At the bleach white dull sheen to the pale, gnarled, veritable tusk protruding from Creamsicle’s pronounced, quizzically scrunched brow, I let out a distressed, “Eep,” and stumbled back.
One look at my horn and Creamsicle uni-horn man, no pretty wings for this equine humanoid, and he let out what I could only describe as a deep, softly uttered whinny. Whoa, Nelly.
My hand slapped to my mouth before my spluttered laughter’d had a chance to erupt. This was so a dream!! He whinnied? Sputtering into my hand, flustered, Cap squirming, his tiny feet kicking as if to retreat from the fluffy fuzzed, towering threat, my cheeks flushed dark pink, heat filling my face following.
Releasing me, his long arms having followed with my retreat, he finally relinquished his crazy strong hold. One hand went to his forehead, brushing the lump of skin bulging around his slightly crooked, gnarled horn. His gaze darted repeatedly from my shocked face to Cap, to that black, curved bane of my existence protruding from my otherwise human face.
Shuffling backwards until my backside hit the wall, rattling the tapestry behind me’s wooden posts at the ends pinning it to the walls, I clutched Cap close, pressing him to my chest, and squeezed my eyes shut tight.
“This is a dream. This is a dream. This is a dream,” I mumbled, nearly chanted, under my breath.
“What dream be this, then?” a disgustingly deep voice, like rocks grinding, vibrating into me at his nearness, queried.
“A nightmare,” I lamented. “A really weird, sugar high induced one.”
“Sugar high?” that gravel filled rumble uttered.
Creamsicle. Of all the... Sliding my eyes open cautiously, I found Creamsicle staring down at me with an oddly attractive—considering he was a walking Unicorn man—look on his face. That long face twitched, like it itched to speak, shrewd gaze watching me disconcertedly. His head cocked to the side, thick, curly mop of bright orange and blond streaked hair bisecting his head flopping to the side with the movement. Examining him with equal interest, I took this male’s measure. He looked battle hardened, like he sharpened battle axes for fun and bench-pressed Buicks. No way this wasn’t a fever dream. Nodding to myself, I leaned in, bold as you please, and did only what I’d have had the guts to do under duress in such wild imaginings of my own making. With a deep, fortifying breath, I pressed my face to one of many hairless, thick scars along his wide chest, relishing the odd, vanilla and honey scent to the man, and licked him.
Creamsicle startled, jerking back. A strangled noise leapt from his throat as a wide, thick, three fingered, almost hoof like ended fingernails on a ridiculously thick hand slapped to his chest. The male gaped down at me, wild royal purple eyes wide as he silently gumflapped, floppy fishmouthed, down at me.
Human teeth. Unlike Gasep the Pegosian, Creamsicle had shorter, smaller features bordering on human mixed in with that horse face. His lips were more flexible, pliant, better animated as he expressed himself or spoke, and he had regular ol’ human looking teeth. The combination was weird.
And he was totally not a dream, tasted about as he smelled, if with a hint of salty sweat, and I’d just, gosh almighty I think I might faint, gone and licked him.
“‘Scuse me,” I blurted, my voice coming out squeaky and high-pitched, and hightailed it down the long hall. A hint of sunshine peeking just up ahead said I’d found an exit. Taking off at a run, ignoring the way my heart was beating as wildly as Cap’s was beneath my palm, I ran right out of this... castle? Keep? What did one call these things and why wasn’t this a dream? Holy bajoles, I just licked a Unicorn man built like an XXL linebacker!
The end of the hall led to a winding corridor with more ways to choose to go than I could wrap my head around, but straight ahead there was a heavy looking metal door propped open with a rock, that sweet sunshine streaming in. “Door number one,” I mumbled under my breath and rushed through. Aaaand I ended up dumped into the middle of a muddy, barnyard menagerie.
A group of mainly sheep based looking women to my left sat under an eave stirring pots of soaking clothes, some filled with colors, others clear, soon to be dirtied water. Every now and then one of them would bleat out a laugh and I’d glance towards them, trying not to stare. Sheep people... Sheeples? Lambians? Rambians? There were sheep people.
Strange beasts, scaled, long tailed lizard chickens hiss-crowing, pecked unsuspecting passerby’s booted feet. Large lizard like creatures with far too many legs, smoosh nosed Komodo dragons without tails, the size of draft horses, roamed freely, brands in their hindquarters like marked cattle.
Mud squished beneath my toes, cold, wet, probably not all mud... Ick.
Not real. Not real! I licked a Creamsicle Unicorn man, oh my god... and maybe kinda liked it. Not real!
A smithy up ahead, clanging away on whatever he was working on, glanced up, shaggy mane of hair on a lion faced man, his thick wings, the tops trimmed with maroon like in his mane, pinned to his back, dark green scaled tail flicking in annoyance behind him at my unabashed gawking, returned the favor with a narrowed, slits for red eyes, look. More creatures peered out from the pit, flashing eyes, all lengths of manes, some double horned, others winged like the first Manticore-like smithy.
“Not real.” NOT REAL. My head spun.
A group was gathered, mostly males, it looked like, practicing sword fighting in a corral looking wooden ring with glowing green rocks humming loudly around them, all cheering the fighters on. Horned horse men, winged horsemen, sprinkled beings in-between, horse legged men with human upper halves, shaggy heads of thick hair and human faces with thick beards, Centaurs, Minotaurs, reverse Minotaurs, everything in between. The bird men flittering about probably startled me the most, dropping in from the sky to make their way to what looked like a market/bazaar bordering on an unending length of forest up ahead. I’d well and truly fallen down the rabbit hole. The horned hole? Har-har. Vel, you’ve cracked.
A distressed noise left me, my heart pounding so hard little pangs started up. Sharp pains jabbed at the organ thudding away in my breast. Awesome, now I may be having a heart attack. Wouldn’t that just be the perfect way to go, delusional, in the land of who the hell knew where, in mud that might not be mud, in my damned pajamas, orphaning poor Cap and leaving him to their dog snacking mercy.
My hands tightened on Cap and I made a weird, distressed noise. My other hand went to Cap’s back and I began to pet his shivering form soothingly.
“She’s loose?” Leste squawked. “What do you mean she went thatta way? Why did you not go after her, you brute! Eep! Never mind. I’ll go after her myself. Gasep, my liege! Come! We’ve a witch to capture!”
Deep rumbling conversation followed as the sound of footsteps pounded down the hall, headed in my direction.
Turning, I faced the unkempt wizard, mage, whatever he wished to think of himself as. My heart pounded so hard in my ears I could hear little else. The second he appeared, the damn burst and I shouted, unaware of the volume of my voice, “I just want to go home, you ridiculous man!”
Leste gaped at me as a wave boomed after my words, like a rush of wind, a sonic boom or some such madness, tipped in a strange, pink spray of sparkle like glitter, sending him flying back and right into the door he’d just come rushing from. Stumbling into Gasep, who’d been standing braced in the doorway, the mage slammed to his butt and slid back.