“I really probably should get out more,” I admitted, cradling an icepack to my face six episodes in later. Cap snored softly to my left, laid out on his back, little legs kicking as he chased some dream foe. Another episode started and I mumbled faintly, “Maybe.”
Chapter 3
A noise startled me to full wakefulness. Grunting, my hand shot up, blocking the eager face licker attempting to shove his anteater like tongue up my nose and clean into my friggin’ brain. “Quirt et,” I mumbled through the side of my mouth, lips pinched, lest he try and lick there too.
Sitting up, upending my little good morning kisses friend, I blinked, frowned, and looked at the clock. The room was still blessedly dark and the clock read six, which was weird but not alarming.
Blinking and giving the clock a double take, checking my phone just to be sure, my hand shot to my hair as a startled laugh left me. “I slept all day?” I barked. Crap. An entire day wasted away in a deep sleep? My face crinkled, and with that skin dimpling wrinkling the realization my head still felt odd, definitely, but no longer like it was in a vise. Pulling the covers back, I stood and stretched. Honestly, I felt pretty good all over, surprisingly.
Cap started yipping excitedly, dancing around me. Someone had to go. Walking to the slider that led to my small back patio and the box of grass my little dude used to take care of business, I let him out and went to empty the puppy tray near the front hall. My apartment was small but had that much coveted back patio and was on the first floor. My thick, clumsy arse was willing to pay a smidge more if it meant I didn’t die of an awkward trip and slip down several flights of stairs. It was just me and Cap and I wasn’t much for holding onto things. Simple, easy, uncomplicated. I liked my life that way.
The walls in my place were bare, the same beige they were when we’d moved in. A toy squeaked under my bare feet as I snagged a lost but now found hairband off the small, overstuffed bookshelf that doubled for the twenty or so movies I owned, everything crammed in there in a state of organized disarray.
Humming as I paused and kicked the squeaky toy, some tough toy pig thing, out of the way, I was just finishing putting my hair up, pulling it back into a high bun atop my head that flopped when I walked, when I looked to my right and caught sight of myself in the full length mirror my great, great, someone or other had gifted to her daughter, who gifted it to her daughter, etc, etc, and froze.
“No.” The words left me on a choked gasp. “No. No-no-no-no. No. No way.” Doggy tray forgotten, I rushed to the fancy, heavy as hell, ornate bit of family history. My hands lifted to my cheeks and I shook my head. This isn’t real. It’s not. This is... “No.” My eyes squeezed shut tight and I started mumbling under my breath. It was a full minute or two before I realized I was hugging my middle and rocking myself, swaying from side to side. “This is a dream because of my stupid sarcastic wand comments. I’m delusional. It’s- It’s all... It’s in all the water. The docs aren’t the only ones affected.” My hand lifted but I hesitated. Biting my lip, I slowly brought my arm up, fingers outstretched. I nearly jumped when my index finger came into contact with the dull point of a rather sharp looking, “Horn!” A whimper escaped me. A mini meltdown threatened to take hold of me.
My eyes shot open. Hell. Still there. Still very, very much there. Do not panic... Don’t panic, Vel.
Cap started barking to come in, jumping up and down like a lunatic. Rushing to get him, I threw the slider open and scooped him up, carting him with me like his goofy butt was secretly some kind of ward to save me from all of this but... nope, still sporting a damned horn outta the middle of my freaking head!
“HOW... I don’t- Argh.”
At my garbled noises, Cap began to wriggle in my arms, but I needed to hold the squirming little worm, if only for a minute longer. He was my anchor in all of this mess, grounding me. I felt like I might float away at any moment right then, which furthered my drugged water conspiracy theories. Approaching the mirror, scowling at my reflection, I leaned in. Focused on the ring of skin surrounding my new head spike, the dull tip of my horn bumped the mirror. Starting, I blinked and jerked back.
“Ow.” Adjusting Cap so he was under one arm, I rubbed at my forehead, just below my horn. As I did, I watched the mirror shift, like it was suddenly rippling, resembling the surface of water. But there was no water to reflect off of that... and when the ripples subsided, a room stood where my reflection should be. “Uhmm...” Glancing down at Cap, who had chilled and now sat docilely watching, waiting, I gave him a look. “I didn’t do it. Don’t look at me, man.”
Naturally buggy pupper eyes just stared.
Scowling so hard the skin around my horn pulled, I found myself leaning into the mirror again. Weird. Was there a trick to it? A lever or button that made the image come on? Leaning in until my horn almost touched the mirror, I lifted my free hand to poke at the surface. Instead of a ripple or smacking glass, my finger went through. When I went to yank it back out, however, it appeared to be stuck.
“Shoot.” Shoving my hand through up to my wrist, I wriggled it around, surprised as cool air kissed my skin. Oh, I have gotta be so damned high or something. There was happy gas in the air ducts or something. This was the greatest mucked up prank ever and when I woke up in the hospital I’d be surrounded by news teams wanting to interview the residents of Pemberley View Apartments. Lord, I’d give them an exclusive.
“Hand’s stuck now,” I told Cap. “Now what?”
As if to make the decision for us, Cap finally had enough of this sack of potatoes holding business and suddenly tried to jerk from my hold.
“NO!” I bellowed as he ungracefully tumbled from the crook of my arm and right inside the damn mirror. And then, of course, my ass leapt in right after him without another thought. Yelping as I tumbled to the other side, skidding in on my side along a cold stone floor, slamming my shoulder into a dark colored, heavy wooden desk leg, Cap pounced, crawling all over me excitedly like we’d just played the greatest game. Scooping him up, ignoring my new aches and this sore ass and hip, I stood and went to rush back through the mirror. This place looked like medieval times had thrown up all over it and I had no idea what the feck was going on but like hell was I going to get stuck in this no toilet paper for my bunghole, poop in a hole or something, never heard of coffee, nightmare.
When I went at the mirror at a run and promptly smacked into the very mirror like surface and bounced back, flopping ungainly to my plump rump, I cried out in alarm.
The door to the room I found myself in opened and a rather skinny looking man with a long, thick black beard, decked out in speckled blue robes with pointy toed looking elf shoes, came tromping in. Dude was like a goobery Merlin straight out of an offbrand, wish it was, low budget version of what should have been, freezing with his hand on the doorknob upon spotting me and Cap.
Cringing, I clutched my pup with one hand and blurted, pointing at the mirror accusingly, “It didn’t work.”
“It didn’t... what?” Off-brand, baby-faced looking Merlin sputtered, but made no move to step farther inside the room.
My gaze darted to the mirror and I whispered, “It didn’t work.” It didn’t occur to me just then how crazy that sounded. “I came through but now I can’t go back.” My reflection in the mirror, my tiny apartment gone, informed me my eyes were starting to glisten and my lower lip was trembling slightly. And that horn, that flippin’ horn! It gleamed like onyx even in this crappy lighting, like it had been buffed to smooth, glasslike, perfectly pointed tipped, perfection.