He grinned at me and stepped aside. "I wouldn’t be a good host if I didn’t take care of your needs," he replied and pushed the door shut behind me.
I wondered for a moment if he knew about his daughter and his best friend. Did he care?
"So, how did you enjoy going out with Donna last night?"
I shrugged. "It was pretty fun. I’ve never really done anything like that before. Fun to try new things, I suppose."
"Yes, Andrew mentioned that you … uh, that you didn’t go out partying a lot when you were back home," he replied delicately.
It was clear he was avoiding sharing whatever the actual less-than-flattering terms my stepfather had used for me were. I was going to prove them so wrong as soon as I got the chance, they were just going to have to wait and see. Not that I was hoping they were going to find out about what I had in mind. No, I could just imagine them shipping me right back home if they discovered that. An over-correction, was that what they called it? Either way, I had a lot of lost time to catch up on, and I had no intention of letting any more of it slip away.
"Oh, he doesn’t know everything about me," I murmured and leaned on his desk right next to him, so close that our legs were touching. He glanced down to the spot where our knees had connected, and I flashed him a smile. "I mean, a girl’s got to have her secrets, right?" I remarked with a slight giggle. He dragged his eyes away from me for a moment, like even looking me right in the face was more than he could take.
"You want to know one of mine?” I asked, lowering my voice, as though what I was about to tell him was for his ears and his ears only. He looked up at me, and I could see the glimmer of curiosity in his eyes, even if he didn’t want to admit it out loud. I dipped my head down to his ear, so close to him I could almost taste the desire in the air between us. "I’m a virgin, Thom.” I couldn’t believe I was saying those words out loud. Until recently, I would have made sure that nobody knew about that; sure that everyone was judging me for being so far behind when it came to development and adulthood and everything else. But Donna had told me innocence turned men on. What could be more innocent than that?
"Why are you telling me this?” he asked, his voice low. He turned his head so his mouth was just an inch from mine. I could see the tension in his jaw, and it filled me with sureness. I could do this. No, more than that--I could make him do this. I could convince him he’d been the one to want me all along.
"Because I don’t want to be one anymore, Thom," I continued, eyes fixed on him. "And I want to give it to someone who I know can make it … special for me."
I slid down into his lap, winding my arms around his neck. It was still something of a shock that this all came so easily to me. Had this just been waiting to come out all this time? No wonder I was such a mess before this. What gargantuan effort had I been putting in to make sure that this side of me didn’t catch a breath of air?
His eyes slid up my body again, and I heard him take a long, shaky breath. I could feel him stirring beneath me. He wanted this. He wanted me. I had seen it in his eyes the night before when he had seen me in that dress, something had shifted about the way he looked at me.
"Cindy," he murmured. "I don’t know ..."
I pulled my skirt up another inch. His hand came to rest on my bare thigh.
"How about now?” I offered.
And with that, finally, he gave in.
When he kissed me, he kissed me hard, his fingers sinking into my thigh roughly to keep me in place as he pushed his tongue deep into my mouth. His other hand was in my hair, tugging, pulling my head to the side so he could run his mouth over my neck. I gasped at the feel of his teeth on my skin. I had no idea he could be this rough. I wondered how long it had been since he’d fucked anyone. For a moment, I was amused by the fact that both of us would be breaking our sex-fasts.
He pulled me off him and planted me down on the desk, pushing my legs apart and grabbing my face so he could kiss me again. I loved how hard he moved against me, as though he had been waiting for this since I’d walked through the door. Had he lain in bed and imagined me giving myself to him like this? Maybe touched himself the same way I had? The notion sent a jolt of want through me.
His hands roamed between my legs and pulled off my panties, tossing them aside, as though he had lived out this moment a hundred times before in his head. My blood was pulsing in my system, and I swear I could feel it pooling deep down in my belly, the heat from his touch making my body ache for more. I could see the outline of his erection through his pants, and, though it was a little scary, it aroused me, too. He wanted me the same way I wanted him. That kind of power was enough to make a girl dizzy.
He wrapped one arm around my waist and kissed me hard, sliding the other between my legs and pressing his fingers against the crook of my thigh.
"Tell me you want this," he ordered me.
I took a moment to catch my breath.
"I want this," I gasped, and I meant it.
That was all the permission he needed from me. He slid his hand to my pussy and dipped his fingers into my soaking slit.
It was the first time anyone other than me or my doctor had been down there, and it felt as though every desire I had been doing such a good job keeping under wraps was threatening to rise up and burst free of me all at once. I knew this was wrong, knew I could land the both of us in so much trouble, but the fact that he didn’t care, that he was still willing to do this with me drove me crazy.
The sensation was a little strange at first, but then he pushed his fingers deeper inside of me and it started to feel good--really good. I groaned and hooked an arm around his neck, pulling him close, inhaling his sweet, intoxicating scent. How had I held out for so long? I had no idea. Finally giving myself over to the pleasure, to the endless, impossible goodness, it felt ridiculous that I had ever been able to hold back.
"Fuck, you’re so wet," he growled into my ear, and I found myself pushing my hips back down against him. I wanted him inside me, deeper. I wanted to feel something more. I could almost imagine what it would be like to have his cock there, filling me, taking me, making me his. He kissed my neck, his stubble tearing on my skin, and I tipped my head back and reveled in it, took it in, every moment, every inch--
And then, suddenly, it all stopped.
He stepped away from me, pulled his fingers out, drew his mouth away from mine. I opened my eyes, wondering what was going on and then I saw the look on his face. I knew whatever he had been about to give me, he had changed his mind.
"What is it?" I panted.
He shook his head. "We can’t do this. I’m sorry. We can’t do this, this is wrong ..."
"No, no," I pleaded with him. "We can. Just come back here--"
"Cindy, I need to ..." he began, but he trailed off before he came out with anything convincing. Shaking his head, he backed off and walked out of the office.
I was left sitting there, more frustrated than ever, and wondering what it was going to take to find a man who was willing to give me what I wanted.
Chapter 6
Take what you need
I twisted back and forth in front of the mirror, checking myself out. This was pretty much how I had looked when she’d taken me out on the town, right? I mean, I felt like I had done a pretty good job throwing this look together, given I had no clue what I was doing. As far as I was concerned, as long as I looked sexy, I didn’t care what else anyone thought of my outfit. And, this time, I knew I was going to get what I needed.