‘Yeah, well, I couldn’t see him from the front door, so I walked round the back and sneaked in. But he wasn’t at the bar. I had a quick scoot round before anyone saw me, but I couldn’t spot him anywhere. Must have been in the loos, because his car’s still out front.’
‘Any women sitting on their own, like they were waiting for someone?’
‘There were all sorts of people in there.’ Hailey sounded a bit cagey and Sara wondered if she was telling her everything, worried perhaps that she would jump to the wrong conclusion. ‘Look, I’ll wait outside and keep checking on what’s happening if you like.’
‘Are you sure?’ Sara stopped pacing. ‘I don’t want you hanging around.’
‘No problem.’ The line went dead.
Nerves tugged at Sara’s belly. It wasn’t like Matt to drink during the day. In fact, he had a rule that he didn’t drink during the week, saving his alcohol quota for Saturdays. It was what he’d always done. Or at least she thought he had. Now she was wondering if she knew his habits as well as she’d thought she did.
She busied herself with getting the pizzas in the oven, checked that Ezra was still awake and spent ten minutes folding clothes into piles, one for each family member. Just as she was about to call the girls down for their food, the door opened and in walked Matt.
She gaped at him in stunned silence as he threw his briefcase on the floor, slung his jacket after it and headed straight for the fridge, where he pulled out one of his weekend beers and cracked it open, taking a big slug.
‘Matt, what’s going on?’
He glugged his beer, not stopping until the bottle was empty. Then he wiped the back of his hand across his mouth before he finally looked at her. ‘We need to talk.’
He had a strange look in his eyes, a sadness about him, a heaviness in his stance. Oh my God. He’s going to tell me he’s leaving. She clung to the worktop, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still, the two of them looking at each other in the sort of silence that never has a happy ending.
The girls must have smelt the food because they came thundering down the stairs before she had a chance to call them, chatting and giggling, phones in their hands as if they’d grown there and were part of their anatomy. The noise shattered Sara’s fearful thoughts, bringing her back to the moment and the smell of burning. She dashed to the oven, relieved to see it was just the edge of the top pizza that had caught. The other one looked fine, and she quickly cut it into slices, jiggled the pieces onto plates and put them on the table, where she’d already placed the bowl of salad.
‘Thanks, Mrs Whitlock,’ Chelsea said with a broad smile. ‘Smells lovely.’
Despite her concerns about Matt, Sara smiled back. Chelsea had such beautiful manners and she wondered where she’d gone wrong with her two girls, who were helping themselves to salad without even acknowledging her existence.
‘You’re welcome,’ she said as she went to get Ezra from the lounge. She tried to make sure the whole family had their evening meal together, so there was one point in the day when they could chat and have a catch-up, but it was tricky keeping Ezra awake long enough for him to join in.
When she got back to the kitchen, Ezra clutching her hand, Pikachu dragging along the floor in his wake, she was surprised to find that Matt had gone.
She frowned. ‘Where’s your dad?’ she asked Amelia.
‘He went outside. With a couple of beers.’ Amelia pulled a face. ‘What’s up with him? Looks like he’s in a stinker of a mood.’
Sara shrugged and gave a fleeting smile, not wanting Chelsea to get the impression there was a problem. ‘I’ve no idea, love. Will you sort out Ezra while I go and see if he’s eating with us?’
She left without waiting for an answer, knowing exactly where she’d find Matt. He was in the garage, which sat on the other side of a covered walkway next to the house. His man cave, as he liked to call it. Not long after they’d moved in to the house, when the twins were still infants, he’d divided the garage in two, making a room for himself in one half and a storeroom in the other. Gradually, as finances allowed, he’d installed electricity, then heating and a bit of furniture, and now this was where he came with his mates to watch football and play on the Xbox. It meant they could be as rowdy as they liked and not disturb the kids.
He was sitting on the sofa, staring at the blank TV screen, his face wet with tears.
Sara’s heart stuttered and she stopped in the doorway. Matt never, ever cried and a horrible uneasiness settled in her stomach. She was in uncharted territory with a storm brewing and no shelter in sight. The sound of her pulse filled her ears.
She hesitated, just for a moment, before she rushed over and sat beside him. ‘Bloody hell, Matt. What’s wrong?’ She put an arm round his shoulders and gently wiped his tears away, but he didn’t look at her. His empty beer bottle hung from his fingers, swinging backwards and forwards, like the pendulum of a clock, as he stared straight ahead.
He can’t tell me. Oh my God, this is it. This is where he says he’s leaving. She couldn’t bear it, couldn’t stand the not knowing. Her hand tightened on his shoulder and she held him close, breathed in the spicy scent of him as if it was the last time. ‘Tell me, Matt. You’ve got to tell me.’
Seconds turned into minutes, his body shaking with the force of his heartbeat. He heaved in a deep breath and let out the longest sigh before he finally spoke.
‘I’ve been laid off. Made redundant.’
His words hit her hard, like she’d just run into a wall. Her jaw dropped as she processed what he’d said. Oh God, I got it wrong, so wrong. The relief slackened the muscles that had been holding her rigid, but after a few moments, she realised this news was just as bad, but in a different way.
She gulped, hoping she might have misheard. Misunderstood. ‘What? They can’t have. They were taking on staff not long ago. Talking to you about promotion.’
He nodded, still staring at the wall as if he was in a trance. ‘We lost that big contract. A major bit of work for a government department.’ His voice was thick and weary. ‘They just pulled it without warning. A change in policy, would you believe? They’ve spent millions building this system, but there’s a new project team, and when they looked at all their budgets, they decided to mothball it.’
The bottle slipped from his fingers and clattered to the floor, spinning off under the sofa. She flinched, startled by the noise. He didn’t seem to notice, though, his eyes still fixed on the blank screen in front of him.
‘The company has overstretched itself, apparently. Didn’t read the warning signs. Everyone’s been laid off.’ He turned to her and she could see that his eyes were brimming, chin quivering, his emotions barely under control. ‘They’ve gone bust. There’s no redundancy pay. Probably no salary this month.’ He leant forwards, elbows on his knees, head hanging between his shoulders. ‘That’s it,’ he mumbled to the floor. ‘I’m unemployed.’
Sara laid her head on his shoulder and rubbed his back, trying to think of something soothing to say while her mind started doing mental arithmetic, adding up their monthly outgoings. They had a mortgage. An overdraft. Credit cards. Two car loans. Three kids. None of that was cheap. A surge of panic flowed through her, bringing her out in a cold sweat. How are we ever going to manage? What if we can’t?