It’s the “please” that breaks me in the end. I already wanted to tell her anyway, and having her ask like that makes it impossible to deny her.
I suck in a breath, and it’s shuddery and almost painful.
“Dad’s gone,” I whisper, slumping back against the bench. “Fuck. God.”
I put my hands over my face, pressing my palms against my closed eyes until I see little colored lights in the darkness. It’s the first time I’ve said that out loud to another human being, and it feels a little like I just spoke the truth into existence.
Like that single sentence made this all real.
“What? What do you mean he’s gone?” Scarlett’s voice has an edge to it like she’s trying not to panic yet. Like she already knows exactly what I mean but is hoping she’s wrong. “He’s not…”
I nod. “Yeah. He’s dead.”
“How—how do you know?”
“Because I watched Sloan shoot him.”
Now it’s her turn to suck in a sharp breath, and I drop my hands to look at her. There’s surprise written all over her face, and pain in her eyes.
She’s known my dad since we were both little. It wasn’t strange for her to be at my house several nights a week, asking him to make grilled cheese sandwiches or help us with whatever new random project we had decided to tackle. I had one dead parent and one amazing one, and she had two shitty parents who could never keep their shit together long enough to put much effort into raising their daughter. So my dad took on that role often, always making her feel welcome in our house.
He was a part of her life too, and now he’s gone.
“I…” She presses her lips together and then shakes her head. Her blue eyes shine like she’s holding back tears. “How? Why? I thought things were working out. I thought…”
I snort, but there’s no humor in the sound, not really. It’s just pain and bitterness and exhaustion at this point.
“Yeah. I thought that too. I asked Levi to let Dad out of the deal, or at least see if he could find some way to do it, and he told me he’d talk to Gavin. I actually felt sort of hopeful after that. And then I followed Sloan, and he just…” I let out a choppy breath. “He met my dad, and they talked. Dad told him he needed more time to complete whatever errand the Black Roses forced on him, and instead of giving it to him, Sloan just shot him. I watched him fall. I watched Sloan shove his body into a trunk.”
“Fuck.”
Scarlett wraps a piece of her honey-blonde hair around her fingers, twisting it so tightly that her skin turns a darker pink. She’s staring at the ground in front of the bench, but I don’t think she’s really seeing it.
I know exactly how she feels. I’ve at least had a few days to process the shock, although it still hits me like a ton of bricks every time I think about it.
“You want to know the really fucked up part?” I clench my hands into fists. “The fucked up part is that I’m still there. In their house. Living with them. Walking around like everything’s normal. Like I don’t know my own father was killed by one of them—shot in cold blood.”
Scarlett shakes her head, face pale. She’s quiet for a moment, and I give her some more time to process it all. It’s a lot, and in the back of my mind, I feel bad for not warning her that this was such a huge damn mess before I started talking. I know she was worried about me, but she probably wasn’t thinking it would be anything on this level of fucked up when she asked me if I was okay.
But then, Scarlett’s never let me down before. No matter what I’ve been going through, she’s always been there.
I can see her trying to shake off her sadness and surprise, pulling her best friend mask on so she can be there for me and process her own feelings later. I love her so much for that.
“That’s… really fucking messed up, Mercy,” she says finally, and I laugh a little because she’s not wrong. She winces, turning to face me. “Oh god, I feel so bad now. I was joking about you hooking up with them and being in a harem or whatever, and I had no idea it was going to get this serious. This fucked up.”
“I know.” I take her hand, threading our fingers together. “It’s not your fault though. We had no way of predicting what would happen. And I don’t know what Rory and Levi know. Maybe they’re a part of it, maybe they’re not, but at the end of the day, I guess it doesn’t really matter. They’re a part of this.” I wave my free hand vaguely to encompass me and the world in general. “The Black Roses are responsible for what happened to my dad, and Levi and Rory are both part of the gang. That’s where their loyalties lie.”
Scarlett nods, chewing on her bottom lip. Her eyes aren’t as glassy anymore, and I can already see the shock and pain turning into anger, just like it did inside my own heart.
“Yeah. You definitely can’t trust any of them.” She makes a face. “So what are you going to do?”
I lean back a little, organizing my thoughts before I speak. It helps to talk this out with someone instead of getting stuck in my head about it all, going over and over the same ideas and plans a dozen times.
“They don’t know I know about Sloan killing my dad, and I’m trying hard to make sure it stays that way.”
Her eyebrows shoot up a little. “What? Why?”
My heart beats faster, a surge of adrenaline spiking through me as I speak. “They’re acting like nothing has happened, so I am too. The longer they don’t know that anything has changed for me, the better.”
“I don’t get it.” She shakes her head, and I can see the worry and confusion on her face. “Don’t you want to get out of there? And if there’s no reason for you to stay, you should get out of there before—”
“I want to make them pay, Scar,” I interrupt. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to stay and ruin them from the inside. I want them to know what it feels like to lose the things you love and be helpless to stop it. I wanted to get back at them when they first started fucking with my dad, but I want even more than that now. I want to take them down. For good.”
“Holy fuck. Mercy.” Scarlett squeezes my hand, giving me a serious look. “I know you’re pissed off, and I don’t blame you at all for anything you’re feeling right now, but… shit. What you’re talking about is crazy.”
I swallow, my stomach churning. “I don’t care.”
“But you can’t do something like that all by yourself,” she presses, lifting one leg onto the bench so she can turn toward me more fully. “You’re just one person, you know? You’re not even in a gang yourself. The Black Roses control at least half the city. They have people everywhere. Even if you manage to fuck with the three guys you’re staying with, there’s no telling what could come down on you from the rest of the gang in retaliation. The only people who have a chance at taking them down as a whole would be like… the Jackals.”
I open my mouth to argue with her again, to tell her that I don’t give a shit how hard it may be or how likely it is that I’ll die in the attempt—I’m still going to try.
But then something clicks in my head.