Jake being the biggest blow. He hadn’t been back since she woke up.
They’d been so close, Kelly and Jake. She’d taken him to every baseball practice, attended every event at his school, and had been his movie buddy.
After her reaction to him, Jake had run from the room completely freaked and understandably upset. I’d texted him, of course, to make sure he was okay and to tell him I’d be staying at the hospital, but he and Kelly had had no further communication.
I picked out a couple of books by authors Kelly liked, all of which had been released while she was in her coma, then grabbed a package of peanut M & M’s. Kelly had always had a weakness for them.
I was walking out when I heard someone call, “Sean.”
At first, I thought it was Maddy, who I hadn’t spoken to since I got the call about my wife. She hadn’t contacted me, although I hadn’t really expected her to. It wasn’t her style to impose, and she knew how much Kelly’s waking would mean to me. But I hadn’t contacted her either and I felt a little guilty about that.
Still, she had no business coming to the hospital, so I turned my head, ready to ask her to leave, when I saw it wasn’t Maddy, but Karen. Kelly’s best friend.
My heart stuttered when I saw her standing there, a bouquet of flowers in one hand, and a paperback that matched one of the books in my stack in the other.
Karen and I had always tolerated each other for Kelly’s sake, but had never gotten along all that well. We’d developed a routine over the years to avoid spending time together, with Karen coming to visit Kelly the first Friday of every month, and me making myself scarce during their time.
The last time we’d seen each other had been after she’d found out about me and Madeline, and she’d come to the store to confront me.
“I can’t believe you didn’t call me,” Karen said as she stalked toward me, her tone scathing.
“I’m sorry, things have been so crazy. I honestly didn’t think about it,” I admitted, biting back a sigh.
“Yeah, I’m sure that was the reason,” Karen retorted sarcastically. “Thankfully, Mrs. Carter contacted me to let me know Kelly was awake. I’m going to see her now.”
I wasn’t surprised Kelly’s mom had called Karen. She knew we didn’t get along, and she’d always loved to do anything possible to make my life uncomfortable.
“I know she’ll be happy to see you. She’s having a rough time adjusting,” I told her as we walked down the hall to the elevator.
“I bet,” Karen replied, her tone softening. Then she stopped walking and turned slightly toward me. “Have you told her?”
I closed my eyes and shook my head. My heart beat painfully in my chest, like it did every time I imaged telling Kelly about Maddy.
“No, not yet. I couldn’t. Not after her reaction to losing five years, and her terror over seeing Jake. I couldn’t add anything else to her plate,” I said, looking pleadingly at Karen. Begging her to understand. “I will, of course I will, I just need a little more time.”
“I’m sorry that Kelly’s having a hard time, it must be a nightmare to realize you’ve lost five years of your life, but … she deserves to know, and the longer you keep it from her, the worse it’s going to be when she finds out,” Karen said, and although I knew she was right, I still felt it was too soon. “I’ll give you three days. If you don’t tell her by then, I’ll tell her myself. She has a right to know.”
Before I could argue, Karen spun on her heel and went to the elevator. She pressed the button, got on, and watched me as the door closed.
I just stood there my body filled with terror.
Because I understood that to me, it had been five long years. I’d spent the first year full of hope, then the second full of despair, before grieving my wife during the third. I hadn’t even started dating again until two years ago, although it had only ever been Maddy, so I guess you couldn’t even call what I’d done dating.
To Kelly, however, it felt like the last time we’d made love had been weeks ago, not years, and although she might logically be able to understand why I’d moved on, there was no way she would emotionally.
The thought of telling her the truth terrified me, because I knew there was a very real possibility that doing so would ensure that I lost my wife again.
This time … permanently.
Six
Kelly
God, I am so tired…
And no, I didn’t mean sleepy tired. I’d been asleep for five years, I was good … but I was tired of everything else.
The beeping of the monitors.
Laying in this godforsaken bed.
My mother and husband hovering over me and acting as if I might disappear at any moment.
But, mostly, I was tired of the awkwardness that now existed between me and Jake. He hadn’t been back to see me since I’d woken up and screamed at the sight of him. I’m sure he was hurting just as much as I was and more than anything I wanted the opportunity to speak with him … to hold him again.
It was devastating.
My little guy was becoming a man, and I’d missed it. I’d missed middle school and his transition to high school. His first girlfriend. Watching him hit puberty and measuring as he grew to become the impossibly tall person he was today.
It was hard to wrap my head around.
To come to terms with the fact that my little boy was gone. My buddy. My baseball star. I didn’t have time to get used to him growing into a teenager, to let him go bit by bit as he grew up and became more independent.
No. Before I went to sleep, he was momma’s boy, and now, he didn’t even come to visit me.
It had been a few weeks since I woke up. My mother had left this morning to go back home, thank God. Not that I didn’t love her or appreciate the fact that she was happy I woke up, but the constant smothering and tension between her and Sean had been slowly driving me insane.
I was currently alone in my room, hoping someone would come to see me soon. I was tired of reading and watching TV, and the doctor had told me that I could make my first trip down to the cafeteria but had to have someone accompany me.
Sean, Karen, Jake … I wasn’t picky. I just needed someone to come and get me out of this room, even if it was only for twenty minutes. I looked at the clock on the wall and tried to remember when Sean said he’d be back when I heard a knock on the door.
I turned toward the door to see a red-haired man peer around the corner.
“Hello?” I called, wondering if he was in the wrong room. “Can I help you?”
He stepped inside. He was about as tall as Sean, although a bit more muscular, with deep-red hair and bright-green eyes. He wore a pleasant smile and was wringing his hands as he walked a couple steps toward me, then stopped.
“Yes, Kelly,” he began, then cleared his throat nervously. “I’m Connor…”
When he didn’t elaborate, I looked at him closely. There was something about him that was familiar … his voice …. his face, but I couldn’t place him.
“Do I know you?” I asked, tilting my head as I searched his features.
“I was the man you pulled out of the car. You saved my life,” Connor said, the words gushing out as if he could no longer hold them in. “Mine and my daughter’s. You’re our hero, and I can’t thank you enough.”