Now? I know better.
“I mean it,” Scarlett presses, as if she’s read my thoughts. “You’re playing with fire now. The bad blood between the Jackals and the Black Roses runs deep as hell. Everyone in Fairview Heights is scared of both gangs, and if you start some shit between them, you could get caught in the crossfire.”
“I know,” I say again, because I’ve considered everything she’s saying. I just refuse to let it stop me.
Scarlett makes a frustrated noise and then sighs. “Okay. Just… I know this is important to you, and I know things have been peaceful between them for a while, but this shit is serious. If you get caught, it could break bad. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
In a way, it’s nice to have her saying things like that. I’ve been feeling so alone in the world since Dad was killed, but it’s a good reminder that I’m not completely on my own. I have Scarlett—my best friend who gives several shits about what could happen to me and wants me to be safe. For her, I’ll do my best not to wind up dead by the end of all this.
“I’ll be careful.” I rest my head against the solid wood of the door. “I promise. I won’t take any more risks than are strictly necessary.”
“Yeah. What worries me is what you might decide is necessary,” she mutters under her breath, but I can tell she’s half teasing. At least, I think she is.
I meant what I said, though. It wasn’t just bullshit; I’m not going to be overly reckless.
I don’t want to go down with the Black Roses, but I’m willing to do what it takes to make sure they burn for what they did. The need for vengeance burns in my chest, and I’m already thinking ahead to tomorrow and my meeting with Paul.
“Anything exciting happening today?” Levi asks as he escorts me to my second class of the day. I’ve gotten pretty used to him being around, and I give him a look as we pass by a cluster of students on the quad.
“Oh yeah,” I reply dryly, arching a brow at him. I’m getting better at slipping into the role I’m supposed to be playing, and it’s always a lot easier to banter and joke with him or Rory than with Sloan. “I’m so ready for another super exciting day of learning. Can’t wait for a pop quiz or a lecture on the Cold War or something.”
He snorts and shrugs one muscled shoulder. “I don’t know, there could be something you’re super into. Maybe you secretly get off on pop quizzes and essay questions. How would I know?”
I roll my eyes at him and shake my head. He’s teasing in that way that’s meant to make me laugh, and I give in and allow a chuckle to fall from my lips, more to keep things feeling natural than because I think it’s funny.
I try extra hard to keep everything feeling light and relaxed as the day goes on, finishing up in my second class of the day and then meeting Levi outside so he can take me across campus to my third class.
Sociology. Where I’m meeting Paul.
As we walk side by side, Levi talks about some show he and Rory were watching last night, but I’m only half listening as we get closer to the building the class is in.
Will Paul even show up? Will Levi somehow figure out what I’m doing?
My heart races as my mind replays Scarlett’s warning to be careful on repeat. I’m being as cautious as I can, finding a way to meet Paul where hopefully none of the guys will ever find out about it.
Getting worked up with worry isn’t going to help anything though, and I try to take a deep breath to calm my nerves without being obvious about it. I laugh at something Levi says about Rory and force my brain away from the negative thoughts.
It’ll be fine. And either way, I have to do this. I’m this close now, and I’m not going to let the fear of getting caught make me doubt my plan. It’s the best path to vengeance I’ve got, and I have to follow it.
When we reach the building, Levi gives me a little chin lift and a small wave, and I walk inside and head to the classroom. It’s a 101 class, so the room is pretty big to accommodate the large number of students.
I bypass the middle section where I usually sit and head for the back. There’s a guy I don’t recognize already sitting there, and my heart thunders as I take the seat beside him. He’s got dark hair, and he’s dressed like a standard college student, in jeans and a hoodie. Still, he seems out of place for the class, and while I don’t know everyone in the class by face, I can tell he’s not here to learn about sociology.
While the rest of the class fills up and Professor Delane moves to the front to begin the lecture, I pull out a piece of paper and start scribbling a note down to pass to Paul.
I can get you information on the Black Roses, I write, if you’re willing to pay for it.
I don’t really care about the money, to be honest. Money can’t fix this. It can’t bring my father back from the dead. But I can’t tell him what I really want or why I want it, and I have a feeling Paul will be suspicious if I try to make it seem like I don’t want anything. So this is the next best thing I can come up with.
Money works just as well as revenge as motivation, really. People are always willing to sell each other out for a quick buck.
One of his eyebrows lifts as he reads the note. Then he writes something himself and passes the paper to me.
What info do you have?
I drum my fingers on the desk, glancing up at the professor for a second to make it seem like I’m paying attention and taking notes before I write out my reply. I don’t have anything yet, but I’ll get it.
How? He sends back, and I can see that he looks a little skeptical.
I’ll get something good, I write. I know some people.
That’s not giving anything away, really. Considering how powerful and influential the Black Roses and the Jackals are in this town, plenty of people know someone who’s either in one of the two gangs or is close to someone in one of the two gangs. Growing up where I did, some of the people I went to school with probably ended up in one gang or the other. It’s just the way things are.
Paul reads the note when I pass it back to him, and he doesn’t immediately start writing a response. He looks up at the professor, who’s droning on about something I can’t even pretend I’m listening to.
The dark-haired guy seems like he’s thinking it over, and I bite my lip, holding my breath to see what his response will be. If he doesn’t want to make a deal, then I’m not sure what the next step will be. I’ll have to find someone else who will, I guess, but that will take time.
I don’t know if Scarlett knows anyone else, and it’s not like I have a lot of time to search for more Jackals who might be willing to help me when I’m being flanked at every turn by three members of the Black Roses.
My heart thuds against my ribs, and I chew my lip so hard I nearly break the skin.
I need this to work.
I need this to be a worthwhile risk to take, so I can do what I need to do and put it all to rest. It’s the only way I’m going to be able to move on.
Finally, the piece of paper comes back across my desk. Okay. If you get some useful stuff, then I promise you’ll get paid. Only if it’s useful shit, though. Here’s my number. Call me if you get something.
Relief crashes over me, and I finally let out the breath I’ve been holding. I take the note and fold it up in eighths, then shove it into my school bag. That’s the first step done. The contact has been made, and he’s agreed to work with me.