?” I ask her, knowing that she loves to sit in the tub filled with bubbles.
“Yeah,” she says through a yawn.
After giving Harmony a nice, warm, relaxing bubble bath, she can barely keep her weary little eyes open. Helping her slip into her favorite pair of pajamas, I run the comb through her golden locks. “Are you hungry at all?” I kneel down and ask her. She answers my question with a yawn and the simple shake of her head. “Okay, sweet girl, that’s fine. But you know I’m making blueberry pancakes in the morning for breakfast.” I try enticing her appetite with one of her favorite foods. “Lots of syrup,” I say again, this time gaining a fleeting grin on her face.
“With butter? And in the shape of Minnie Mouse?” she momentarily perks up, asking me.
“Oh, absolutely,” I offer.
“Maybe I can help you, Auntie Bella and we can make extra for Daddy.” The squeak of her tiny voice is laced with hopefulness and my heart briefly sings with joy.
“Yes, I think that’s a great idea, Harmony.” It’s not much right now, but it’s something and a step in a promising direction. “Now, let’s get your teeth brushed and get you to bed, huh?”
Another yawn overtakes her as she nods. Once I’ve helped her, she walks toward her bedroom and crawls under her blankets before resting her head on her pillow. Her eyes begin to flutter as sleep begins to carry her away, before they pop back wide open. “Wait. I haven’t said goodnight to Daddy yet.”
“I’m right here, baby girl,” Rogue’s deep, raspy voice is spoken behind me. Turning my head over my shoulder I see him standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame with his arms folded across his chest, wearing a stoic expression on his face. Uncrossing his arms, he makes his way toward Harmony’s bed and I stand, allowing him space to sit next to her.
“I’ll leave you two alone,” I say as I turn on my heel and make my way out of the bedroom.
Rogue
As I take up residence beside Outlaw on her bed, I lean down, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. “I want you to know that I’m not going anywhere. Ever. I’ll always be by your side, my precious girl.” While I cannot honestly know this to be a fact, I refuse to allow my daughter to continue to be worried or haunted by what-if’s. Either way this plays out in the end, I refuse to watch her continue to wither away and live in constant fear. So, anything I can do to ease those things, I will do without a shred of remorse; because right now, that’s what she needs most. I begin to rub the top of her head, running my fingers through her hair. “Rest, my little Outlaw. After all, it sounds like we have lots of pancakes to make and eat in the morning.”
A tired, small giggle escapes her and I can feel my own lips curl upward slightly at the delight of that beautiful sound. She reaches for my hand and takes it into her own through her now closed lids, indicating she’s somewhere between awake and dreamland. “Goodnight, Daddy. I love you.”
Drawing her small, fragile hand to my lips, I kiss it. “I love you too, my girl.”
While Bella was busy giving Harmony a bath, I placed a call to Sledge and Coder. They’re both on their way along with their old ladies and children in tow. Sleep has eluded me for days now and since we’ve laid my Rora in her final resting spot, it’s time to get down to business. But I know I’ll need a clearer mind and that will only come with some much needed shut eye, which is impossible unless I’m almost certain that my daughter is being watched over as she sleeps. There’s still a threat, an enemy walking around somewhere out there. And whatever the new normal will be that we will call our life won’t be possible until I have some answers and sins have been paid for. So, they’ve agreed to take turns looking after her while I tackle some sleep.
“Sledge, Coder, and their families will be on their way shortly,” I inform Bella who’s absentmindedly cleaning areas of my house that are already spotless. I grab the bottle of whiskey from the counter and pour myself a glass. Before taking a swig, I look over at her and ask, “Want one?” I offer as I hold the bottle up.
Staring back at me, she’s paused her unnecessary tidying up of the place and stands still, holding the rag she was using to dust within her hands; nervously wringing and twisting it. “I-I mean, I suppose one wouldn’t hurt,” she staggers out.
She’s anxious and everything she’s doing and even the way she’s speaking are exuding just that, but I pretend not to notice. I’m not one who’s ever been great at placing myself in the shoes of another, but I know she’s wracked with as much guilt as the rest of us; just on a different level. She and Rora hadn’t been nearly as close these past few years as they’d been in the previous ones. They were childhood friends up until one day Bella up and left without truly any rhyme or reason other than she needed to be upstate where her family had moved to. It crushed Aurora, although she understood. A part of me always wondered if Bella had a streak of jealousy at Aurora’s happiness and new life. The air around us is thick and tension-filled and honestly, if I have any chance at relaxing tonight, I’m gonna need her to do so as well. It’s nine o’clock at night and she’s still pacing around my house cleaning for fuck’s sake. “Yeah, I think you could use one,” I stoically suggest, as I turn away and grab another glass and pour her one.