“Got it. Ignorance is bliss.”
Ignorance may be bliss for some, but for me, it’s like ripping my heart out. I’m meant to help people, not sit and watch their world be turned upside down.
Just think about getting out of here, Shay.
Life won’t always be like this.
“Fight, Shay.”
Chapter 9
Clay
“Okay. So, let me get this straight.” Armand, a member of our local press holds his hands up. “You’re giving me the go ahead to be a dick here. You want me to kick up a stir, blacken the army’s name, and get the public talking?”
Caleb nods casually. “Can you do it?”
“Can I do it?” Armand sniggers and sits down opposite me and Caleb. “You know I’m usually the good guy, right? I print the truth.”
“We know. Nothing we give you will be lies. It is the truth,” Caleb answers. “It’s just information that people aren’t usually forthcoming with, and if they do, it gets buried so no one else can hear it. We want the truth printed, Armand.”
Armand is the best journalist out there. He’s true and honest. He doesn’t play with people’s lives. That’s why Caleb got him here. We need a good guy on our side.
“I would never give you anything other than the truth.” I push off the filing cabinet and throw down a file. A file I drew up for Armand specifically. I want him to print the facts and let every other journalist in the city run away with their bullshit. I need the public talking. I need ex-veterans to come forward and agree with us. I need the whole damn country on our side, because enough isn’t done for soldiers who go missing in action, or for those soldiers that come home with PTSD and end up losing everything.
Armand fingers through the file. He blows out a sigh and snaps the file closed. He doesn’t throw it back at me, which is a good thing.
“Give me two days to get something printed. My editor and chief will eat this up and print it, no problem. You do know this is going to blow up in your faces, right? The truth always does.”
“Good thing we’re more than capable of putting out the flames.” I fold my arms over my chest. “And we appreciate this, Armand. I’ll do anything to find Shay.”
He nods and stands up. “I’ll do all I can to help you guys.”
Caleb stands up and extends his hand to the journalist he knows and respects. “Thank you.”
Armand leaves the office with the file.
“Now what?” I ask.
“We sit back and wait for the story to hit every damn news stand across the country. I’m waiting for the mayor to get back to me. He was out of state on business yesterday, but he’s due home tonight. If I don’t hear anything by lunchtime tomorrow, I’ll call again, and I’ll keep on calling until I get a response. No luck with the army?”
I shake my head. I’m so fucking frustrated with the army. Every person I speak with is acting like I’m being unreasonable. I know they have a job to do, but something is off. I just can’t put my finger on what it is.
“I can’t help but feel like something is going on, Caleb. I have this gut feeling. Someone is hiding something. Shay is alive. I know she is. I feel it. I know I doubted Carrick at the beginning, but the deeper I delve, this feeling is getting stronger.” I rub at my chest because the pain from all of this is killing me. It feels like I have a knife stuck in my heart, and every so often, it twists deeper and the sharp pain floors me.
Caleb nods. He’s never once told me to prepare myself for the worst or stop talking crap. He’s just been there as a brother and a friend. That’s one thing I love about my family; they’re there for me… anytime.
“I’m not going to lie and say I’m clued up on army business, because I’m out of my depth. But I trust you, Clay. I know you. I also know you wouldn’t be fighting this if you didn’t think you had cause to. I don’t know what we’re fighting yet, but I’ll fight it with you.”
“Thanks, bro. I need to get out of here for a while. I’ll have my cell if you need to get a hold of me.”
“You going to be okay on your own?” asks Caleb.
“Sure. I just need some space to get my head on straight.”
“Okay. Call us if you need us.”
“I will. Go home and get some rest with that amazing woman of yours.”
I leave the office and head out to my truck. I love my family and work colleagues, but there are times I just need to get away from it all. Today is one of those days. I know we need to take things slowly, but that doesn’t stop me from worrying about what Shay is facing now. I know the enemy is ruthless. I know she’ll be suffering every damn day if she’s still alive. It’s boggling my mind and breaking my heart. I wish I had a magic wand to fast forward everything. I’m contradicting myself all the time. Is she alive? Is she dead? I’m never going to be certain until we have proof.
I need answers. And fast.
“Hang in there, short stuff.”
***
I walk into my local club and sit down at the bar. It’s not as busy on a Tuesday evening, so I relish the peace and quiet.
“The usual, hot stuff?” drawls Mandy, the assistant manager I’ve known since I was in kindergarten.
“Sure. Make it a double.”
“Rough day, huh?” She places the amber liquid on the rocks in front of me and leaves the bottle sitting.
“Something like that.” I tilt the glass back and she instantly fills me up.
“Just keep them coming.”
“Look, I finish here in about ten minutes. Why don’t we get out of here? My place is just a block away. I have alcohol, and I make a mean pasta dish.”
I study Mandy for a moment and shrug. “I don’t know, Mandy.”
Mandy and I had a thing in High school. She was my it girl for a while. It wouldn’t be fair to encourage anything between us, because Shay is it for me now. If we end up with her body home, then I’ll need to learn to accept that, which won’t be an easy task. I won’t put my burdens on other people. I need to get my shit sorted before I look to the future.
“As friends, Clay. We know where we stand with one another, and you look like you could use a friend right about now.”
I nod. I know she’s right. I have many friends and family members, but no one outside of that circle who will act normal with me and just let me be me.
“Okay. You’re on. Dinner’s on you.”
I take out my wallet and throw down some cash that I know will cover the drinks and then some. Maybe a distraction is something I need tonight.
“I’ll clock off and get my things. Meet you out front?”
I nod and stand from my stool. I store my keys in my pocket and make my way outside. If it’s only a block away, I can leave my truck in the parking lot and return for it later. The walk will do me good.
***
Mandy walks me up the stairs to her apartment. I haven’t been at this part of the city for a long time. What drew me to it tonight, I’ll never know.
“Welcome.” Mandy walks through her door, kicks off her shoes, and throws down her purse and keys. She looks settled here. It’s homely. It’s got the woman’s touch.