“I never said anything about leaving Sean,” I replied, even though she damn well knew I hadn’t. “I understand you’re upset … so am I … but this is between Sean and me. You and Dad are not involved.”
My mother huffed at that. The woman had always felt very comfortable giving her opinions on how I ran my life. I don’t know why I expected this to be any different.
“He was carrying on with another woman, Kelly, while you were sick and in the hospital.”
“I was in a coma and he didn’t think I’d ever wake up,” I replied, my voice getting louder.
I wasn’t sure why I was defending him, or even if I was, but she seriously could not be believed.
“That’s no excuse. Your father and I never gave up hope.”
“Mom,” I said on a sigh. “It’s not quite the same thing. Regardless, I can’t take a trip out there right now.”
“Have you been by the bookstore yet? He said he built it for you, right? Has he even mentioned you starting to work there?”
“He asks me about going to the bookstore all the time, I just wasn’t ready,” I told her. “But I told Sean this morning that I’d like to go by and see it tomorrow.”
“Well, at least that’s something. I still think you should reconsider staying in your marriage…”
“Mom.”
“I know, dear, it’s your life, not mine. Just know, I’m here for you … whatever you need.”
“Thanks, Mom. I appreciate it.”
“All right. Talk soon.”
“Okay. Love you,” I said, which was true. Even if she drove me batty half the time, I was grateful to have the support of her and my father.
“Love you, too.”
After we hung up, I busied myself once more, this time peeling potatoes for dinner.
I couldn’t help but go over the things my mother said and wonder if she had a point. Was I dragging my feet? Holding on to a grudge rather than working to make things better?
Maybe it was time for me to make a decision. To either move forward and work on this marriage, or to let it, and Sean, go.
The thought was overwhelming, and really more than I could handle in that moment, so I shoved it from my mind, turned on Adele, and lost myself in mundane tasks.
Sixteen
Jacob
Loneliness breeds emptiness and emptiness brings pain
My love for you used to fill me up, now I’m fighting to remain
“No, that’s not right,” I muttered, erasing the words off the page of my notebook and bringing the pencil to my mouth as I tried to put what I was feeling into song.
I’d gotten a job working at the coffee house where I always did my open mic nights, which meant I had the opportunity to see what other musicians had to offer, but I had less time to write, and less time to hang with Ally, which she did not like.
When Summit, the manager, had offered me the position, I’d jumped at the chance. Not just for the extra dough and chance to listen to other artists, but to get out of my house.
My mom was home. And, although it was great, and weird, to have her here, listening to her and my dad fight was not so great.
Oh, they tried to present a united front. Our rare dinners together were full of strained silence and forced smiles, but on occasion, when they thought I was out of the house, or asleep, I’d hear the yelling.
Mostly, it was my dad’s voice streaming through the house. Expressing his remorse over cheating and his frustration that things between him and my mom were not going well, but I was pretty sure a lot of it stemmed from his guilt as well.
After all, he was the asshole who cheated on his wife while she was in a coma.
What could I say, I didn’t have a lot of respect for the guy.
I felt bad for my mom, though. It wasn’t fair that she’d gone from five years in a coma to finally coming home, only to find out that life had happened while she was asleep.
Pretty much everything had changed.
Updates to technology, buildup in our town, the bookstore, my dad meeting Madeline, and me growing up.
I’m sure to her this was some sort of bizarro universe, which she wanted desperately to escape. Unfortunately, she couldn’t. I wasn’t sure what went on in her head, or what her plans were for the future, I just knew she was struggling with the present.
I wanted to help her, sure I did, but I wasn’t sure how.
After all, what could a teenager really do? I went to work, school, open mic, and hung out with Ally. I stayed out of trouble and got good grades. I didn’t want to make things any harder on my mom than they already were.
I just wish my dad would be as considerate.
I knew I should try to see his side of things as well, after all he’d also dealt with a lot, but shit, hadn’t we all? Maybe if things between us hadn’t gotten so shitty, I’d be more empathetic, but as it was, I was starting to think we’d all be better off if she just left his ass.
“Honey?”
There was a knock on my door. My mother’s voice came from the other side.
“Yeah?” I called back.
“Ally just got dropped off. We’re about ready for dinner.”
“Okay, I’ll be right down.”
My mom had invited Ally over a couple times, trying to get to know her despite their initial meeting and, I think, trying to show me that she was interested in being an active part of my life.
I also knew that she wanted me to invite her to an open mic night, but I wasn’t ready yet.
Over the last five years, I’d gotten used to doing stuff on my own, and it was hard to get used to having a parent who actually gave a fuck. Plus, I wanted to make sure I had the perfect song ready for when she did come.
Call me a kid, but I wanted her to be proud of me. To be impressed by what I did, and hopefully think I had talent.
I put down my guitar, closed my notebook, and went downstairs to see my girl and join everyone for dinner. Since my mom had been back, there’d been a no Ally allowed alone in my room with the doors closed rule, so in order to resist temptation, we hung out downstairs.
Now, we went to her house when we needed alone time.
“Hey, babe,” I said, giving Ally a quick kiss on the lips when I met her at the base of the stairs.
“Hey,” she replied, snuggling in.
Being apart had been hard on Ally. She craved my attention, and affection, and although she wasn’t a big fan of hanging out with my parents, she said she’d do anything if it meant spending time with me. I’d been trying to be better with her, more understanding of her feelings. And, honestly, the time apart made it easier to be with her, at least on my end.
“You do anything after school?” I asked, taking her hand and walking with her into the dining room.
“Hung out with Callie and put in a couple applications.”
“Oh? Are you looking for a job, Ally?” my dad asked as he took his seat at the head of the table.
“Yes, Mr. Talbot,” she replied, sitting after I pulled out her chair. “I tried the movie theater, library, and there’s a hostess position at the café.”
“I’m sure you’ll get picked up by one of them,” he replied.
“Yes, good luck,” my mom added. “Dig in.”